Office gifts for new baby

(10 Posts)
handbags88 Fri 24-Jun-16 21:19:37

I'm feeling a bit hurt by this and wondering if I might be being petty...

I recently had a baby girl. In our office we all pay into a gift fund at a set point in the year and it is understood that this money is spent on presents for special birthdays, babies and retirement gifts.

About a month before I had my baby, another colleague had a little boy. Her present was discussed at breaktimes, emails were sent about it.

When I had my little girl, I expected to receive a similar gift. I have been working at the office longer than my colleague and am on the same pay grade as her.

I didn't receive a present and my little girl was born almost 9 weeks ago. The other girl was given her present the day before she went off on maternity leave.

I was hurt by this but didn't say anything. No-one has mentioned anything - it's as if i haven't had a baby. Now another colleague is expecting and her potential gift is being discussed at breaks (I was visiting with my daughter and my colleagues were discussing it in the office kitchen).

I don't really feel like contributing to the fund again (the time to contribute is coming up) but would this be incredibly petty of me? I don't feel I can explain why either...any advice? Am I being grabby?

sad

venys Fri 24-Jun-16 21:23:36

Oh gosh that is incredibly hurtful. I completely understand you not wanting to contribute - I would feel exactly the same. I think in the end I would graciously contribute but not enter into conversations about what presents to buy in the future or offer to go buy them .

venys Fri 24-Jun-16 21:25:04

Although being on maternity leave, surely you wouldn't be expected to contribute at the moment?

turquoise88 Fri 24-Jun-16 21:32:28

That's really sad. I'd be hurt too. Do you generally get on well with everybody OP?

handbags88 Fri 24-Jun-16 22:27:45

I like to think I'm friendly with everyone in the office - although I can be a bit shy. I've been trying to think if I could have accidentally offended anyone but I don't think I have...confused

Venys - I'll be asked to contribute a set amount when I return from mat leave, it's an amount for the whole year and the woman who collects is very good at rounding people up!

I think I will contribute smile thanks guys. Just wanted to check that I wasn't being super sensitive or huffy!!

age81 Fri 24-Jun-16 22:36:10

I would be upset and tbh, if asked when you return

I would make a casual comment 'sorry I did t think the fund/kitty was used anymore.'

drinkyourmilk Fri 24-Jun-16 22:40:46

Is it your first baby? Some places don't collect for second or subsequent babies.

handbags88 Fri 24-Jun-16 22:46:36

Age - that's quite a good way of broaching the subject gently. If I'm brave enough!

Yes, she's my first baby - same with the other ladies. The office staff definitely know she's my first - there's been a lot of chatting/usual joking about how life changing it would be.

age81 Fri 24-Jun-16 22:55:10

I would definitely, it shows that you have not gone in all guns blazing, yet your not a push over to give YOUR money for collections when yours was blatantly missed.

handbags88 Mon 27-Jun-16 16:24:57

Okay - update!

I met a colleague in the supermarket yesterday and we were talking about babies etc.

She asked what gift I has received for DD as she works part time and thought she had missed the giving of the present part.

When I told her I hadn't actually received anything, she looked very surprised and assured me that it had been spoken about/decided who would buy the gift, so she was confused about why we hadn't been given anything. She seemed quite shock about it.

So at least I know now that we weren't forgotten, but obviously things have gone a bit awry...!

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