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Ethical dilemmas

My son's friend had stolen from us

4 replies

susielou45 · 01/07/2015 12:17

My son has recently decided to sell his Xbox, but found it was missing. After some investigating on his part, he has discovered who stole it and the boy has admitted to stealing it. Rather than involve the police, I spoke via mobile to his mum, who agreed to pay us what the boy sold it for. She told us to go to her house the next morning to collect the money. However, on arrival she took a very different stance and said that she felt we were blackmailing her son by demanding money not to go to them. She offered my son £20 or a replacement second hand Xbox, which my son refused and got quite aggressive and sweary with her. She told me to phone the police, which I then did, but only PCSO's turned up, and basically after speaking with both parties, they backed the other mum up, offered my son £20 or a replacement. Now, the friend sold it for £30, which means that he's made a tenner from stealing someone else's gear and he's not being punished, isn't sorry in any way, and I've had to pay my own son £30 just to calm him down, and the other lad's mum is supposed to be getting a replacement for me. The PCSO said that there was no point in taking things further as my son should have been more careful who he lets in his room (the boy was a friend!) and he should take the money or replacement. The other lad hasn't apologised for the theft, he hasn't been reprimanded by the police or anything, in fact my son was reprimanded for losing his temper and swearing at the other mum, and rightly so, but I feel completely let down and angry about this situation. So does my son. Does anyone have any advice on how we can get the other lad punished for theft? The police really weren't interested.

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Fleecyleesy · 01/07/2015 12:23

No, you need to be realistic. There isn't anything you can do.

I would be furious but since you cannot do anything, you need to accept what's happened, learn from it and move on. Take from it the positive that your ds can learn that some people cannot be trusted even though you think they are your friends.

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tribpot · 01/07/2015 12:26

Did the boy admit stealing the Xbox in front of the police? What age are the two boys in question?

I can't understand how the police backed up the other mum, stealing is stealing. The boy at least needed to be told it was wrong. The victim blaming statement about your ds needing to be careful who he lets into his room is unacceptable.

I think I would phone the station to ask how you can give feedback. I had a look on the home page of my police force and the only option seems to be an official complaint - I don't know if you feel strongly enough about it for that.

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StrawberryMojito · 01/07/2015 12:27

I think the ship has sailed now. If the police were involved and it was agreed that you would be paid £20 and you accepted that £20, I think it is now too late to say you want him prosecuted.
What you should have done told the pcso that you wanted to make a formal report of the theft. However, there is no guarantee that you would have received any money back then.
If you don't like the way the pcso handled it, make a complaint or ask to speak to his supervisor.

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ColdCottage · 02/07/2015 17:43

If you are really bothered you can take it to civil court but would be OTT. Feel bad for your as seems very unfair re money and lack of support from the police.

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