Help

[Indi28]

I am a mumsnet talk virgin - but having read some of the messages thought I could get some much needed support. I had my ds 10 weeks ago and suffered a third degree tear due to shoulder dystocia. My tear hasn't healed yet and keeps getting infected. Feeling at quite a low ebb - have been to GP, very understanding, offerred counselling and ADs - don't want to take if I can help it. Need some good news stories, particularly from people who have healed third degree tears. I find myself in a constant state of anxiety about my health - feeling if anything else goes wrong I couldn't cope. Any words of wisdom will be gratefully received.

[Pfer]

Indi28 - sorry no experience of this...just sending big hugs....

[mummytosteven]

No experience of this either. I think you will get more replies if you have a more specific title, and put it under Health or Childbirth, and call it something like "Had a 3rd Degree tear, stressed because it's not healing well".

The first thing that strikes me is that your GP may well have been sympathetic in terms of seeing you as depressed, but what's he doing to get your tear sorted? Is your HV any good, as she might be helpful about info about tears healing and/or about if it might be appropriate for you to be referred back to the hospital to see a gynaecologist

[Marne]

Sending lots of sympathy,
I had a 2nd degree tear 2 years ago followed by a bad infection due to a retained placenta and was'nt well for a long time, my tear took months to heal which made me feel realy lo. I think it took 6 months before all felt normal again and here i am 2 years on 34 weeks pg and about to go through it again. I'm sure you will be feeling better soon, give it time and you will be feeling as good as new.

[Beetroot]

No experience but bumping for you.

Is it ad's you need or some advice on how to heal the tear? Are you eating properly? Are you loking after yourself as best you can? Vitamins?? What about a soak thing for your tear? A herbalist will maek one up or talk to the active birth centre. they may be able to recomend somethng

[Laura032004]

Are you worried that you might have post natal depression as well? The constant state of anxiety sounds familiar How is your ds - in good health, happy, feeding well, sleeping?

The Edinburgh test will help you to decide if you have PND

I'd second mummytosteven's advice of posting under health / childbirth for more specific advice on coping with a tear.

Hope things get better for you

[Indi28]

Thanks for all your thoughts so far - just to answer a few.

My tear is being monitored - and am back to the gyny consultant next week. My ds is doing v. well - big strapping lad - could sleep a bit better - but you can't have everything.

I am trying desperately to keep eating well as I am also breast feeding - sometimes difficult with lack of appetite.

I did the edinburgh test with my HV at 6 week check - wasn't too bad - but gone down hill since then. My feelings are that if I could just concentrate on the tear and getting it better - but keep getting sideswiped by depressive thoughts and moods.

HAve posted the same message on the childbirth thread as suggested.

Thanks for your messages

[mummytosteven]

glad you are getting proper gynae help with the tear and have a consultant appointment. with the eating - in the early days I used to keep loads of tubs of humous/pate in the fridge - something nice and easy to spoon up if I couldn't be bothered with any meal preparation.

[Laura032004]

I had the same eating problem! Does your partner have a packed lunch? DH used to make me one too, so I had a sandwich ready for lunch every day. Other nice quick things are fresh pasta and sauces (fridge to plate in under five minutes!), and oats so simple porridge (oats are great for boosting milk supply too!). Even now I often have a couple of slices of toast and some mini babybel for lunch, and tell myself that it's just the same as a cheese sandwich! Have you got lots of 'bready' things in - crumpets, hot cross buns etc - great for one handed eating.

If you know your results from the test at 6 weeks, then monitor how you are going up and down. There are things that can be done even if you are bf - even talking to somebody helps a lot. Have you discussed how you are feeling with your partner?