overwhelmed

[greenanna]

Overwhelmed - chased for debts, some certainly not correct, hassle with lawyers acting for mum's estate, no family to speak of apart from a dh (and he is very loving, I am very lucky there) and two loving kids. My greatest, almost unbearable pain is my eldest - now early 20s who left home a year ago and has (we now know) been in/out psychiatric hospital. Two near fatal attempts on his own life. Left leaving very, very cruel notes for us. Has written to third parties, including youngest's school, with all manner of terrible allegations against us. Police/social services involved - investigation led nowhere as these were unfounded allegations but they left, in their wake, still more pain associated with this ds.

He had made it clear - wants nothing to do with us though we continue to offer support and love. This is, I guess, what unconditional love is all about - tested like nothing on earth at times like this. Missing him so much, barely sleeping, feel so lonely as few friends know - actually I have few friends in these parts.

DS's behaviour has been dreadful but he is clearly very troubled indeed. Mental health services where is living (with, when he's not in hospital, birth father who's he's hardly seen since he was very little and who is, sad to say, himself a depressed and very odd individual) are telling us very little - he won't let them.

I think to myself - My God, what have I done? I've been a loving mother, not perfect but how could this have happened? There's this huge hole in my life and I can hardly cope. Any support gratefully received.

[madmouse]

Sorry I have no real support to offer - I have only a 3 year old ds and no experience of what it feels like when a child does this.

But I didn't want you to sit and stare at the screen all night with no reply. This forum gets quite quiet late at night so do bump it in the morning when things warm up.

Hope you get some sleep!

[greenanna]

Thanks, madmouse, that's kind of you. You sleep well, too.

[madmouse]

bump

[greenanna]

How do I bump my op? Thanks.

[Nyx]

Madmouse just did it for you - you just post on it.

I'm so sorry to read about your heartbreaking situation. I don't have much help to offer but sympathy - it must be so, so difficult for you. You can cope though - you are coping. Perhaps if you got some counselling yourself, it might help you work this out in your head?

Best of luck and best wishes to you (((hug)))

[greenanna]

Thanks all and Leonie, so sorry to hear about your brother. Must be hell for your parents.
DH and I are feeling wretched - and I, as DS's mum, about as low as it gets. You love them so much even when they stick the knife in and twist hard. What a test.