Parent's sayings you still remember

(85 Posts)
DeadRisingPies Wed 11-Apr-12 18:56:02

Mum: 'You'll think an elephant's kicked you one day' (still waiting)

Dad: 'You can't be pretty AND clever' (thanks, Dad)

"I want never gets"

HangingGarden Wed 11-Apr-12 19:03:17

"You'd laugh to see a pudding crawl

"Red shoes, no knickers

"Didn't know whether to sh*t shave or haircut

"Too clever for your own good

"Want some bread with that butter?

Mama1980 Fri 20-Apr-12 07:56:54

'dress to impress but be prepared to go down with the ship'
'if you can pinch a inch lose it' grin both my wonderful nan, she's the voice in my head

CornishKK Fri 20-Apr-12 08:02:47

"You smell like a whore's handbag". My Mum grin

ginmakesitallok Fri 20-Apr-12 08:03:51

"At least they are clean and paid for.."

SkinnyVanillaLatte Fri 20-Apr-12 08:04:27


ginmakesitallok Fri 20-Apr-12 08:04:36

Oh and when asked "Is that for me?", the answer was ALWAYS - "No it's for Catriona McGuire"

ithaka Fri 20-Apr-12 08:05:05

'Birds in their little nests agree' whenever me and sis were fighting. oooh, still annoying!

SkinnyVanillaLatte Fri 20-Apr-12 08:05:20

'Who's she? The cats daughter?"

Windandsand Sun 13-May-12 03:11:14

Beggars can't be choosers
You have to break them to eat them - about biscuits
Sunny jim - usually when cursing others driving
He's a bit light on his loafers - anyone they thought was gay, however they and their friends very tolerant , much more than people now I think, natuarally t

Windandsand Sun 13-May-12 03:13:01

Oops! Tolerant ..

SucksToBeMe Sun 13-May-12 03:18:48

Love few

WMDinthekitchen Sun 13-May-12 04:44:53

Mother - 'If you can't fight, wear a big hat.'
Father - ' No-one can make a million £ without being dishonest.'
Father - 'Stop your giggling, you'll be crying in a minute.'

KatOD Sun 13-May-12 05:06:04

"It'll be better before you're married" (grandad). Not massively comforting when you're 7 and have fallen over!

AntsMarching Sun 13-May-12 06:32:51

A clean car is a happy car (or insert whatever needed cleaning, e.g. Hair, teeth, clothes, room)

"look at the boat on that" (whenever one of us had a grumpy face)
"up there for thinking, down there for dancing, common sense will prevail"
"she's at the chip shop" (whenever we asked where mum had gone - one time he said this on an aeroplane)

MarieFromStMoritz Sun 13-May-12 06:48:30

He's a bit light on his loafers

What a lovely image grin. And not at all offensive. At least, I don't think it is.

ErnesttheBavarian Sun 13-May-12 07:03:39

You're like one o'clock half struck.

Let the dog see the rabbit.

You get what you're given. ( usually paired with I want never gets).

Hold your horses.

Mil/fil - up here for thinking, down there for dancing (wtf?)
Cough up chicken.

The atter 2 are from my weird Kent in laws. The 1st 4 from my learly saner nrth east family.

ErnesttheBavarian Sun 13-May-12 07:08:11

Just read spare time also got the up here for thinking one. You from kent?

Oyrs always used to say who's she the cat's mther ( nt daughter) it was really annoying, constanty getting told off for saying she. Why??

One my mum used to mutter when driving, which i do now is 'Gan canny, bonny lad' I've lost much of may accent, but there it pops back out, oh and frequently yelling the kids to pull their finger out/ howay man, depending....

lovebunny Sun 13-May-12 07:11:10

mum: i'll give you something to cry about

gran: cough it up it might be a piano

Tigresswoods Sun 13-May-12 07:17:43

"Every time you cry a little fairy dies"


Ernest no, West London, but dad is Irish.
I just remembered one from my grandad though:
"laugh and the world laughs with you, cry, and you cry alone"

Homebird8 Sun 13-May-12 07:29:27

You're pots fer rags you are!

Hay's what horses eat.

This and better may do, this and worse'll never!

