Who should I upset? Christening Oh Help! Please don't be distracted by HP names!

(14 Posts)
HomeHippo Tue 08-May-12 10:41:14

Someone is going to be very upset, and it is me who gets to decide who. Can you help me make this decision?

Recently penciled in a day for LO Christening. I wanted to check with prospective Godparents that they could do the day, but didn't want to tell them more than it was the day for the Christening as I want to ask them in person.

(Not real names in following... obviously)

Hermione has rearranged their work to be able to make it and did so within days, really amazing effort as she doesn't know the full story!

We saw Harry at the weekend who was delighted and has told his wife to book the day off from a job it is difficult to get the day off from (despite the fact they have just lost a baby and are going through other sad family problems too).

And then the people I thought I could really count on (closest to me) have told me that they can't do the day. Hagrid has to work late the night before and Molly is on a hen do. This also means their kids will be baby sat by other family members.

I think they expect me to change the day. But a week earlier they are on holiday. I could ask the viccar if he can do the week following, but what about those others who have already made plans/ going through difficult stuff?

Oh Help!! (DP thinks that if people can't make it then it's their problem, it is our day and they should change things to be there). Is he right? Who do I upset?

HomeHippo Tue 08-May-12 10:41:59

Sorry for long post. Please grab a brew and biscuit and help me!

McPhuck Tue 08-May-12 10:43:41

I'm afraid I agree with DP.

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren Tue 08-May-12 10:49:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EdithWeston Tue 08-May-12 10:53:19

Oh dear!

I'd try to stick with the plan you've got, and would be very bracing to Hagrid (yes, lack of sleep is a pain, but I'd hope he can be persuaded to make an effort).

That leaves Molly as the big sticking point. Hard to advise as we don't know exactly what you mean by close, nor how badly she would take it if she cannot come. Where is the hen night, and what are they doing? Christenings are daytime events; is there any way she can dip out for a couple of hours (she's not the bride, is she?)

HomeHippo Tue 08-May-12 10:55:22

Reasons for changing:

They know that I was checking people could make it (Hagrid and Molly). Their kids will be looked after by someone significant who I also don't want to upset. If I upset Molly I also upset this other person too.

If I was in their shoes I would change everything else to attend the Christening, but they seem to be expecting me to try another day... I will be upset if they can't go...

HomeHippo Tue 08-May-12 10:58:44

Edith - she's not the bride grin but it is one of her best friends of all time. I don't want to give too much information but Hagrid and Molly are family. Hermione is one of my oldest friends and Harry is DPs oldest/ closest friend.

hides behind sofa from anyone who might think they know me

ToryLovell Tue 08-May-12 10:59:43

Hang on a sec - you said you haven't told them what it was for yet?

See they could be thinking you were planning to invite them to lunch / concert etc which is why they were saying they had plans (the day before)

Book it to suit you, tell them that you have looked at alternative dates but cannot accomodate. Their choice to attend / move stuff / not drink etc

Kaloobear Tue 08-May-12 11:07:15

Are they all godparents? If they can't make it someone can take their vows for them-by proxy. One of DD's godmothers couldn't come to DD's christening so that's what we did. Didn't occur to me to change the date and she'd never have expected us to.

MrsEdinburgh Tue 08-May-12 11:07:35

You can't please everyone.
If people can't make it then it's tough.
Though you should tell people that the date is for your DD/DS's Christening.

HomeHippo Tue 08-May-12 11:08:04

They know it is for a Christening, but not that I want them to be God Parents.

HomeHippo Tue 08-May-12 11:08:37

Kaloobear didn't know that, that's interesting...

monkeymoma Tue 08-May-12 11:12:29

I think YWBU to change it now after some people have made arrangements to come

the people who can't make that date are not UR, noone can make everything, I would never expect a christening to be re-scheduled for me no matter how much I wanted to go (unless it was my own child!)

monkeymoma Tue 08-May-12 11:13:39

oh and the god parents do not have to be present, my mum stood in and spoke for some that couldn't make it to DSs

I don't see why anyone would be upset if you leave it as is, I see how people would be upset if you change it

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