Mumsnet Talk

please dont.

Why time do you want them to turn up then? Better than being late I say...

haha! don't tell me that's because you are late?

i once sent a mate for a walk around the block, i was wiping the kitchen surfaces

i thought everyone KNEW it wasnt the done thing to be there on the dot

Why ?

I'm usually early

You would hate me.

That has to be the most random op ever ....

If your invite says 7 pm, but you actually want to have people arrive at 7.15 pm, put 7.15 pm on the invite...

Fgs woman... There is no please in some people.

So why not put a later time on invite ?

You did not send a friend round the block ! I refuse to believe someone would do that , weird .

Usual me too!

I'm usually early, so am the one to wipe the kitchen surfaces while the host freshes him/herself up.

Always half an hour late for parties, innit?

Even I know that, and I am stupidly punctual.

Why? If you don't want people to come at that time, invite them for a later time
I always think it's rather sad to have invited people to a party and then so many of them don't come when you ask them too, not because they are elsewhere but because they somehow think it's 'cool' to be late.
Indeed, it's rude, in my book.

I have a thing about being late, I just can't do it.

I hope she didn't come back , I would have buggered off to the pub .

Half hour late is fine too , but on time is on time , and that is ok .

Huh?

I don't understand. The time on the invitation is the time you want the guests to arrive. Why would you put the wrong time on your invites OP?

its not cool to be there clutching your Gallo at the door. smacks fo desperation. i would nEVER be there bang on - ew no very lower middle

Tequlia of COURSE she came back

god you lot are so demodé

I would be pissed off if I invited people for 7 and they all turned up late.

not LATE
just not there at the minute like bloody these two

TBH I rarely get invited to parties so I would be desperate to get at the wine.

I'm obviously very lower middle class then. although I wouldn't have a bottle of Gallo with me

However bringing gallo is only ok if she is going to drink it .

from her navel Teq

She's got quite a twinkle in her eye. I reckon they're having more fun than sad sacks who are deliberately late because they're scared of looking punctual or whatever the problem is.

You sent your friend away?! Ihad a friend turn up early for a party recently. I offered her a drink and enjoyed chatting to her before everyone else turned up. I just carried on with what I was doing. As she us my friend, she didn't mind.

You're not supposed to arrive at the time you've been invited to arrive at?

When did this start? Why did nobody tell me? What time are you supposed to arrive then? Is this a fixed time or does it differ between individuals? How do you know who wants you to arrive on time and who doesn't? and who wants you to arrive half an hour late and who wants you to arrive an hour late?

If I invite people for a certain time and they don't show up on time - I'd be pissed off. I hate lateness. If I started at 7 and nobody showed up by half past, I'd go bloody out!

Please don't tell me there's some weird latetoaparty etiquette and time stated doesn't mean time stated. People are hard enough to figure out as it is!

well she looked at me and said " oh god im early"

aka bang on time

Do you live in the 1950s?

Have pity on the literal- minded FGS.

My oldest mate always does this. She has a touch of Asperger's (as have I).

We are both lower middle, mind...

I always turn up a bit early to give the host a hand setting up, but there again my friends like me so it's never been a problem

Wow get the wine out and enjoy your party ffs, your lucky you have friends to invite if you tell tem to leave because they have the nerve to turn at the time you asked them too!
I would have left and not come back!

Blimey.....

So when does the party actually start? Why put 7pm if you don't want people at 7pm? It's senseless.

7 onwards. Obv a dinner party on time

I would be bang on time. In fact, I would arrive 10 minutes early then wait untill exactly the time I was invited to knock on the door.

I blame my upbringing, we were never allowed to be late for anything. Ever.

If you want people to arrive later invite them later. Easy!

Awww I love Howard and Hilda!

I would never turn up early to a party though. It's just as rude to be early as it is to be late. Nothing wrong with being on time though. If you don't want people to turn up on time, why bother stating a time in the first place?

I personally hate lateness, I find it rude, as if your time is worth more than mine!
I'm usually on time, if it means I end up helping out to set up that's fine and absolutely to be expected.
Chill, have a glass of decent wine, relax & enjoy hanging out with friends.