"look after the pennies, the pounds'll look after themselves"

Elkieb Sun 13-May-12 11:04:28

If you ever asked where someone had gone the answer was 'Australia for chips' ??!
My mum would shout 'enjoy your trip', if you fell over. smile.

insancerre Sun 13-May-12 11:11:49

My dad used to 'go see a man about a dog' every Sunday
He used to call my brother ' a tit in a trance'
He used to answer the phone with 'battersea dog's home'
He used to tell people to 'pull up a pew' and he always liked a 'nice cup of rosy-lee'

Growlithe Sun 13-May-12 11:16:47

My dad, when one of us hurt ourselves - 'It'll be a pig's foot in the morning'. confused

Windandsand Mon 14-May-12 09:59:16

Insancerre, my dad used to answer the phone with' battersea dogs home ' as well!! Is your dad a Londoner?

They also had a horror of being out of work and said they would rather starve than "beg off the state". My dad would employ ex prisoners as he said once they had done there time and shouldn't have to go any lower.

'drawing attention to her or himself" at anyone being emotional
'foreign muck" any dish of food not meat and two veg. They used to laugh though so I think it was an inside joke as they were always abroad...

crazybubbasmummy Sat 18-Aug-12 19:32:43

When hurting leg or finger it was "you've got another one" smile or "I'll have to cut it off then" confused

MelanieSminge Sat 18-Aug-12 19:35:06

my dad used to answer the phone with' battersea dogs home
hehehe me and bro used to do that, it drove our mother insane....

My hair's a mess? "You look like the wild woman of Borneo" (sp?)

My room's a mess? "Its like Bey Route in here"

All the lights on? "Its like Blackpool Illuminations in here"

big fan of the simile, my DM.

Oh and my Uncle has always, and still, answers all telephone calls with "Heaven, God speaking"

LadybirdLipstick Sat 18-Aug-12 19:45:10

Gnocchi - those were all familiar to me too!

It's Beirut btw (coz of the damage from the bombing).
No idea about the mad woman of Borneo though. Who was she?

LadybirdLipstick Sat 18-Aug-12 19:47:43

Oh, and as well as a cup of Rosie-Lee (tea), it was also called a cup of 'Char'. No idea why. Maybe Char-lie = tea?

There was quite a bit of rhyming slang in our house anyway!

Anyone else for 'better out than in' when choking?

I know the location, and the reference, just had no idea on spelling (thanks, corrects self)


MrsKwazii Sat 18-Aug-12 19:50:04

"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." confused

MelanieSminge Sat 18-Aug-12 19:51:21

'you look as though you have been dragged through a hedge backwards'

glammanana Sat 18-Aug-12 19:52:41

If I ever fell over and hurt my knee's or bled anywhere mum would says "don't worry it will be a pigs foot in the morning" ?? why !!!

EyesDoMoreThanSee Sat 18-Aug-12 19:52:44

eat it or leave it but DON'T play with it

better out than in

like it or lump it

JemimaPuddle Sat 18-Aug-12 19:53:10

When asking dad where mum has gone ( no matter where it was) it was always either "Timbucktoo" or "There and back to see how far it is!"
If my dad ever went anywhere it was "to see a man about a dog"

Rhubarb78 Sat 18-Aug-12 19:54:07

'too much laughing ends in crying' and 'do your best, saints can't do more' the latter always made me feel better about exams!

sausagewallet Sat 18-Aug-12 19:54:53

MrsKwazii my mum used to say that! And "don't pick your nose or your face will cave in"

Rhubarb78 Sat 18-Aug-12 19:55:44

My dad always used to 'see a man about a dog' too, I always got excited thinking we were getting a dog.

lalaloopylou Sat 18-Aug-12 19:57:29

My house my rules
You look like Sally gone for a living (when dressing up a young child)
The Wind will change and youll be stuck like that
Iffits- as in when we asked what's for dinner 'if its there you can have it'
Born in a barn(when not closing door)
You smell like the perfume counter at boots
Rabbit food=salad

thekidsarealright Sat 18-Aug-12 20:00:30

"It's time to fish or cut bait." (make your choice - my lovely Nan)

Whenever we asked my Mum what was for dinner she would say "bread and pull it."

gazzalw Sat 18-Aug-12 20:01:56

You're not as green as you are cabbage looking!

