Hi all,
I've been battling depression and anxiety on and off for years. I'm in weekly psychotherapy, which I know can sometimes make things worse before they get better. I'm not sure if that's the case with me - it's not much fun, but it does feel very helpful. Anyway, I've been waking up very early in the mornings again recently, my brain feels like fudge - my thoughts are really slow, I feel anxious, thoroughly exhausted, and this morning when I woke up I just felt this massive pressure in my head and felt utterly, utterly miserable and was crying for ages. My DH tries to be very supportive, but when I feel low I often feel like he's to blame for everything, even though in reality I know he's not.
There are loads of things going on in my life right now which make me think it's all situational things which are triggering my low mood - I'm coming to the end of a PhD and am working 6-7 days a week, sometimes more (e.g. evenings etc). I've just got over a nasty cold - sometimes this makes me feel like crap too, mood-wise. I have no job to go into once my PhD is over, and no time to apply for jobs properly (I have applied for a couple, but heard nothing back), my DH has been working 12 hour days, and I feel really annoyed with him for this (he's freelance so could be more flexible considering I'm swimming in work at the moment, and have no flexibility with it!), and I feel a terrible, aching guilt about not being around enough for my 3 year old DS who is absolutely the light of my life - but I just don't have the energy for much right now.
We do get on very well as a family and generally the atmosphere at home is playful and calm, but I feel like I'm about to snap with all the pressure on me at the moment. I know there are people in worse situations, but I know I have a tendency toward getting depressed, and I think it's happening now.
I'm considering taking ADs but am really skeptical about them. Partly because I think the pharmaceutical industry is sketchy, and the evidence base for these medicines is not really very sound (e.g. no one actually understands how they work!), plus I'm worried about side effects. I've taken ADs before about 10 years ago but stopped them myself as I was getting 'jolts' etc a lot and it was really annoying!
Any advice?
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Mental health
Am depressed and considering antidepressants - any advice?
3 replies
ovumahead · 01/02/2011 11:19
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