If I gave up all medication - would the world end?

[missymousie]

What would happen? as anyone tried it?

My situation is I guess I've been in a state of moderate depression since this time last year. Ds very ill for 3mths, df dying utterly unexpectedly and a car accident that left me in pain for months as well as being lone p with a very stressful job.
I've had two points of going into severe depression.

The first time end of Nov was sleep related due to pain and I refused ads and took sleeping tablets - zopliclone and of course within a month couldn't sleep without them. terrible time at work coinciding with next visit to dr had me off zopiclone and onto amitripyline

Tried to swop Thurs and felt so ill through night and next day and had to miss a day of work (a hanging offence) took zopiclone Fri night to make sure ok for today BUT what happens if I don't take anything.

My depression is all based on external things when am away from work and feeling ok am happy and fine BUT in work or feeling the side effects of sleeping tabs or ads feel terrible with lots of acute physical effects (vomiting, palpitations, migraine, sight problems etc)

So what happens if I don't take amitripyline? Go through cold turkey on the zopiclone is there life on the other side? Has anyone done it?

[NanaNina]

OH missymouse - there is small wonder that you had depression with 3 life crises more or less together. I wonder why you refused ADs and took zopliclone instead - was that because your main symptom was being unable to sleep - some ADs do help a great deal with sleep. As you know zopiclone is only to be used sparingly and as you found out you needed them all the time, which is what happens. Not surprising that your gp put yoy on amitriptyline instead, as they are an AD with a sedatvie effect.

Wasn't sure what you meant by "tried to stop Thursday" - do you mean swopped the AD for the zopliclone?

You mention work being intolerable because of side effects of sleeping tabs or ADs - are you taking both or swapping them on a frequent basis. I think you need to be far more careful about these drugs, and should definitely not be taking ADs and zopiclone. Maybe amitriptyline doesn't suit you - it's one of the old fashioned tryclics (I am on one of those - imipramine) and you are suffering side effects. How long have you been on amitriptyline because sometimes the side effects become apparent before the benefit is felt.

You apparently don't have any problems when not at work and is this the case if you swap the meds - you don't have any side effects and no depression? It doesn't need me to say that the stress of work seems to be the problem - is it silly to ask if you could find a less stressful job.

I really really don't think you should stop the AD because you could suffer withdrawl effects and I'm not sure about zopiclone - but going "cold turkey" doesn't sound a good idea. You need to see a knowledgeable GP and discuss your meds but I do know that you should NOT be taking zopiclone on any kind of medium/longterm basis. Where are you getting these zopiclone from as GPs are reluctant to prescribe many because of the dependency they create.

[missymousie]

Hi NanaNina - thank you for such a thoughtful and obviously knowledgeable reply - I really appreciate it.

I did swop Amitrplyline for the Zopiclone on Thursday and felt....terrible I took the ZCln on Friday and slept(ish) but last night didn't take anything and slept(ish)but felt incredibly better

tbh I've suffered side effects with citlopram (a few years ago prescribed for anxiety - work related) and as they're pretty well documented the dr didn't even suggest it.

I think it might be related to being diagnosed many years ago as hypermanic but as reacted very badly to meds have just dealt with it since and don't really want to bring it up again to drs BUT as soon as I take any mood altering chemical I'm poorly physically and mentally

My GP prescribed zopliclone as I hadn't been able to sleep for enough time that I was on the point of breakdown - sadly I reached that point again ten days ago - I think the most helpful thing she did was amend my duties although now it looks like I might lose my job I am pretty calm about it.

All I can say is a friend with chronic depression said it was like having a voice in your head always saying bad things. I have a voice in my head constantly looking on the bright side but swamped with information, things to do, demands from work and home and I physically break down rather than mentally.

With three days off from work where I have purposefully not worked/looked at emails (except once) or thought about my situation I am happy, energetic and chatty, look and feel perfectly normal. I know after two days at work I will look grey and be having palpitations, headaches, vomiting before work and constantly leaking tears.

The situation is obvious but am single parent with one good income and it isn't easy at the moment to find work. Am going to dispose of zopliclone - am will save amitriptyline till have reached breaking point again.

