Mumsnet Talk

I am wondering what term to use with my daughter, when referring to her lady parts. When I was growing up with 2 older brothers, my Mum and Nan called their tackle 'tiddlers' so it followed that girls had 'tiddies'. As I have no older sons, asking my daughter to wipe her tiddy after a wee seems a bit random and meaningless. What terms do the rest of you use?

Vulva. That's what it is do that's what we call it.

I'd always understood vulva to refer more to the sex organ than the urethra/labia that would need wiping after a wee...? I have considered just using 'vagina' but it's quite a difficult word for a little one to use so was wondering if anyone uses anything more 'fluffy' (no pun intended).

I have thought about this A LOT. I just wish there was the female equivalent of willy. Harmless, not too sexual and easy to say in front of relatives (put your willy away Harry - for example!) . Unfortunately us ladies have had to put up with lots of sexist repression when it comes to talking about our sexual organs hence most of the words have negative connotations. This is in complete contrast to the rather jovial selection available for boys. Makes me rather cross sometimes. When I was little i called it a fairy! Friends have suggested foof! I am tempted to go with fanny. My other half not too keen and indeed I've tried it out a few times but it feels strange! If only there was someway to make fanny like willy! Time is ticking for us. DD is almost 1! Dilemmas!

Germaine: I think you have mixed up the terms vulva and vagina

The vulva refers to the external parts of female genitalia. It does have a sexual function but so does the penis and no one worries about little boys being confused about its two functions.

Mini?

Front bottom? Pom Pom?

we call it a chuff here

Pom Pom!! Haha, love it! Could be confusing on craft day at nursery though...

I totally agree with clabsyqueen re negative connotations and sexist repression - it makes something which should be easy very difficult. My sister-in-law tried fanny but every time her daughter said it outside of the home (at nursery, etc) it was met with total horror!

Re. vulva vs. vagina, OED defines them as follows: vulva - The external organ of generation in the female; esp. the opening or orifice of that organ; vagina - The membranous canal leading from the vulva to the uterus in women and female mammals. So neither seem quite right :s

Marking my place as I want some ideas too

We use bits short for private bits for girls and winkle ans peanuts (ugh Dhs choice) for boys
We are happy to call them their proper names too but like a lot of things we don't always use the proper name

Meant to say we call the winkle and peanuts together, privates.

We settled on "lady bits" for DD. Seems harmless yet descriptive!

I'm currently in this dilemma -DD 9.5 months.

Dh says that it should just be girlie bits and boy bits (he hates the word willy), but I'm not sure. I don't anything too "medical" eg vagina/vulva. On a similar thread someone said they use the words "winkle" for boys and "twinkle" for girls which i thought was sweet, but didn't want the nursery rhyme "twinkle twinkle little star" to be taken wrongly!!

I'm hoping DD will come up with a suitable word herself!

Vagina is the internal bit though. Vulva is the external bit. That's the OED definition.

We use "bits" - for males or females, front and/or back. You go to the loo, you wipe your bits.

Would you consider fanjo? (That's a joke, by the way).

Oh my gosh, laughing so much at the suggest of fanny! Thats quite a rude word where im from and I would be shocked to hear a child say it. Its lady bits in my house.

Nuni.

My mum used 'tail' with me. Never seemed odd

When I was a child I learned that I had a wee er and so did my dbs, just theirs was a different shape.

When my dc were small I told them they had a willy/penis but a girl had a hole. No name other than mummy's hole. Only when they started talking about babies and giving birth did I mention that I actually had 2 holes.

we use the term 'girly bits' at the moment, but will teach dd the proper names when she is talking more etc, another mnetter said they use the word 'yoni' which is sanskrit? i think she said, anyway that seems quite nice so that is another name i am using as well

my friend uses 'mini' but to the 4 boys that is a car!

DD1 is 3 and has shortened vulva to vulvie which I like. I hated not having a 'proper' word as a child.

"Bits" here. Girl bits and boy bits, with full technical terms if we need to be more specific.

Oh 'yoni' is lovely - I just looked it up. The loose translation from Sanskrit is 'sacred space' and it is worshipped as the site of female creative power. I think I'll go with that. Thanks 5madthings (and all of you)!

yes it has a lovely meaning and it was another mnetter who told it to me, i wish i could remember who

Boys have willies, so girls have wilmas here.

Loving this thread. Yoni is rather nice though I quite like the light heartedness of wilma and willy. Wilma made me laugh out loud - can i hear my daughter at school ''miss i really hurt my wilma'. Jury's still out...

Willy and wee wee here

Minefield isn't it! We have very matter of factly gone with wee wee bum and poo bum!

For some reason in our house it's woo woo.

I called it a peach when I was little

I like foofoo

my DD came up with "wee wee bottom" and "poo poo bottom" by herself. self explanatory, not too clinical but entirely unconfusing IMHO

I imagined my DD discussing something with a doctor and what would be the clearest and least ambiguous. I felt front bottom was the clearest and then more specific words like vulva and vagina would come into it as she got older.

Front bottom at least separates out poo problems from urine infections/thrush etc.

Have no idea why I'm thinking about it in medical terms at all.

