Using cutlery the wrong way around

(53 Posts)
Chippychop Fri 17-Aug-12 22:46:49

I just cannot believe the number of people who out their forkmintheir right hand and knife in left ? It really annoys me.... And I'm left handed too

FermezLaBouche Fri 17-Aug-12 22:48:26

Nope - it's not "being left handed" - I am too. You will get people telling you it doesn't really matter, but IMO it really does!

Chippychop Sat 18-Aug-12 00:20:05

We've just come back from the same place as we holidayed in last year and on each occasion I noticed the extraordinary number who use the wrong way round. Bizarre

My sister is left handed and uses her cutlery the 'correct' way round. However my brother who is right handed, and my left handed step dad use theirs the 'wrong' way round.

mumnosGOLDisbest Sat 18-Aug-12 00:27:25

I'm right handed and I do this. it drives DH mad. Why does it matter? To me it feels weird guiding food to my mouth with my less co-ordinated left hand.

mumnosGOLDisbest Sat 18-Aug-12 00:28:43

I get more annoyed by people like DH who leave their knife on the table, only picking it up now and then to cut something.

chinley Sat 18-Aug-12 00:29:45

I'm right handed and I use my right hand for the fork.

Always have done, even though my parents had strict table manners instilled into us. As soon as I wasn't in front of them I'd revert to using them the 'wrong way around'.

Honestly, why is it a big deal?

chinley Sat 18-Aug-12 00:31:38

If you were eating with only a fork, it'd be in the right hand if you were right handed, surely. So why does that change when you introduce a knife?

IMO the rest of the world does it 'backwards', not me. grin

kickassangel Sat 18-Aug-12 00:32:17

Table manners are entirely a social construct. Move to a different area or country and your idea of good manners will be deemed odd, rude or wrong.

So, does it really matter?

NotMostPeople Sat 18-Aug-12 00:32:32

MumnosGold apparently that's the American way, to cut your food up put the knife down and use your fork ( facing up!) to eat. It makes me shudder.

DiscoDaisy Sat 18-Aug-12 00:33:27

All 5 of my DC use their cutlery the "wrong" way round even though only 2 of them are left handed.
I'm not bothered!
They're using cutlery to eat their food. Does it really matter which hand they use to hold their cutlery?
They find it easier to do it the way that they do!

Dh does this. drives me potty. what makes it worse is the way round he holds his cutlery means he doesnt saw the food with his knife, just sort of uses the cutlery to tear the food into bits to eat.

Makes for not great dining when we have meat on the plate.

Devora Sat 18-Aug-12 00:44:18

I've always done this. Why on earth does it matter?

mumnosGOLDisbest Sat 18-Aug-12 00:46:57

years ago they used to tie a lefties hand behind their back to make them hold a pencil in the 'right' hand. i dont think it matters.

notmost dh isnt english or american so maybe its a 'foreign thing'.

EmbroideredCloths Sat 18-Aug-12 00:52:19

In many eastern cultures it is considered inauspicious and bad mannered to eat with the left hand. Using cutlery the 'wrong' way is a compromise.

bacon Mon 27-Aug-12 23:24:15

My husband does this and drives me around the bend especially when I'm trying to teach my little ones to sit up and hold cutlery correctly. He was never corrected and his mum (too soft) got him used to it.

And this cas' one folk, shoulder on table thing ..arrhhh!!!

Yes, I think it does matter, especially when telling the boys how they should be eating.

GWenlockMaryLacey Mon 27-Aug-12 23:26:57

There is no wrong way round, it is whatever you feel comfortable and most able with. As a PP said, left handers used to have their left hands tied behind their backs, is that ok? No of course not, because we are not that stupid any more. Think on.

iklboo Tue 28-Aug-12 00:00:20

As long as they're using cutlery it doesn't bother me. DH & all his brothers use cutlery the 'other' way round. Nephew, though, will only eat food he can pick up. He's 13. If he's given anything else he moans or leaves it.

MyDogShitsMoney Tue 28-Aug-12 00:29:57

It's one of the last vestiges of the days when being left-handed was considered wrong.

It makes me both angry and sad that people don't realise that.

iklboo Tue 28-Aug-12 09:14:25

And I'd much rather they used the cutlery the other way round than eat with their mouth open & 'smack' their food like youngest BIL <shudder>.

