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Mental health

Relative in poor mental health-what can I do to help?

6 replies

biryani · 17/02/2011 19:38

I have a cousin who's in poor mental health and I don't know what to do to help him. He's 56. He's been slightly "odd" behaviourally since childhood and is an only child. He's been taking a variety of pills since his early 20s, for depression and anxiety. I think he now takes 12-14 a day, although I'm not sure what they are. He hasn't worked since his mid-20s and has never left home. He recently lost his mother who doted on him but suffered from dementia for about 5 years prior to her death. He is now practically a recluse, and says he suffers panic attacks when he goes out. His mobility has been affected by the tablets and he has no bladder function. He has a social worker, nurses and helpers (not full time) but is rapidly going downhill despite the support he's getting. I visit regularly and he has people in the neighbourhood looking out for him. I think he should move to some sort of supported accommodation, but he is unable/ unwilling to take decisions so nothing happens. He has plenty of money and a house but refuses to spend anything on making his life better. What can I do?

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Flojo1979 · 18/02/2011 17:07

Sounds like he needs a review and fast. U need to speak to his social worker who will get him assessed by his psychiatrist, possibly needs a change of medication.

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madmouse · 18/02/2011 17:14

Possibly you can do very little if he doesn't want anything to change. A move to sheltered accommodation is a very big step and he may lose the people around him that make him feel safe.

What is the problem with him carrying on as he is?

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shodatin · 18/02/2011 17:52

Your cousin has probably deteriorated since losing his mother, and will still be grieving. If there is a branch of the charity "Cruse" nearby, it may be worth contacting them, as there are social arrangements as well as counselling available (and not only for loss of partners, as I understand.

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biryani · 18/02/2011 18:57

Thanks so much for comments. He's just had a review ofhis medication, with a view to reducing slightly. I agree that moving would be a huge step but his condition is deteriorating so rapidly that soon there will be no option, imho, because his house is in such a state. I've cleaned for him in the past, but he found it traumatic and started cutting himself. What he needs,I feel, is a full-time carer, but he won't pay for one. I think he would really like ime to become his carer myself and part of me feels guilty that I am not doing more to help him. I'm at the end of my tether and really worried.

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shodatin · 18/02/2011 20:34

I wonder if you've discussed this with his social worker - are you next-of-kin? It must be worrying if he has no other family nearby to help.

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biryani · 20/02/2011 15:38

I'm his closest blood relative who is in touch with him. He has other cousins but they are not close. Yet another cousin lives in the same street and is a great support, but I don't want her to feel that she is put-upon because she lives closest. She also has problems of her own and is not in great health. I live about 20 miles away, a 40-minute drive. So far I have been able to visit regularly, at least once a week, but I need to go back to work full-time soon as my DP is unemployed. I think my cousin is panicking over this. I am in regular contact with his social worker, and she's great, but she is running out of options now as my cousin doesn't seem to know what he wants.