Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

1 2 3

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Just so low and lonely

57 replies

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 14:18

Ok, finally admitting to myself that it's more than just baby blues.
I moved house for my husband's work when 7 1/2 months pregnant. I was sure that I would soon meet people in antenatal classes but was soon told they were all full. I tried and tried to get into something but it was like banging my head against a brick wall.
I left my job and friends behind, my family are all in Wales and I know no one within 200 miles. MW and HV have been hopeless.
Love baby to bits but cry all the time and can't function properly.
Everyone else seems to know loads of mums but i feel completely shut out of it all. Beginning to get agoraphobic too.
Feel completely hopeless and pathetic.
Help.

OP posts:

Report

golds · 17/01/2006 14:30

sorry you are feeling like this. Have you tried your local NCT group, whereabouts are you? maybe there are some mnetters in your area.

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 14:37

Thanks golds. Am in Nottingham area. NCT haven't been much help in the past but i will try again. It's just such a vicious circle - feel lonely which makes me feel down which makes me feel reclusive which makes me more lonely! Just so pathetic

OP posts:

golds · 17/01/2006 14:45

your not pathetic at all, my children are at school now, but I used to just go out for walks hoping I would bump into people, luckily our doctors surgery have a notice board with a list of all mother & toddler groups and one day I pluckled up the courage to go. I think its worth giving NCT another call.

I am pretty sure there are others in your area, why don't you start a conversation on the meet-ups boards, I am sure others will reply.

I am sorry I am not much help, but saw your thread and couldn't not reply. I hope things start to improve soon for you.

golds · 17/01/2006 14:49

yes there is a thread already, just bumped it for you

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 14:50

it means a lot golds, it really does.

OP posts:

golds · 17/01/2006 14:51

youre very welcome

stephanie21 · 17/01/2006 14:56

hi rhian,i'm at home all day aswell.my dd has cf and i dont get out much as she is often poorly.my other kids are all at school,and dh works all day.it can be very lonely,and i get to the point where i have the opportunity to go out,but i dont want to.try what golds said,and try to get in touch with other mums in your area.you can guarantee that alot of other mums out there feel the same,your not alone.hope things pick up for you.xx

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 15:07

That's exactly what I'm feeling Stephanie. The days just all start to seep into each other and when i don't feel up to going out today I put it off to tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. I need to pull myself together, why is it so hard?

OP posts:

stephanie21 · 17/01/2006 15:32

i dont know rhian.thats how i feel.and do you find the days pass quickly?one minute your getting up,the next its bedtime.i make plans to go out the following day,then when i get up,i think 'i cant be bothered today'.think we both need rockets up our bums!!i alsofind that if anyone rings up,i try to keep them on the phone for longer as i have no one to talk to all day.

mummytosteven · 17/01/2006 15:57

see if there are any surestart groups etc anywhere near you - they aren't usually too bothered about you living in their catchment area. Activity based classes are good, such as swimming, baby massage, library rhyme time; you don't feel as pressurised to be sociable,

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 16:13

100% Stephanie. Days just fly by and I seem to get nothing done. Definately need the rockets! Sounds all really familiar, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

OP posts:

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 16:14

Thanks mummytosteven, I've looked into a few things like that but had completely forgotten about library rhyme times - which is daft since i used to run one.

OP posts:

stephanie21 · 17/01/2006 16:33

what is library rhyme times?

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 17:46

Well they differ from library to library but they tend to be a free singalong for mums and babies. We used to have toys and instruments to shake. Lots of fun making noise in a library and a nice relaxed atmos.

OP posts:

stephanie21 · 17/01/2006 17:54

our library is very small so dont think they would hold one!

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 18:05

That's a shame, we used to have lots of fun. Might be worth asking anyway?
I make it all sound so easy! Why can't I do it? I need a kick up the backside really. Never going to meet people if i don't make the effort. Just had some bad experiences the first time i tried: Baby clinic resulted in my discreetly sobbing whilst everyone around me chatted away. It became very clear that I have moved into a small town where everyone seems to know each other. Wish I could stop being so oversensitive.

OP posts:

emily05 · 17/01/2006 18:22

mama website

netmums

Sorry that you are feeling like this. You are not alone, I think that motherhood can make us feel iscolated. I have been suffering with depression and I find it hard getting motivated. You just have to start each day thinking that this will be the day you do a bit extra.
It is baby steps. I make sure that I go out everyday now, it started off just half an hour and I have built it up. Even if it is just a walk.

above are a couple of helpful websites with advice a a facility to meet people. x

stephanie21 · 17/01/2006 18:24

i live in a place like that!not only do you have the people that have known each other for years,you get the ones that like to stick in their own little groups,but also here where i live it is a welsh speaking rural area.(i'm originally from hull)so alot of them around here say hello,but then they start talking in welsh and you dont have a bloody clue what they are talking about!!i did start to learn the language,but its hard finding the time when you have a family.we are planning on moving from here to somewhere that has shops and parks etc.

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 18:31

Funny, I grew up in Wales, and although am first lang English I speak Welsh fluently too! So if ever you want to practise... Small towns can be lovely and cosy when you're on the inside, but they're so exclusive if you're on the outside looking in.
Thanks Emily, much appreciated, it does me good to be reminded how many nice people are out there

OP posts:

stephanie21 · 17/01/2006 18:33

my 4 eldest kids speak welsh.one of teh things i learnt was (forgive me if the spelling is wrong!!) wedi blino!what part of wales are you from?

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 19:05

Aberystwyth, rydw i wedi blino hefyd! Excellent, whereabouts are you?

OP posts:

stephanie21 · 17/01/2006 19:06

criccieth,north west.my dh nan lives in henllan,which is about half an hour or so from aberystwyth.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 19:15

I think I'm going to just have to drag myself out of the house no matter how i'm feeling. This might be the only solution. It must be even harder for you Stephanie, with your dd having cf, how do you cope?

OP posts:

stephanie21 · 17/01/2006 19:17

i dont know how i cope myself!think tomorrow am going to go out for a walk.(not if its raining though!)

Rhian101 · 17/01/2006 19:21

I will if you will! Good luck getting a dry day in Wales! LOL
Am very impressed.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.