Inappropriate dance moves and music.

[attillasnemesis]

My 13 year old daughter has been dancing for 5 years. Her class are currently working on a dance that I am not comfortable with and I want to know if I am being an overprotective mum who will not let her little girl grow up or I am right to have misgivings. The song is 'It's Raining Men' by the Weather Girls. I know this is a fun song but it implies that they want a man for sex, it is not a cute song about wanting a boyfriend. Some of the dance moves were also a bit too provocative and the girls have asked for them to be changed as they do not feel comfortable doing them. The dance teacher has also told them to flirt with the audience when they are performing this routine. Most of the girls in this class are 12/13 years old. I do not want to approach the dance teacher about this as she does not like anyone questioning her teaching and I do not want to make a fool of myself if I am being so out of touch with current standards. Help!

[Jellykitten1]

I agree that the song choice is a little bit . At first I thought "it's just a happy-ish old song, no biggie with that" but then, actually, as I think about it, what should 12-13yo really know about it raining men?! If it was raining mobile phones, or Creme Eggs, or makeup, then great. but men?! It's hard to interpret that in a way that isn't sleazy for anyone under 18. When Geri did it, the video had a sporty Fame feel, is that what the dance teacher is aiming for maybe? If so she would have been better to just do the number from Fame perhaps hey

I think you are justified in having a conversation about it with her. I wouldn't stand for any "how dare you question my teaching" crap. I would say "nobody's questioning your teaching, but I am questioning your judgement on what is appropriate for 12-13 yo". It would be helpful if you could name some of the other mums who agree that the subject matter isn't appropriate along with any bump'n'grind moves.

If she says she doesn't expect to have to court opinions before choosing suitable material for her class, I would say "that's your perogative but then you must expect opinions to come afterwards especially when the subject matter is based on sex no matter how it's been dressed up in a spangly leotard and legwarmers".

She should be told when it's gone off track every now and then. As long as you keep your cool it should be fine. Don't forget the compliment sandwich "Ms X, you know (DD) has a fantastic time learning with you and her dancing has really improved over X months. However I do have some concerns over the latest number you have chosen for the girls. (etc). However she does really enjoy it here."

GL!

[Jellykitten1]

• by makeup I mean lipgloss not,y'know, full on slap!

[whistleahappytune]

OP I too would have concerns, and I think Jelly has offered an excellent approach. I'm not a prude, or overprotective, but I think it's just not on to sexualise children, have them prance about to a song about sex and "flirt" with the audience. There is enough pressure on these young girls (who are still in many ways, children) to grow up too fast, to be "sexy", thin, pretty, cool etc.

Actually the more I think about it, the worse I think the choice is. I have really enjoyed the song, and have had many fun times belting it out with my girlfriends. But I'm a grown woman. What was the teacher thinking? Also it's an old song. Aren't there other, better, more contemporary and more age-appropriate (even if they are annoying) songs to dance to?

[morethanpotatoprints]

There would only be seniors and prefects dancing to this at my dd's dance school.

They did Man hunt and others from flash dance in their last show but the youngest doing these dances was 16.

[Sparklymommy]

Oh the debate on what is age appropriate in the dance world! I have just spent a week at a dance festival where the adjudicator was very particular about kids dancing to songs that are age appropriate. If the girls themselves are uncomfortable then perhaps they could speak to the teacher themselves? Maybe with a couple of parents to back them up. Our dance school did a number from Chicago a few years back and the teachers got a lot of comments about it being too sexy. The children dancing it were 10-12 and I didn't really see what the fuss was about to be honest but it offended some.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Sparkly

Ha Ha, if the song was from Chicago, I can see their point. "All That Jazz" is not for children, nor are any of the others.

What is wrong with letting little girls be just that? There are plenty of musical numbers that come from musicals containing children.

[attillasnemesis]

Thank you for all of your comments. You have given me the little push that I needed to go and speak to the teacher.

[Sparklymommy]

I know, now that my own daughter is 10 I can understand a bit better that she is still a baby really. That said, sometimes I think people overreact. My 10year old does a lyrical dance to "promise to try" by Madonna. I chose the music as it is written by Madonna to explain how she felt when her own mother was poorly and lost her fight with cancer. Someone said the adjudicator at a festival wouldn't like it because she didn't think children should be dealing with topics like death! I ignored them! My daughter has had the dance, the lyrics, explained to her and she is perplexed when told (repeatedly!!!) by adjudicators to "keep her smile throughout the dance". It's a sad song, a sad dance. She understands that and smiles when she is meant to! Utter madness! Lol