Saying 'Thank You' as part of wedding speeches

(10 Posts)
Mullinsamy Tue 28-May-13 20:30:41

I have mentioned my MIL and FIL in a previous post, but just and worrying about them - again. DP and I are marrying next year- the wedding is all booked and we are paying for it. My parents are helping out in their own ways, Dad is flying over from where he lives to give me away and Mom is getting us a chimney sweep (this is my second marriage and got lots of help the first time and so don't think they should cough up again). The in laws to be are not doing anything. His sister refused to be my bridesmaid (thank goodness). I don't expect anything from them, but at all their family do's they always do a big 'thanks and here is a bouquet ' to whoever helped them. We will be doing something similar to our helpers, but am I being paranoid that a thanks to them would be conspicuous by its absence? I know that others will be watching, and whilst I don't want to have to publicly say thank you for nothing, at the same time I (sound mad I know) have never been to a wedding where the grooms parents have not been mentioned in the speeches. Any ideas, or am I being silly?

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Tue 28-May-13 21:59:03

I think you have to thank them for their "support" even if it is non existent to be honest. Just say a few words about how you're so grateful for their wonderful support in everything and thank you for such a lovely son. If you don't it looks churlish.

Mullinsamy Tue 28-May-13 22:31:53

Yes, that's a good idea. I did think to thank them for having such a fab son. I think the image of their sour faces is just grating. hmm

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 29-May-13 12:25:03

Just be the bigger person Mullinsamy....you can even gush a bit if you are feeling naughty.

Mullinsamy Wed 29-May-13 18:38:04

Well today she is complaining that we have insulted them both by labelling the envelope (sent a them 'Save the Date' card and fridge magnet), with their full names, ie Jane Smith and John Smith, rather than Mom and Dad or Mr and Mrs Smith. She actually asked via text, why would insist on continuing to insult them like this. She is fecking bonkers!shock

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 29-May-13 20:06:57

In your shoes, I would re-send an invitation addressed to Mom and Dad...then they can't complain.

edam Wed 29-May-13 20:09:50

Oh, they sound like the sort of people who will just find something else to complain about! I wouldn't bother re. the invite. Good luck coping with them, sounds like it's going to be rather draining...

Mullinsamy Wed 29-May-13 20:36:33

What is also annoying is they won't offer any help with the wedding, and we won't ask for any, but then they will be bitching to all the relatives that we excluded them from the planning. Gah!

Succoria Thu 30-May-13 10:56:17

I'm in exactly the same position. My parents have helped loads, in all sorts of ways, whereas my in-laws have done very little, and don't seem particularly interested.
There's no way I'm not thanking my parents publicly, we probably wouldn't be getting married at all if it weren't for them, but I felt the same about missing out the in-laws in the speeches. I will pop in something thanking them for their love and support etc.

Mullinsamy Thu 30-May-13 19:43:54

It feels impossible. Rubbish people.

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