School being really horrible about dds dancing

(88 Posts)
Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 14:38:45

My dd is 11 and goes to dancing twice a week.
Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesdays are really hard as she goes to guides straight after do not home until 8.45.
I'm not pushy and she loves what she does. Dies the odd festival in groups and takes her exams.
The school know this as she gets lots of homework and I've had to tell then Tuesdays are difficult.
So this term they are rehearsing for the y6 play.
Dd has a small non speaking part (chorus really)
They scheduled the rehearsal for Tuesdays 3-5 so I e mailed to say I will have to get her at 4.30. It seems this has really annoyed them.
I had a call saying I had to prioritise the school and I said as I pay a lot for dance she needs to attend class.
I feel I'm compromising by leaving her there until 4.30 then rushing her to dancing while she eats in the car.
The teacher has made a couple if remarks to dd about her not going for the full time which has upset her.
So today we get another e mail to say there are now two rehearsal days the other is a Wednesday hmm so she will need to be picked up even earlier which will go down like a lead balloon.
I feel as if they think her dancing is trivial and should always take second place. I wonder if they would feel the same if she was playing for a sports team or having a piano lesson?
Anyone have any experience if this?
I've had to e mail again to say Wednesday is no good either. I feel like a right pain in the arse.

M25Meltdown Thu 11-Apr-13 14:41:51

The clue is there for you.

Yr6, ignore them it will all be over in July. In our old school the play was a sop to the kids, for turning them into a SATS sausage factory.

TeamEdward Thu 11-Apr-13 14:44:31

The rehearsal for the play are extra-curricular, and therefore not obligatory. Tell the school to get stuffed.

TheRealFellatio Thu 11-Apr-13 14:47:02

I would be inclined to say that as dancing and guides are prior commitments that she enjoys and that you have had to pay for, and as she has only a minor role in the school production you will be continuing to prioritise her regular commitments and you are sorry but that's just the way it is. So long as the main performers get all the rehearsal they need I'm sure they will manage well enough if one or two of the chorus line are not quite a up to speed as they should be. It's not like there is an exam at the end of it.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 14:48:09

Yes the sats have been rather ahem.....obsessive.
Shall I just e mail "get stuffed school" ha ha
I just resent being made to feel like a "dance mom" cos I'm just not.

Morgause Thu 11-Apr-13 14:48:46

Why does she have a part at all if rehearsals are inconvenient? Surely better to withdraw her from the play.

Having said that I always put school activities ahead of any other hobbies, training ds for the real world when work has to come first.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 14:50:46

felatio I did think that as dd has done lots of other plays with much more demand ie lines to learn or dances, that she wil certainly cope with a small part in a school production but I didn't want too ok more pushy than they already seem to think

PandaNot Thu 11-Apr-13 14:52:03

It's not clear. Are all the Y6 pupils expected to stay behind or is this something she has volunteered for? If it is something she chose to do then you should have made it clear to her that she couldn't do it on certain days. If it is something she is expected to do with all the other Y6 pupils then they can't make her do it after school and dancing should take priority. They should be practicing during school time.

I've had similar 'discussions' with school about ds dancing and school things clashing. They have been more understanding though as he is officially 'G&T' (their words, not mine!) for dance so are generally ok about him being released for dance stuff.

Startail Thu 11-Apr-13 14:52:51

I'd tell the school to lump it.

There wasn't a single evening our school could have done an after school rehearsal and DCs not say sorry, music, Guides, swimming etc.

Only Drama club have ever issued a 3line whip and they stated the weekend they wanted for final rehearsal when you signed up.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 14:53:08

She wants to be part of it though as they are all involved.
And being in a school at us not "education" so school work not suffering.
Would you really put this first when you are paying nearly 200 a term for dance lessons that your child loves?
Wow

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 14:56:44

panda dd is very good and her brother is a pro ballet dancer and the school know this as she's been in local press productions etc.

They did know about Tuesdays as there were issues with homework and extra sats lessons.

The whole school are involved she didn't ask for a part she was given it.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 14:59:18

morgause isn't training for the real world also about learning about commitment and compromise?

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 14:59:43

panda dd is very good and her brother is a pro ballet dancer and the school know this as she's been in local press productions etc.

They did know about Tuesdays as there were issues with homework and extra sats lessons.

The whole school are involved she didn't ask for a part she was given it.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 15:00:07

Sorry I have no idea why that posted twice

PandaNot Thu 11-Apr-13 15:01:03

In that case I'd be telling school that she was doing the dancing, not the staying extra at school. They can then decide what to do about her part but it sounds like she wouldn't have too many problems learning it anyway! School should really be more undertanding and I suspect they would if it was a boy going to a football academy for instance. We're very lucky with our school.

morgause I am baffled by your 'putting work first' comments - I'm not a slave, and regularly work flexibly / take leave in order to do hobbies and fun stuff.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 15:05:40

Yes travelling I also can't work late on dds dance nights and my employers are fine about it.

MaureenMLove Thu 11-Apr-13 15:12:17

Is it a drama school? If not, why in god's name do yr6 need to rehearse after school for their end of term show? What are they doing in school time, once the SATs are over?

It's going to be a long and very dull last term for those poor kids!

PandaNot Thu 11-Apr-13 15:12:41

morgause for some children dancing, and other outside school commitments, will be their work eventually. I'm very glad that for my children there is more to life than school.

coreny Thu 11-Apr-13 15:15:44

that's a really strange attitude for the school to have about rehearsals (unless as Maureen suggests it's a drama school).

I would email them and state that dd will not be able to attend rehearsals on xxx dates due to prior commitments.

Whether it's due to dancing or not is irrelevant really - none of their business.
There must be other children doing sports etc that can't attend.

What Maureen said.

DontSHOUTTTTTT Thu 11-Apr-13 15:21:25

The school sound unreasonable. It would be. Different if your DD had signed up for the show.

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 15:25:19

No it's an ordinary school. They have been strange about it before when I said she can't manage homework on Tuesday as well as after-school Sats practice. They suggested she stopped dancing In order to do the homework

coreny Thu 11-Apr-13 15:31:32

after school SATS practice...did the make them stay at school to do SATS practice? shock

Ledkr Thu 11-Apr-13 15:40:57

Yes for extra maths. This despite me asking for some help with her maths for years sad I had a meeting with the head and suggested if he can afford it she should vary on with extra lessons after sats. Strangely they can't afford that.
Very academic and sought after school (i wonder why) that just happens to be my nearest.

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