Hulababy Tue 28-Aug-12 09:16:32

DD uses her cutlery the wrong way round. She's 10y. She's right handed but other than writing with her RH she does most other stuff with her left hand. Tried for ages to get her using them the "correct" way round to no avaial. Did some etiquette research and discovered there was no right/wrong way anyway so left her to it.

bureni Tue 28-Aug-12 09:19:44

Its a snobbery thing, does not matter one tiny bit what hand the knife or fork is in.

Silibilimili Tue 28-Aug-12 09:25:10

I do it the wrong way around. That's because I am Asian. And we use our left hand to hold tissue to wipe bum. Means right hand is the clean hand. Culture thing. blush

Silibilimili Tue 28-Aug-12 09:27:16

Sorry, did not explain properly. Pressed send too soon.
So right hand is used for eating adn for doing all the other 'good' tasks. So bringing the left up to feed mouth feels yucky.
IYSWIM (probably not) gringrin

MildredIsMyAlterEgo Tue 28-Aug-12 09:30:08

What on earth is the big deal?

OP you're left handed....I suggest you try and cure yourself by only using your right hand for writing in future.

If the extraordinary number of people at your oft frequented holiday destination offend you by eating in the manner they deem correct, perhaps try broadening your horizons and go on holiday to different place next year.

GWenlockMaryLacey Tue 28-Aug-12 20:55:01


Um, doesn't the bum cleaning thing also depend on which hand is best? I mean, I know it doesn't as I knew about the left hand thing already but don't you make a neater job of it if you use your good hand?

Sorry blush

Honestly, I don't think it matters nearly as much as just getting the food from the plate to your mouth in a neat and tidy way, then eating it politely, without making noises or having your mouth open etc. If everyone could just manage that, the world would be a pleasanter place! (Assuming there are no fundamental reasons why people have poor coordination etc of course!)

Not putting used cutlery onto the table surface would be nice too...

Gimblinginthewabe Tue 28-Aug-12 21:12:26

The only people I know who do it are Dsis and DH who are both right handed. I am a lefty and eat with them in the "proper" hands.

I don't see the problem with which hands people use and think that forcing them to use certain hands is akin to forcing lefties to use their right hand for writing in the victorian times!

BikeRunSki Tue 28-Aug-12 21:21:06

I eat the wrong way round. Drives my mother up the wall.

bluecarrot Tue 28-Aug-12 21:29:28

DDs dad (my ex) forces her to eat with cutlery the "right way round" (she is left handed) and even eat pizza with cutlery. Which is weird cause last time he was here he ate an extraordinary array of food with his fingers and I was rather grossed out (I cant touch "wet" food with bare hands...ewww) Plus he talks with food in his mouth.

I just tell her to use the cutlery when appropriate (NOT burgers and pizzas at home. pizzas in fancy restaurant maybe?) and to make sure her mouth is closed when theres food in there, and Ill be happy.

Meglet Tue 28-Aug-12 21:33:07

I'm right handed but have always used my cutlery the 'wrong way round'. It doesn't matter.

HSMM Tue 28-Aug-12 21:37:00

DD (13) is right handed and had always held her knife and fork in the wrong hands. I've tried to change her round, but she just can't do it. I leave her to it now.

sashh Fri 21-Sep-12 07:49:25

A couple of my friends do this, it drives me mad too, not because it looks wrong but because they are both right handed they don't actually cut food with their knife. The knife is used to hold the food which is then torn away with the fork.

SilverIce Fri 21-Sep-12 07:58:00

Doesn't bother me which hand the knife and fork are held in. Does bother me when the fork is held like a pencil.

lljkk Fri 21-Sep-12 08:10:26

I am foreign so do it different which drives poor DH's family slightly batty.
Of course I think they are being daft to care. They are also paranoid about elbows touching table.
DH family is strongly left-handed & he is the first lefty to eat the wrong way around, that was a major practical concession for his old-fashioned mum.

Half our household is LH, makes for some interesting seating problems, elbow-space dilemmas, during meals.

Pascha Fri 21-Sep-12 12:03:39

DH is left handed and uses his cutlery the 'wrong' way round. He doesn't care, I don't care and nobody we've ever eaten with has ever given one shiny shit. I don't understand how something so insignificant bothers anyone at all really.

TiggyD Mon 05-Nov-12 20:48:41

I believe it comes from the days before forks when you just had a knife and used it with your 'best' hand because you had more control. Nowadays I think it's more useful to have your fork in your good hand as you need your fork to do more complicated things than your knife.