I have a 5 yr old son and recently had a daughter so have been pondering this. My son thinks it's a foofoo because that's what his 2 closest female friends call it. It's very irritating that there's no standard lighthearted name, I'm unsure about foofoo, can't quite bring myself to use it. At the moment it's 'bits' but why should it be? It's like admitting embarrassment over it IMHO. I do like wilma, might try that.

We use vulva/vagina, although sometimes DD calls it her girlbits.

As others have said it's frustrating that there's no equivalent to 'willy'!

I have a DS aged 4 but have been looking at a word for him as he knows I don't have a willy but doesn't know what I do have & I never know what to say.

Someone I know tells her little girl it's a hoohaa!!!

x

my 2 have always called them bits

they know the proper names but they have always felt more comfortable with bits (DD1 used t have lots of UTIs so she had to talk about her bits with lots of medical types)

lots of people in my adopted local area calls it a 'tuppance' wtf???

my boys call my parts a foo-foo - nice word.

We said willy and fanny in our house when we were growing up, I didn't realise fanny was not appropriate for a child.

My DP has a neice called fanny and a cousin called willie so we might have to reconsider when the time comes for DS to learn those words.

I've grown up using the word fanny but that can be confusing if you visit the U.S. as the Americans refer to that as a lady's bottom.

Daisy for a girl's bits winky for a boys.

What's wrong with fanny?

Front bottom. I know it's not breaking the area down into constituent parts and she will learn all the correct terms but for now front bottom

Vulva. It's a part of the body - nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.
I personally find front bottom a bit offensive, equating the best female organ to where you shit from. All the silly cutesy names are just twee and irritating. I'm not hugely averse to yoni though. Or Vagina although technically incorrect can be more comfortable to hear as so many wince at the word vulvas which admittedly I used too.

Also important to give kids correct vocabulary to give them the language they need to talk if anyone tries to abuse them. Abusers rely on kids not knowing the words- referring to their penis as a lollipop for example. No-one would question a kid talking about sucking on a lollipop

I use 'foof'. Fluffy enough for you?

"Bits" is revolting. Not sure why, but I absolutely hate it.

Foofty here, sometimes fanny. As far as i know, fanny is just the geordie word for fanjo.

We use Mini or personals

When I was growing up, it was your 'mini' or 'front bottom'. I agree that 'front bottom' is absolutely disgusting... and I did, and still do, find it all very confusing.

Even now as an adult, I find it hard to say anything in reference to... female... parts? I feel really about it. Luckily OH is understanding, and we have agreed on 'biff' (not sure why - and is still very confusing to the uninitiated).

We are expecting a child soon, and honestly, I'm so worried about using embarrassing, fluffy, or graphic terms with our child. I am convinced that bad handling of this will lead to our child being just as much of an idiot about it as I am.

My MIL started calling it "wee" long before our daughter became verbal, so it just kind of stuck. Personally, I would have gone with vulva myself, just because. "Foof", "fanjo", "fanny", and "front bottom" are awful, in my rather humble opinion.

All that said, my daughter (currently five years old) still bathes with me on occasion, and often sees me completely naked (no, she has never seen her father or any adult male naked). She knows that adults, both men and women, grow pubic hair, and she's aware that women sometimes "bleed" (and she's been assured that the bleeding doesn't hurt). We try to be as matter-of-fact as possible about all of it. As far as I can tell, she hasn't yet been traumatized .

Bits here too. Private bits if 'longhand'.

Can't remember what I called it when younger. My SiL taught her 3 dds to call it tuppence. The first time I heard my niece say it did make me but not sure what I will use with my dcs

We say 'tushy'

I thought "tushy" referred just to the buttocks. To me, "tushy" and "bum" are interchangeable.

We've ended up using 'bits' too. When DD1 was born we couldn't decide what to use, so used 'bits' with the intention of finding a better word...we never did!

When I was little we used 'penny' as in 'spend a penny' but I wanted to find something different. I know someone who used woowoo, but then as an adult it kind of spoilt the cocktail with the same name... ;-)

Yoni is a good one...wish I'd thought to look on here 4 years ago. Bit late now as 'bits' has stuck!

For my 18month DD we say her "privates"

A neighbour calls her children's cheesy nonny (boy) and fishy nonny (girl) .....utterly revolting!!

We use twinkle. No idea why or when we started...

We say private parts here. But my girls also distinguish labia and 'gina'. If they experience any discomfort, they can be more precise. But private parts is a catch all, as we use it for our son too. They all know this is because only they touch them....

I've used yoni since my eldest was a baby, she's 10 now, and I've posted about it a few times. her 5 yo sister also uses yoni and "educated" her nursery and reception teachers about the word!
youngest is my ds and he's only 15mos, but we tend to call his penis his willy.

Mooey here. Unsure why.
I have a friend whose 4yo daughter calls hers a fanny. Was a bit taken aback at first.

My DD is only a baby but we've always just said "girly bits" when talking about her, er well, girly bits.

I imagine this will just continue as she gets older. It's nothing fluffy but not clinical either.

Am cringing at some of the suggestions here, including "yoni". Is reminding me of being young and my grandmother calling it all sorts of weird fluffy names that made me blush.

I like willies & wilmas though, might use that in future!
Also chuff haven't heard that word in years!

DD is a baby and at the moment she's got a "ducky", OP is Australian and when he was growing up they were dickies and duckies...