Have you ever made a DC drop an activity they enjoy?

[marialuisa]

And not for financial reasons?

DD plays 3 musical instruments, which combined with everything else is too many. We have talked about which to drop but she can't make the choice herself and gets upset just thinking about it (she's 9) so I'm starting to feel that we need to make the decision for her.

Has anyone "made" their child give up something, particularly something they enjoy and is part of their identity? What were the results?

Thanks

[mummytime]

No!
We may have to rethink DD next year at senior school, but I suspect it'll be Guides we'll drop. They hae sometimes not been able to do things because of prior commitment.

However which instruments? Sorry to be nosy. But can she do any mainly in school, how much practice does she do? Can she drop something else rather than an instrument.
I just worry because my SIL got my niece to drop Piano, this was partly (although she didn't admit it) SIL wanted to get rid of Piano when they moved.

[marialuisa]

She already does 1 mainly in school and could do more of another in school but no real need to do so. The 3rd can't go to school (instrument not portable but not a piano) and would be the one we would choose to drop (issues with the teacher, rare instrument and nearest alternative teacher is 2 hours away!).

She is G4+ level on 2 of the instruments and G2+ on another. She should be doing a lot more practice than she is , barely manages 15 mins a day on each with longer blocks at weekends. Not keen on dropping something other than an instrument as she is only 9 and I think needs a wider range of interests, so keen for her to carry on with after school hockey and athletics depending on the season. She accepted giving up Brownies last term as well although she did get riding lessons in return! Part of the problem is we both work f/t and she doesn't get in until late.

[ReneRusso]

I subtley encouraged my children to give up ballet, because I hated taking them, but I waited until they actually said they wanted to quit. With music, I have stopped my DD doing singing lessons because she would miss some school time, and she already misses some lessons due to extra learning support. She sometimes complains about it, but she does plenty of other activities, it's not the end of the world.
I think 3 is a lot of instruments at age 9. Get rid of the non-transportable one. She can always take it up again when she's older. Once you can read music, it is relatively easy to learn an instrument later in childhood or adulthood.
Things like Brownies and Guides are great because it's just fun, no pressure, no practice to be done.

[islandofsodor]

Yes!

I made dd then aged 7 give up Gymbobs becasue she ws doing 3 hours of Stagecoach on a Saturday including 1 to one exam preparation plus she was asked to dance in a touring professional show which involved 1 extra hour rehearsal, she also was doing 45 mins of ballet after school, recorder club at lunchtime and piano with me.

She only started Gymbobs in the first place becasue it was the ONLY activity ds did and she asked to tag along.

She adores her dance and drama and is toally obsessed by it whereas she found gymbobs fun and enjoyable but didn't think about it from one week to the next.

[marialuisa]

Hmmm DD does love the music and whilst not sure i'd say she was obsessed she's clearly very into it and has actually said "you don't understand, it's part of me, I'm X and I play the [instrument]".

Re-reading that, maybe she has a dramatic streak...!

[maggiethecat]

Dd does ballet, tap, swimming and violin and I am desperate for her to drop something (preferably one of the dance) but she will not agree altho she does grumble about the hassle of swimming - getting changed etc but I've told her that she must continue that until she is competent.
Will put pressure on one of the dance soon tho.

[Homebird8]

Why not drop the lessons on the non-portable instrument but allow her to play at home whenever she wants. Perhaps this could be a compromise which would allow her to still identify herself with it and pick it up again formally later. After all there are plenty of professional musicians who claim to be self taught and she will still be getting all the musical teaching and influence from the other instruments.