Friend with OCD now self harming. How can I help while she is awaiting CBT, This is huge sorry!

[manticlimactic]

My friend has a history of OCD. Checking all plugs are off. Doors are locked etc.

She had some therapy a few years ago and did improve,I don't think she had CBT, just a counceller at her doctors surgery. Was given homework (reduce the amount she checks 5,then 4 time and so on) and although she told me she was ok I did suspect at the time she was just telling me so I didn't worry.

She has just come over to me and told me that it's started back up again over the past few months. She's contantly checking electrics - not as bad as before but now she's not sleeping on a night because she's up and down checking the doors. She exhausted at work because she's not getting any sleep. She's told her boss and he has been quite understanding in some ways and he understands that stress makes her worse so he has sent her home from work every lunchtime so she can sleep (she seems fine through the day, doesn't have to check the locks) but is insisting she still does some things at work which is stressing her out so she feels he's only making the right noises so to speak which it increasing her stress levels. Shes also worrying that if she reduces her hours she wont be able to cope financially. She doesn't think she can take these hours off as part holiday as she works in a school.

Now this time she has told me she is self harming. :( She feels good when she self harms but then feels guilty immediately after. From what little I know about self harm it's about the feeling of control (is that right?) but I'm so lost and really want to help her but really don't know how or what to say. I know me just being here for her is a start and I've been looking to see if there are any support groups for her to attend while she is waiting on her CBT but I seem to be just going round in circles on Google.

The doctor says it will be 4 to 5 weeks before she gets an appointment but she seems really downhearted thinking that no one can help her and can't see how talking to stranger can help. She has mentioned to me that she thinks her OCD stems from when she was younger and how her dad treated her (that's a long long story). She is on ADs and the dose has been increased to 60mg (sorry don;t know which AD she is on) from 20mg which was the initial dose.

So that's a bit of a the backstory. I suppose what I'm asking of the knowledgable MNers is are there support groups I could help her find. I'm at a loss how to help her in the interim, especially with the self harming - I just feel so useless, I'm sat here in tears.

[livingstonbach]

Sorry to hear you are going through this, you sound like a very good friend.

Does the GP know she is self-harming? If not please tell her/him as she needs help now.

Obviously I don't know your friend and how she responds to things, but could you try taking her out, for a walk, a drive, maybe a coffee if she feels up to it? When I was in the depths (I have OCD) the 'best' days were ones where I had things planned, to keep busy - nothing stressful, but something to look forward to each day.

It also sounds to me like her GP should sign her off work so she can get some sleep, but again, this could be the worst thing to do as she may need the structure of work to get her through this difficult period.

Re. support groups - try First Steps to Freedom, Mind helpline and/or the Samaritans. I've used all three over the years and found them very helpful. I'm pretty sure you can call them all as well so you can find out other ways to support her.

Hope this helps and good luck

[manticlimactic]

Thank you for those names Livingston. Will give those a try.

The GP does know she is self harming. She is a very busy person generally. She does go out, visit friends and such. It's just at night when the OCD really kicks in. I did ask if she thought she would think it would be an idea to get signed off and we did discuss whether it would help. I know she could sleep but perhaps being at home she would have more time to mull over things. But on the other hand at work she's snapping at people and yesterday she said she almost lashed out at another member of staff. She was doodling, sketching how she could harm herself when a member of staff grabbed the pencil off her and her wrist and said she was this close to punching her.

I've offered to go to the doctor with her because she can't remember what he said and she was really upset when she went(you know what it's like).

If she has told the doc she is self harming he will refer her to the correct people won't he? I only ask because the last time she went she said the counceller was awful and said she couldn't so anything for her. I wish she'd have told be this at the time because now she's of a mindset that no one can help her :(

[livingstonbach]

Sometimes it takes a while to click with the right therapist - I've seen some awful ones in my time! I don't think they are incompetent or anything, just that we didn't gel. That said, the best therapist I ever had really challenged me - it was terrible at the time, but she helped me so much.

Hopefully, if she has a good GP, he will refer her to the Community Mental Health Team for assessment. He shouldn't ignore self harm.

Offering to go to the GP with her sounds like a good idea, especially as she is so distressed.

What really concerns me is her 'sketching' out her plans to self harm - that sounds like a real (and obvious) cry for help, especially as other people were around.

Hope your calls to the support groups help.