I get in a flap if I'm late I'm always the one helping t set the party up too, while the host finishes off getting ready.

Hecate After years of research, I reckon:

Invited to dinner: be 10-15mins late (this is because I'm never quite 100% ready on time when making dinner for people, and neither are many others; however, much later and they start to worry).

Average house party: be about an hour late unless the host is a really good friend and might need help setting up;

Parents' generation party: be on time;

Filthy squat rave: be about 3 hours late. At least.

I still screw up, frequently. There needs to be a Book.

yes - give the host a break. You always underestimate the time it takes.

id be 15 m late for drinks and on time - ish for a DP.

If I deign to have a party I get caterers in

But then I'm not démodé I'm Dubai noooooveav riche.

N'est pas

I have friends who always turn up 4 hours late for anything including their godchild's christening

I change their invites now. If I want them to come for dinner I invite them to lunch

I only ever invite people I like to any parties I have. The earlier they come the better. Fancy turning them away at the door.

Iseesmallpeople I have friends who always got lost on the way here. Don't know what happens. And we've lived in the same place for years.

My parties used to go on for days. Turn up anytime between Friday & Sunday.

I'm old now.

Had your friends already started drinking?

A dinner party - turn up on time.

A party party - turn up near the time, unless youa re the sort who likes to help out.

I like one or two people to arrive on time so that we are allowed to start on the party food/booze (my rule) but they have to be heppy to chop lemons or chat to me while I search for extra bottle openers.

HellothisisJoanie is in fact Margo Leadbetter. She needs to slip into a fresh kaftan before she'll let people crack into her Tio Pepe

I am always early, on time if I try really really hard not to0 be early. this is because I have anxiety and cant bear to be late. I hate being sat waiting for people to come as well, if I say seven that means I will be ready at 7, if you dont come till 7.30 I will be sat there getting anxious thinking you are not coming,

have none of the rest of you heard of "fashionably late"?

Dp and I got invited to a party full of youths a few years ago, when the host said it was starting (at the ridiculously late time of about 9pm I think). We were the only people there for about 2 hours. As we were leaving, at around 12am, hordes of people had started to arrive... .

Serves them right for inviting crumblies like us...

I hate unwritten rules.

i am a bit how literal you are to timings.

its NOT cool to be on time to a party

I imagined OP more as Abigail from Abigails party

I'm too busy enjoying my friends company to worry about being cool. You sound not fun.

My being cool boat sailed a long time ago

lol at usual

If you put 7.00pm on a party invitation, why are you not ready to receive them? I always am <pedant>

I never have work still to do in preparation and I'm always dressed and ready watching television with wine until the first arrives.

If people arrive at the time they are invited, you are BU to send them away or think that they are rude. You specify a time so that's the time they should arrive or a bit later.

Lower/middle!

Punctuality is the Courtesy of kings.

I dunno - depends what kind of do and how close friends you are with hosts. My best mate throws fab dinners but is never anywhere near ready and greets me with a list of things she needs help with. So I turn up on time. We crack into the prosecco, crack on, and it gets done. If it was champers and canapes at Joanie's I'd be fashionably late because she'd have it all under control I'll wager. Chin chin.

i love comments like that about friends.. you always get stuff like that on mn

* if you care about clothes you are vain
* if you ever dare criticise any mate then "some friend YOu are" is levelled at you
* if you want to not look like John and Norma Major in ankle flappers then you spend too long "trying to be cool"

all cardinal sins

My DP always wants us to be there a full five minutes before time stated. Makes me ill as I'm of the fifteen minutes after start time brigade.

but you still love it here Joanie

fecking do! ;)

Ummm... ok.