5madthings Sat 18-Aug-12 20:07:57

"stop sea sawing snot" whenever we sniffed!

and "i am going to bang your heads together" when my sister and were bickering.

my dad still answers the phone with "hello, this is the mad house, duty looney speaking" or " this is the fridge speaking, the answer machine is on holiday" hmm

ifancyashandy Sat 18-Aug-12 20:08:25

'What's for dinner mum?' 'Shit with sugar on'.

'Where's my (whatever)?' ' Up my arse'

She was a Head Teacher.....


Don't get pregnant.
You'll go to hell in a hand bucket.
I'm not your friend... I'm your mother.

LoosingBattle Sat 18-Aug-12 20:08:49

"I'll be there in two shakes of a dead lambs tail"

"It is better to be a little patient on the road than a little patient in the hospital" (from my gran after passing my driving test)

Chubfuddler Sat 18-Aug-12 20:14:06

My mothers best, cribbed from her Plymouth driving instructor and now repeated from me when another driver is being hesitant about a gap "you could get the Ark Royal through there"

My nan had many, many sayings. Many songs too. Lots were rude and not really appropriate for children. Didn't stop her:

A blind man would be glad to see you (in response to " do I look ok")
No one looks at the mantle when they're stoking the fire (sex)
Takes a lean dog for a long hunt
If wishes were horses all beggars would ride
All fur coat and no knickers

Chubfuddler Sat 18-Aug-12 20:15:13

Perfume = you smell like a tarts boudoir

'll buy you two in case one makes you sick It took me years to realise Mum was being sarcastic!

Y is a crooked letter than can't be fixed

Loads from above but particularly I want never gets, and ^"She's" the cats mother ^were said with regularity.

It's a man place to try it, and a womens place to deny it- once and once only ! Said often when I was a teenager and going on a date!

Rhubarb78 Sat 18-Aug-12 20:31:09

We got 'pigs bum and cabbage' in answer to what's for dinner

SoggySummer Sat 18-Aug-12 20:40:08

Its like Blackpool illuminations in here
Is that a skirt or a pelmet?
Were you born in a barn?
This is a house not a hotel

chocolatetester1 Sat 18-Aug-12 20:43:05

"I think you'll find I'm right."

"it's not who's right, it's who's left" - my granny at any hint of road rage. I use this a lot now.

mummmsy Sat 18-Aug-12 20:52:20

omg Gnocchi was yer ma, my ma? and more to the point, are you from Northern Ireland? they strike me as NIrish sayings?!

mummmsy Sat 18-Aug-12 20:53:35

what's for dinner? Stewed bugs and onions

No really, what's for dinner? Bee's knees and spider's elbows

cyanarasamba Sat 18-Aug-12 20:56:03

You'd break Tonka toys you would.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 18-Aug-12 20:56:50

If the wind changes, you will stick like that!

Don't pick your nose your head will cave in/your eyes will fall out!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 18-Aug-12 20:58:38

Snot and bogey pie for tea! confused

lop37 Sat 18-Aug-12 20:59:13

"Would you like a knuckle sandwich???"( my Dad, trying to be funny).
"All fur coat and no knickers".
"Do as I say, not as I do".
"Don`t come crying to me if you break your neck.."
In response to "whats for dinner.."Poo pie!!"
In response to "MUMMMM"..Ive run off with the postman/ milk man....!!

onedev Sat 18-Aug-12 21:00:53

Use your head, your feet are for dancing.

All fur coat and no knickers
I'd rather be late in this life than early in the next (when other drivers go too fast)
If you were meant to have holes in your ears you would have been born with them (ear piercings)
Nice girls don't wear black underwear

onehitwonder Sat 18-Aug-12 21:05:26

Put the wood in the hole (shut the door) - DH's grandad
For a window you make a great door - My mum and dad when we were stood in front of the telly
Can you whistle? - Mum and Dad again, when my or my sister were singing
It's looking a bit dark over will's mums - Dark clouds in the distance

If we had any eggs, we could have ham and eggs ... if we had any ham.

Lagartijadoesthecrazyshake Sat 18-Aug-12 21:09:15

If wishes were horses beggars would ride
Do I look like I'm made of money (I used to have visions of my DM made up of 2p coins)
You daft wee article.
You're a cushy wee pet (talking about the dog)
Were you born in a barn?
I want doesn't get...Please may I...
Little things please little minds.

