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Extra-curricular activities

activity just for one sibling when others want to do it too?

5 replies

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 18/04/2015 09:45

Just wondering how others handle this...

DS1 (7) started Taikwando 6 weeks ago and loves it. DD (9) wants to start too. It was ds1 who nagged to be allowed to do it and he wanted something just he did (he and dd are lumped together a lit as we live in a small community, and they look like twins though they are 24 months apart).

Would you let another sibling "muscle in" ... I'd like her to do a martial art but I understand ds1 wanting something just for him...

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OutragedFromLeeds · 18/04/2015 11:57

We had almost this exact situation. We didn't let the older one do the activity. Whether this was 'right' or not I don't know.

We came to this decision mainly because she is very able and very competitive and would inevitably have been significantly better at the activity and then rubbed it in DS's face. If she were a bit kinder to DS we may have let her do the activity too.

I did offer her other, similar activities at other places, but she didn't want to do them.

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MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 18/04/2015 12:55

Thanks outraged am also thinking we won't let her... Though might look for a self defence course or a different martial art (it's hard because we live rurally so the logistics get complicated, meaning it's often tempting to have them do activities through the same clubs etc. even when not actually in the same group)... Both kids are sporty and I'mnot sure which would outshine the other - they are pretty well matched physically in terms of size, strength and flexibility - pretty much everything physical atm tbh... But ds1 would no longer have "his" thing if dd did it too...

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Wafflenose · 18/04/2015 15:49

Leave it a while - maybe she will go off the idea soon?

I have two DDs, 2.5 years apart. The older one is quite a bit bigger, stronger and faster than the little one, and very able academically and musically. We wanted the little one to have something just for herself, so she is learning the cello. It was really hard to keep the big one away from it, but we had to because she would have overtaken her little sister and upset her. We just had to be firm about it and tell her she does enough already. Little is now doing well at cello, and big one seems to respect her for it. Little one is asking to do flute as well - big sister's instrument - and I have said no!

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MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 18/04/2015 16:33

My big 2 bicker but are actually really supportive of each other when it comes to the crunch, and often only want to do things (especially where there will be nobody they know) together ... But still dd has always had "her" things (music and drama) which she's done without ds1 due to ds1 being too young or dd having a friend going along... This is the first time DS1 has wanted something totally separate (they play on separate football teams but through the same club so it's never been "ds1's" thing - and DS2 is itching to start as soon as he hits the minimum age...

DD has recently started a 5 week sewing machine for kids course on Saturdays (Hmm but she's wanted a sewing machine for ages) so atm it's easy to say she's doing enough for now and review after this course finishes.

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sunnydayinmay · 21/04/2015 19:44

Mine two get on, but I love the fact that they have settled on different clubs. Both dabble in each other's hobby that they can play together, but it is better for both that they have time to shine and make friends without any competition from home.

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