anger management - loosing it with my kids

[turtles]

I realised a few weeks ago I have anger management issues and maybe depression. I thought I was coping really well with things but have got a lot worse since I realised I have anger issues. It's almost like putting a label on it has allowed me to get even worse and just blame it on that. It started when my 2nd child was a baby but I put it down to the situation we were in. Then it got worse and I put it down to my 1st child's development phase. Now it's even worse and I've got a 3rd child now. I don't think I fit the description for PND and have been very positive and happy most of the time but I have been making a real effort to feel that way for the sake of my children. Now it's all falling apart and I loose my temper with the two older ones several times a day, every day. Today it is really, really bad and I've gone too far. My close family/relatives are aware and supporting me, and have been there themselves.

I'm torn between phoning the health visitor, GP or going straight to a counsellor. The relative who has been in this situation has been through counselling and keeps telling me that's the answer but I can't seem to pick up the phone and do it. For a start there is very little time within office hours when all the kids are quiet and settled long enough for me to make a phone call. I'm also breastfeeding so feel quite restricted with my options. I really don't want to cut down or stop in the next few months but obviously realise that my issues are directly affecting my kids now so wouldn't let that stop me getting any recommended treatment.

I just wondered what other's think and would advise? I'm feeling like the worst mother in the world right now and really upset thinking about the next few days/weeks/months.

[WhenCanISleep]

Pick up the phone - make yourself an appointment with your GP - they can then refer you for counselling and someone else outside the situation knows how you are feeling.
hug

[midnightservant]

I have been angry a fair few times in my life in the way you describe. Correct me if I'm wrong, but have you good reason to be angry with someone or something or some situation, and the kids are taking the fall out because they are there?

Don't worry that they'll remember you as an angry mum, they will remember the real loving you that you are most of the time :)