Lagartijadoesthecrazyshake Sat 18-Aug-12 21:09:53

Don't get your knickers in a twist.

madnortherner Sat 18-Aug-12 21:12:58

Loving these. My parents are southerners and had no useful sayings. Although, being brought up in the north, I heard some great ones growing up.

"You make a better door than a window" (for standing in someone's way)
"I want never gets" (I use this all the time with my 2 DSs now)
"Were you born in a field?" (for not shutting the door)

There must've been more <racks brain>.

Musomathsci Sat 18-Aug-12 21:25:29

There ain't many that size much bigger (referring to an unusually large vegetable!)
Reckons he's body everyself (referring to someone a bit big-headed)
Smart as a carrot half-scraped
Dirty cup of tea (with a dollop of clotted cream in it)
You could shave a dead mouse without waking it (referring to a sharp knife)
Cat's got your tongue (child not speaking)

BitchyHen Sat 18-Aug-12 21:27:33

My Great-Grandad used to have loads of sayings,
When it was my bedtime he would say up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire, and you'll be asleep in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
If I did anything silly he called me daft ha'porth of daft as a brush.

My Nan always says I can't get up I've got a bone in my leg.

Mum always used to say do you think money grows on trees? - to which the answer was yes if its made of paper.

littlemefi Sat 18-Aug-12 21:28:03

"many a mickle makes a muckle".... "if you fall off that wall and break your legs, don't come running to me"...."you make a better door than a window", if we were stood in front of the telly

1944girl Sat 18-Aug-12 21:30:26

I am a geordie born and bred.Alot of local sayings have died out now but I can remember a few from my parents and rellies.
My granda when talking about anyone who was not fussy about their personal hygiene;''Never had a wash since the midwife last bathed him/her''
My uncle when referring to someone who thought they were better than anyone else''He/she goes to the toilet'' or ''Their shite stinks just like ours''.
My dad was a great one for telling you to ''Get your finger out'' meaning get on with the job.
Minds gone blank but I will remember some more.

Mama1980 Sat 18-Aug-12 21:32:52

After one of us saying pardon me after a burp/fart etc my nan would always turn round and say 'they don't pardon pigs they shoot them' hmm and before any big day or event she would say 'dont be nervous just dress to impress and be prepared to go down with the ship' another hmm but I still say it to myself to this day whenever I have a meeting or something to go to.

thixotropic Sat 18-Aug-12 21:38:52

Neither use nor ornament

For a lazy person

PigeonPie Sat 18-Aug-12 21:39:56

If we asked my Ma what she was doing she'd say 'White-washing a pink elephant'.

Grannie would say never tell Friday night's dream on a Saturday or it'll come true. I know it's only a tale, but I still can't!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sat 18-Aug-12 21:40:10

Pardon me for being so rude.
It was not me, it was my food.
It just came up to say hello,
And now it's gone back down below!

HSMM Sat 18-Aug-12 21:47:50

All joints on the table to be carved (elbows)

thewhistler Sat 18-Aug-12 21:50:13

Manny a mickle maks a muckle.

I'm hearin' but I'm no heedin'.

You have to eat a peck of dirt before you die.

What's the magic word?

It'll be better in the morning.

Better door than window/ do you live in a barn/put wood int 'ole.

crypes Sat 18-Aug-12 21:54:30

'look after the pennies and their look.after the pounds' usually came before a story by my dad about someone who actually collected coppers under their bed and died a millionaire.

zaphod Sat 18-Aug-12 21:56:52

Be a little LADY

'Shit and sugar' for dinner
'Up-a-shade-aider' if you tripped confused
'Maybe you'll appreciate me when I'm dead'.When ranting about something

Limelight Sat 18-Aug-12 22:20:31

My Grandma rather than my DM but 'if you eat brown eggs your hair will stay brown!'

My other Grandma used to call me 'Grandma's little bit of silk'.

My Grandpa used to describe untrustworthy people as 'twicers' - I love that word!

My grandfather:
'The Lord be prais-ed
My belly is rais-ed
Three inches above the table.'
My grandmother did not approve.

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