Experiences of CBT for therapy with family issues?

[CrazyChristmasLady]

I have major family issues, stemming from my own 'mother' leaving me at 4 years old.

I am often up and down about it and other silly little things happen which I blow up into a massive deal and completely overreact to. Nobody in my family seems to be remotely bothered about why I am the way I am. As I was taken in by another relative at the age of 4, everyone seems to think that all is and was well with my childhood and life now, despite the first 4 years being absolute shit and there are things that I remember from this time and other things I have found out since.

I have finally gone to my GP and asked to be referred for some proper therapy, not just conselling, been there and done that twice and while it was ok, it isn't enough.

My GP was very understanding and has referred me for CBT (1 to 1, not a group).

I have had CBT before for M.E./CFS and it was not good! I had a graduate student who, when I explained different symptoms, would say "oh I get like that" and I got really fed up and disillusioned with the whole thing. If I had had someone better, it may have been a better experience, even though it did absolutely nothing for my M.E. as I knew it wouldn't.

What exactly happens with CBT? I don't think what I received previously could be counted as 'proper' CBT as I have heard it is suppose to be very good. It didn't help that the man I saw (and I really don't mean this in a horrible way at all) had a very very bad stutter and as I was totally exhausted anyway, I just couldn't concentrate and focus for that long on what he was saying, so I don't really remember that much about it, plus he made a very innocent comment to me once about my appearance which made me uncomfortable and slightly put me off (I am wary of men I don't know for good reasons).

[NanaNina]

I am recovering from a major depressive episode that landed me in psychiatric hospital for 3 months and have been introduced to CBT by my CPN (communit psychiatric nurse) she is lovely and does not claim to be a therapist but a nurse with knowledge of CBT.

CBT is a very uncomplicated therapy that deals with the "hear and now" - it's basic aim is to assist people to change their negative thoughts (which are usually automatic) e.g. I am never going to get better - to a more balanced thought e.g. it is much more likely that I will get better. The thing is we scare ourselves with negative thoughts and this affects how we feel (worse) and affects our behaviour (we want to withdraw and this makes us worse)If we can be more balanced about our thoughts then this can change how we feel (a bit better) and we behave in a bit more positive way and maybe increase our activity level which makes us feel better.

There is more to it than that of course but that is just the basics. I do wonder though when you say you want "proper therapy" whether CBT will be "enough for you" - you clearly have major issues stemming from your childhood experiences and CBT deals withthe present not the past, which is really the thing that needs to be uncovered. Really you need a good psychotherapist for this and you won't get that on the NHS. Even if you pay it is a long process and it really depends on how much you are ableto trust the therapist.

You seem to have had poor experiences of therapy and this has happened to me in the past and has made me anxious about therapy in general, although I know from friends that it can be really helpful if you can trust the therapist.

I suggest you see the NHS CBT person (you usually get 6 sessions) and see how it goes. I do wonder however if you are expecting rather too much from any therapy - there are no magic therapies or quick fixes, it's a long slog and can only alleviate our painful issues, not cure us.........IF ONLY!!

Hope you get some help from CBT and do ask the person to recommend some reading you can do yourself at home. I have a CBT book called "Mind over Mood" (it's on Amazon at abour £9.99 I think) and it'ds very readable and you can dip into it, rather thanread from cover to cover.

Hope things improve for you- best wishes.

[CrazyChristmasLady]

Thank you for your reply.

I'll have a look at that book I think.

You are right about CBT not being enough. I really don't think 6 sessions of something that deals with the here and now is going to scratch the surface. I am willing to give it a go but I don't see me getting what I want or need out of it.