Mother diagnosed with depression, but refuses treatment

[TheNutmegofconsolation]

I live with my elderly mother, as her carer. She is disabled. She has recently been diagnosed by her GP as having depression, but has refused to take any medication to help.

Her depression makes her difficult to live with and to care for. How can I persuade her to help herself to feel better? (Which would also make my life easier!)

[snowmash]

WOuld she try talking therapy?

[TheNutmegofconsolation]

I think talking therapy would be very helpful for her.

My father died very suddenly three years ago of a brain haemorrage and I think that her depression is related to her finding it hard to cope with his death.

Being elderly and disabled means that it is hard for her to build a life without her husband.

I found it hard too cope too, but I had bereavement counselling which really helped me. The problem is, because she is depressed, she doesn't want to go out and I think it will be hard to get her to go to anything.

So I thought that medication would be the first step to her feeling better.

[oldme]

Like snowmash said would try talking therapy first as a common symptom from depression is anxiety. I had this myself, I would not leave the house. and found that dealing with the anxiety while I was depressed did not work at all.I did not leave the house for over a year.

I did not use medication either- But talking to individuals, councillers who were in a similar sitution to me did help.

There are councillers / charities that will come to your home if your mum cannot leave the house.

heres a link I used, to get me help- I hope you find this useful.just click onto the leaflet you require. On the last page of some of the leaflets they have websites, books and charites you can contact.
www.patient.co.uk/DisplayConcepts.asp?WordId=depression&MaxResults=50&fromsearchbox=1

Good luck. Hope this helps

[TheNutmegofconsolation]

Thank you, I will check out the link. It would definitely be helpful if someone could come to the house to visit.

It is rather a vicious circle of depression making it hard for her to go out and socialise which in turn makes her more depressed.

[oldme]

I've been visited at home on a couple of occassions so I do not see that should be a problem.

Another one to look for is Mind. Its a mental Health charity for England and wales, they are apparently V good.

It is a very vicious circle but she can get through it, it does take time though. It might be worth talking to the doctor again as he/she may be able to give you more info on alternatives or local mental health charities in your area, and they maybe able to refer her to a councillor.

Good luck with everything, your mother is very lucky to have such a supportive daughter.

[TheNutmegofconsolation]

Thank you for replying. I will look into Mind and I am also going to contact AGE UK to see if there is a befriending service or similar.

She does go out to a lunch club once a week, but she hasn't made any friends there that should could see for a cup of tea and a chat.
She tells me she wants people of her own age to chat to - guess I am too young to reminisce with!

[brabbinsandfyffe]

I had a very similar situation to you following bereavement OP, sorry for your loss. We contacted Cruse, who sent a counsellor to my mum's house weekly. There was a bit of waiting list, but it was worth it. She also started going to art classes, which helped her a lot.

[oldme]

Good point brabbins there are alot of adult education classes availible- they do things like dress making and sugar craft etc. She would be able to get discounts with them- look up adult education in your area- Alot of elderly ladies go to these classes and you do make alot of friends there. I've attended them- and they are excellent!
I am doing life drawing and computers at the moment and highly recommend them!