To all those who have loved ones that can't cut with a knife in their left hand: They're just plain stupid. It's just moving it back and forwards while pushing down a bit. It's not rocket surgery.

squeezelouise400 Tue 18-Feb-14 16:37:22

I eat the wrong way round!

I have done since I started school at the age of 5, my mum did not teach me and my brother to eat with a knife and fork and I can remember my school friends, yes other 4 and 5 year olds teaching me how to eat with a knife and fork!!!

It sounds unbelievable but it's true, and you know I remember the kids were really patient with me too and they seemed to just accept the fact I did not know how to use the knife and fork. The kids did not question it, nor did they judge me they were amazing and to think that life is too short to hold a grudge against a person just because of they way they hold their cutlery just seems bizarre to me.

feathermucker Thu 13-Mar-14 00:30:38

Wow, this has to be the epitome of a 'first world problem'

Some of you seem like you actually think less of people who do it the 'wrong way' round!!

It. Really. Doesn't. Matter. At. All wink

PigletJohn Thu 13-Mar-14 00:38:38

Good manners are really important.

A person with good manners will not embarrass or criticise a person who uses cutlery differently.

HM the Q eats fish with two forks.

sami1985 Fri 14-Mar-14 22:56:21

I do it both ways, and don't really think about it. If I have tough meat I will use knife in my right hand, if not its usually the other way. I just puck them up how it feels comfortable. If the table is already laid I tend to use them however they are set.

I also put my elbows on the table (how uncouth!), not in posh restaurants tho!!

jaykay34 Thu 17-Jul-14 15:19:14

I eat "wrong handed" and apart from my partner who also does...have not met or seen anyone else do it.

I have had a lot of people notice I do it...accompanied with "ooooh are you left handed ?" type comments - but didn't realise it actually offended some people !

This thread had been an eye opener.

SuchSweetSorrow Thu 17-Jul-14 15:30:35

I'm ashamed to this this is something I definitely notice (spotted someone in Eastenders doing it the other day) and have judged in the past.

It really shouldn't matter what hand people use- I think I'll blame my parents for deep rooted cutlery issues

beccajoh Thu 17-Jul-14 15:33:34

DH and all his siblings eat with their cutlery the wrong way round. I find it endlessly fascinating, especially because their parents use cutlery the right way round.

Actually now I think about it, one of my SILs eats all her food by stabbing at it with a fork relentlessly until it sticks. That irritates me.

Slubberdegullion Thu 17-Jul-14 15:53:42

I notice. There are plenty of people who notice. Poor table manners which include holding or using your cutlery incorrectly will be observed and mentally noted upon by certain sections of British society, and yes, it is a class thing.

Is there a prize for a multiple-zombie thread? grin

QuintessentiallyQS Thu 17-Jul-14 16:00:39

I dont care how other people hold their knives and forks, or whether they dip bread in soup, or not. Spoon peas into their mouths, use the butter knife with cheese, or the fish fork with their whatsits.

I only care how my children use their cutlery, and that is the "proper way", and most definitely not grabbing the porkchop with both hands and suck it off the bone! Yet, if they ever dare comment how other children use the cutlery or grab food out of serving bowls with their hands, I ask them to stop being rude as we dont comment on what others do. Or, I rather shoot them "a look" that says it all, and they freeze into submission and say no more about other kid grabbing a handful of pasta out of the serving bowl. shock

Quite frankly, weird thing to get upset about.

It's not a LAW is it? We are free to choose what suits us?

I wish I had such trivial things to get wound up about.

Peppa87 Sat 30-Aug-14 09:03:34

Who REALLY cares? I use mine the 'wrong' way around, i really struggle otherwise for some unknown reason! I will never understand why anyone would be bothered by it hmm

Sicaq Sat 30-Aug-14 09:06:49

Eh? There is a "right"and a "wrong" way to use a knife and fork?!I must be terribly uncouth; I had no idea.

Wonder if I have inadvertently disgraced myself on numerous occasions ...

Pipbin Sat 30-Aug-14 09:11:59

Who are all these people who use their knives and forks in the wrong hands?
I know it doesn't matter, I know it doesn't make a difference, but it still makes me itch.

Hakluyt Sat 30-Aug-14 09:14:41

No problem with the "wrong" hands.

But hiding a knife like a pen is just grim............

Sicaq Sat 30-Aug-14 09:15:16

Pipbin, I actually did not know until ten minutes ago that there was a "wrong" way to do it blush

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