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Low self esteem - counselling or tablets?

(6 Posts)
ChairmanoftheBored Tue 07-May-13 11:04:12

Can I join this thread. I really feel I could use some support. My husband is great but I don't think anyone truly understands what its like to suffer with low self esteem unless they suffer too.
To OP I have no advice really other than perhaps to write down your triggers and try to rationalise yours thoughts on paper.
Its such a shame that counselling is so expensive privately. I had depression a couple of years back and the only help I got was telephone CBT. Which was rubbish to be honest.

I am currently finding counselling helpful (suffering from depression at the moment, but have always had low self esteem) as it is helping me to understand my experiences as a child and teenager that have contributed to my low self-esteem. The whole critical voice thing is deadly I know.

A book I've been recommended is Overcoming low self-esteem by Dr Melanie Fennell (sorry haven't worked out the links thing). It's based on Cognitive Behavoural Therapy which my DH has found v helpful for dep/low self-esteem.

I do think low self-esteem is not unusual but its sad. For me it limits what I do in life which is a pity. But hopefully not forever...

dogsandcats Sun 05-May-13 14:28:47

Am resurrecting this thread.
So many people seem to suffer from low self esteem, which seems to seep into many areas of their lives.
Hops the op doesnt mind!

mellowdramatic Sat 10-Sep-11 13:56:54

Thanks Bumblebee I've ordered the first one (free delivery as well - what a bargain!). It gets great reviews and is definitely worth a try, thanks for the suggeston x

BumbleBo Thu 08-Sep-11 15:18:49

We can all be our own worst enemy...our harshest critic can often be ourselves! I am always recommending this book to others, because it just made me realise so much about myself and how being so critical of myself was eroding my self esteem and causing depression...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315491071&sr=1-1

the exercises are so easy and work so fast...there is a chapter on building your self esteem. Hope this helps X

Oh and this book I'm reading now is great too, I'm quite shy and often find people try to bully me a bit...this guy shows you how to be assertive and look after yourself, which boosts your self esteem too!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/When-Say-Feel-Guilty-Systematic/dp/0553263900/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315491364&sr=1-1

mellowdramatic Tue 06-Sep-11 21:52:03

Has anyone successfully improved their self esteem and if yes how did you do it?

I've had low self esteem all my life - I think it's partly just my personality and partly my upbringing - my mum was quite a critical person and my dad had other priorities - I can't blame them they have low self confidence themselves.

My kids have low self esteem and are suffering to some extent at primary school - they have both mentioned bullying and not being liked by schoolfriends (they are both extremely quiet and shy). I get very upset when I hear this - I try my best to instil confidence in them and they seem happy enough and very confident at home and when we go out for meals etc, although neither particulary likes noisy/social situations.

I'm recently divorced and still single - I don't think there's any chance of me having a meaningful relationship with any man because of my low self esteem but i would like to do this eventually - the though of being alone for the rest of my life is quite scary. I'm quite independent and on the surface I'm doing quite well - I have a good job, nice house, I can put on a facade - but underneath I pretty much hate myself and my failings, mistakes I make at work, not fitting in anywhere, generally feeling that people don't like me and don't take to me and not being sure why. I've lived with those feelings forever and I'm exhausted with it. There are many times during my life I have thought of going to my GP for ADs or similar but on the other hand its just my personality - it's not a short term illness.

I have a small circle of friends who are all very confident - I think they realise that I have low self esteem and were very supportive through my divorce etc but I know that I would bore them silly and they wouldn't have much patience if I opened up to them - I'd just sound pathetic.

I've looked at a website and there's a counsellor near me who charges £35 an hour. I don't feel that I can afford it and i wouldn't be hugely confident that it could help me. But I'd like to do something to help me and my kids to have a better outlook in life. Has anyone any positive stories?

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