<backs out quietly and goes to join Howard and Hilda in the pub>

People are queued up outside my do's on time as I am SO cool

Surely it's more annoying if people turn up late, though. Then you're waiting around. I actually put the time I want people to arrive on an invite.

is there a rule on how many bottles of wine one should take to dinner parties? I notice in my Sussex Set it has risen to 3 as we are all raging piss-heads. My mother things this terribly non u and says just one very good bottle is proper.

lol at nod.
do you have a velvet rope fitted into your front door?

agree - one and beer

thinks even

No just a little man to check what people are wearing

I think it is rude to be late and expect every one else to create the atmosphere so you can waltz in when you fancy and make a grand entrance. It feels to me like you want someone else to do the more uncomfortable sober small talk at the start so you can rock up and enjoy the more frivolous "we've had a few drinks now and will party all night" vibe.

Being late smacks of "my time is more important than yours". I am meeting friends in the pub tonight, at 8pm. I will be there at 8pm and will invariably be sitting there on my own for half an hour. I won't go later though, in case someone else does happen to turn up at 8 and is then left on their own....

I'm not sure there's anything wrong with being lower middle class either. My parents worked damn hard so I could be lower middle class!

IM too busy to be on time.

Oh yes, one bottle of wine only is quaite correct.

(hoiks bosom).

And one bottle of tequila

10-30 mins late for drinks is fine and expected. Not so much for dinner.
Not so late that it is rude.
Just give the host time to pour herself a drinks and change out of her kaftan!

oh god.

We also routinely polish off entire bottles of Baileys.

Can the beer be Special Brew?

Always on time for everything - if it says 7 I turn up at 7. But then again I'm not insecure and so don't worry about whether people think I'm 'cool' or not. But then again none of friends would be bothered with all this [pmt emoticon]

I'm fully on board with tequila stubborn

finbar - you are a WISE WOMAN

One bottle! My friends are all drunks and bring 2 minimum

i would only be on time for a FINE FRIENDS party so i was first person there.

i would HATE it otherwise

anyway got to go - theres a party at 6.30 I am invited to. and i am still in slobwear

Bottle of nice wine.
Beer )- and I have seen men bring just enough for themselves to drink - shame on you!)
Pressie for the host - (Demis Roussos album for Abigail)

There are certain friends I would like there early but its never them who are

present as WELL finny?


oh larks I dont always do that

Go sparkle Joanie!

Yes indeed to pressie.

I'm off to wine bar with friend - we have table booked. If she's fashionably late I'll launch into the Black Tower without her...

sparkle and fin you are welcome at mine half an hour late

Depends on the culture as well - North European tend to be much more on time, Southern Europe a lot less so. I had friends in Ecuador who actually used to send three timings out for a dinner party depending on where their guests came from: North Europeans/Americans - the time they wanted them to arrive; Southern Europeans - 1-2 hours earlier; Ecuadorians - 2-3 hours earlier! Mind you, this is in a country that had a "national be on time day" to try and counter the loss to the economy brought about by the fact that everyone was always late

See, I break out in a rash at the thought of being late. However, at the same time I know I'm being a pain in the arse when I arrive on time to certain events.

My addiction to being on time always wins though.

I do agree with turning up to meet friends at a pub on time though. Even if you take a book it can be a pretty grim hollow feeling sitting there on your own and trying not to look at the door for half an hour.

Op sent her friend to walk round the block whilst she wiped the surfaces?
op thus has poor time management, and is not very nice to get supposed friends.

There's an etiquette topic?!

I must explore...

dont mind people being on -time

do mind folk who think they are fashionable late but are just taking the piss late. You are getting the scrapings of the cannellini bean hummus, losers.

The very worst, and women are the pricipal offenders, are the pitiful door knockers. tippity tap tap, like they are expecting me to open it with a violent WHOOSH and shout WHAT? at them.
I invited you to a party, just knock on the door like you mean it.
pissing door tipper tappers giving me the cross face before you have even come in

lower middle??? I don't think so. If I was sent to walk round the block I'd walk in the other direction and you wouldn't see me again.
Wiping surfaces? Bet your parties are a bleeding riot, Mrs. Bouquet.

Friend wAs considerate.

We are always late.

This is not usually intentional or in anyway related to trying to be cool, more the general disorganisation of our lives and trying to get out of the house.