Can anyone come and talk to me about their experience with ADs? been diagnosed and prescribed for the first time today and very worried.

[BarbieLovesKen]

Hi all,

Title says it all really, I've been feeling awful for some time now, probably right back to my teens when I think about it but I had a somewhat "troubled" childhood anyway so who knows. Its escalated and been so much worse since the birth of my dd (now 4.5) where, looking back I am 100% sure I had PND. I tried desperately to fight it myself and didnt seek any help. I suppose I've never been the same since.

Ive had a bad year, miscarraige, finding out dh had an affair when I was pregnant with my now ds, getting in touch with my estranged, abusive, horrible father for the first time in over 20 years which didnt go well and discovering, yes, he is still an absolute bastard, bullied severely at work for being pregnant, financial difficulties due to recession, terrible marital problems during pregnancy following affair - dh being another horrible bastard.

Things actually perked up when I had ds. He made me feel better but, I suppose, only comparable to how I was feeling before - which was shit so still not acceptable or normal. I suffer from terrible anxiety, I worry about everything and my reaction to things is, I know, completely disproportionate to the incident etc.. I cant read the papers, watch the news - I worry and get upset about the world.

I have good weeks and bad weeks, so I kept putting the Doctors off. Id have a bad few days and decide I was going but then would feel fine and decide I didnt need to, but its just a cycle. My mother spoke to me this morning, explaining that she is worried, as is dh about my behaviour and thinks I am depressed. I was unsure if it was just the normal stress of the last year making me down yet, I suppose my sensible mind knew things arent right.

Im usually considered very strong, keep thoughts to myself and am somewhat overachiever but I cried and told her some of how Im really feeling and she took matters out of my hands, gave me the 60euro to go to Docs, made the appointment and rang DH to go with me while she bundled kids into car for a picnic/ day out in the park.

I felt so sick, embarrased and nervous going in. I hate putting people out and creating a fuss. I told Doc some of how I was feeling and have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder (also possible PND as ds is 6 months but apparantly more likely that depressive disorder was triggered by birth or PND was left untreated from dd) and general anxiety disorder. She insisted I start taking lexapro immediately and have to come back in 3 weeks for a review.

Now Im terrified, I have problems with food/ eating/ weight and Ive been researching on the internet and looks like Im going to get massive, Im worried this will make my depression worse. also reality of exactly how serious this is has now hit, that this isnt a magic pill like an antibiotic, thats going to make me all better, the witdrawel symptoms/ side effects etc.. sound horrendous and leaflet that came with prescription warns that suicidial feelings etc may be heightened at the beginning of treatment, particulary for my age group. Im also worried that this is just masking the problem, that ill either be on these for life or come off and be fucked up again.

Im so sorry this is so long. Thank you for reading if you've managed to stay awake this long.

[SweetAlice]

Hey BarbieLovesKen.
I don't have any advice for you. I too have been wondering whether I am depressed or just not a very happy chatty person generaly. My kids are 4 and 5 and ever since I became a mum, I planned to go and talk with the doctor about the possibility that I might have depression. I never went, instead I have been taking St John's Wort (no effects), took on bike riding and yoga and just forcing myself to count my blessings every morning and smile even when I am sad or bored. I guess I fear the most that the doctor will confirm my depression and put me on medication that might do more harm than good. I don't know whether my denial is good or bad but it kept me going. I will eventually make it to the doctors, because I want to be a genuinely enthusiastic and happy person in front of the kids. Do you think any medication would do that?
I was wondering whether your doctor reccomended any cognitive behavioural therapy or counseling along with your medication. I think you have been through a lot lately and just talking with someone who would help you see that you deserve to be happy might help.

I wish you best of luck, and if you are not sure about the medication, don't take it. Talk to another doctor, ask for alternatives, share your concerns. Doctors can be wrong sometimes and you have to go with your instincts. Researchers are still in debate about the best way to beat depression so, you have to do your own research and seek more opinions.

[Lynli]

I have taken medication, though not the same as yours. The list of possible side effects is the same.

I always feel much better after about five weeks. I think they are a wonderful invention. They work better for some than others. It is only when you get better than you reaslise how ill you were.

I have never had to take them for long, and I have never had any trouble coming off off them.

A friend tried the same ones that I have and she felt worse. So I think you need to give them a try and see if they help you.

hope you feel better soon.

[kildare34]

Morning Barbielovesken(great name by the way!) No wonder you feel depressed/anxious, you have gone through the mill. Fair play to your Mother for getting you down to your GP and well done to you for going. It is the first step in you getting and feeling better, I promise!

I was on 10mg of Lexapro for general/health anxiety. I found Lexapro brilliant, I had virtually no side effects, but everybody is different.By the way my doc told me Lexapro is not very addictive. It took about 2 weeks for me to feel a bit more like myself. Also I went to a counsellor for 8 sessions and I found her a lifesaver.

So my advice to you is take the tablets, see how you get on, you may or may not experience a few side effects but they should pass. In the leaflet that is with the tablets it gives you the most common sideeffects and when you should contact your gp if there is a problem. I would also consider going to a counsellor because the tablets will balance you out but counselling/therapy will get to the heart of the problem iykwim!

Best of luck to you and remember there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I am currently slowly weaning myself off lexapro under my GP's instructions, as we both agreed I was ready to come off them. And so far so good, I feel well (touch wood)

Take care.

[lu9months]

I had no side effects on escitalopram and didnt put on weight - felt so much better and was so glad I had taken them. good luck!

[bunlove]

Hi BarbielovesKen. So sorry to hear about your awful year - no wonder you're feeling depressed.

I have been where you are and I only got my life back under control when I started to take the right ADs. Before this I was a mess for about 4 years.

They really have changed my life and while I understand your fears about side effects, what would you rather? Feeling this low or taking ADs and feeling better.

I have got over the stigma thing and I just want my life to be bearable.

If you read the side effects list for most drugs they read very badly.

It is of course your choice and there are different points of view to mine. Just thought I would put mine across in case it is useful to you.

I feel so much for you and wish you all the very best in getting your life back in which ever way works for you.

Don't forget, as others have said, counselling is also great too.