It takes a long time to get to breaking point and then I bounce back really quickly - is that normal? Could I use the AD occasionally? Would that work?

Sorry for long post i is good to talk about it

[GetDownYouWillFall]

Hi there missymousie sorry you are going through such a rough time. Does your ex help with finances at all? It seems to me your stressful job is at the heart of all your problems.

If you could just reduce your responsibilities in some way or even better, find another job that would be so much better for your mental health. I appreciate this is not easy though being a single parent and in the current financial climate.

So sorry you've struggled with sleep and are now having difficulties getting off the zopiclone. I took them for a while and was terrified of getting dependent on them. It's amazing how quickly the body gets used to them. It's a shame your GP prescribed too many, normally they are not supposed to give out more than 2 weeks supply.

I would continue with the amitriptyline and gradually wean yourself off the zopiclone. Going cold turkey is hideous and you will not be in a fit state to work or look after the DC. Getting off these kind of drugs is hard but it definitely can be done.

[eviscerateyourmemory]

Do you have any plans to go back to your GP? It sounds like your situation is quite complicated.

[missymousie]

You are all very kind - it is wonderful that people care - I really appreciate that you've all taken the time to help and give thoughtful practical advice

I haven't started taking the amitriptyline regularly I only took it once the first night I stopped the zopiclone - and had such a bad reaction I feel nervous of taking it again plus on research it is definitely not for people in manic phase of bipolar and when I'm ok I'm always very slightly in that phase (if that makes sense) and if not ok it is always about something specific and I've not had a shortage of those the last few years. But SSSRIs will stimulate a manic episode and am trying always very hard to keep that bit of me very much under control. re Zopliclone I got one month then a two months but it was prescribed for regular use. But I became tolerant and had less and less sleep and started having odd periods where I was sort of awake and moving around but not fully conscious as well as horrible other side effects

I feel ok now tbh - work is always a risk as so unpredictable but maybe the amitriptyline will work as a one off sedative - as zopliclone should have been used. Hopefully though work are now aware that I just can't cope with people shouting at me or adding things I'm hopeless at to my workload for a week or so at least. Or until they decide they want me out and increase the pressure

Am not sure what to do am going to try not to take anything tonight and see what work throws at me on Monday.

I wonder how much mental health is related to your brain chemistry, your past experiences and to specific events - so frustrating to have something so frowned on by society when just can't seem to fix it quickly - how do you become totally ok again?

[NanaNina]

Your history does sound somewhat complicated missymouse. Have you definitely been diagnosed with bipolar by a physiciatrist. If so I can't understand why you are not being treated for that disorder. I think lithium is one of the standard treatments isn't it?

You seem to be saying that amitriptyline gives you a bad reaction - but you didn't give it much chance as you only took it for one night, but are clearly worried that it is not right for people in the manic phase of bipolar. Are you sure that you are in that phase - it doesn't sound much like it to be honest. You also think that SSRIs will stimulate a manic episode, so in a way you don't think that the SSRIs or the tryclics are right for you. Another reason why I am thinking you should be being treated for bipolar if indeed that is the disorder from which you are suffering.

However be they tricyclics or SSRIs you must take them for a at least 4 weeks to know if they are going to be of benefit to you. You can't just take them now and again (like an aspirin) as you seem to be doing missymouse. (love the name btw)

Re the issues you raise about mental illness being related to brain chemistry, past experiences and specific events - I think it depends on who you talk to. The medical model very much believes in changes in brain chemistry and prescribes drugs to treat changes in this chemistry. The psychological model often does not believe this and thinks that therapy is the answer. Sometimes a combination of both is the better solution.

As for you Q "How do you become totally ok again" - I think if anyone had the answer to that we would all jump for joy - but no one can see into the future. Another thing is that mental illness is different for evryone and what drug works for one person may not work for another.

Honestly think you need to go back to the gp and get this drug thing sorted out as you are a bit at sea with it all at the moment. If you are perfectly ok out of work, why not get signed off for a couple of weeks and give yourself time and space to think things through.

Sending good wishes.