ohhhhh buggeration

[VicarInaBooTu]

am waffling to no one in particular that i think i spectacularly failed my police assessment centre thingy today.

am crushed. deflated. peed off in massive stylee.
and kicking mystupidself and have resigned myself to a working life of crap and crap followed by yet more crap. oh and for crap pay.when all the while im playing cops and robbers as a special, doing the bloody job for nowt. and doing it ok too...why why why why why couldnt i just perform well today? bloody stupid mindfreezing nerves.

[Doodlez]

Oh dear. Wanna tell us why you think you blew it?

[VicarInaBooTu]

i just do...i didnt ask enough questions or enough relevant questions in the interactive roleplays....and the interview questions were really really hard - had to think on my feet and waffled....lots.
and by the time it got to the written i was so nervous my writing didnt even look like mine anymore...and i couldnt spell assurance...
and the psychometric tests - they were last and quite frankly after 4 1/2 hours of abject torture id think my brain had gone to mush...nothing made any sense anymore! i think i did however 'ace' the maths test which i thought i would fail...which is only very very small consolation...i was sooooo desperate to get in and i suspect thats why i bollocksed it up.
im very very very
and ive now got a very long 3 week wait to find out exactly how badly i ballsed up.
oh good grief....

[VicarInaBooTu]

oh and i cant re apply for 6 months which is totally irrelevant anyway cos no forces are recruiting! (unless i move to london or scotland that is)
so that whole spiel about reapplying in 6 months is total twaddle...they just say that to make you slightly less suicidal when your leaving the assessment centre....

im feeling very sorry for myself and ive drunk wine.
lots of it
ive got a day off crappy day job tomorrow and needed some sorrow drowning!

[Doodlez]

Well you could take the line that it was your rehersal/practice/dry run? As far as i know, you're not limited to one go at this, so keep heart. If you've really fluffed it, re-apply. When you want something that passionately, it shows and shines out in your interview. There's always a chance, so don't give up on it just yet.

I feel for you Vicar, I really do. Same thing happened to me years ago. Makes my toes curl just thinking about it now. When the results came in, I was told face to face that I'd not got the job....I cried...CRIED like a right wet drip. That was even worse than fluffing the sodding interview!

[Doodlez]

X- posts!

It's not irrelevant! You CAN re-apply and forces ARE still recruiting. They say they're not but the fact is, THEY ARE!

[VicarInaBooTu]

so how do i find out who is recruiting when? my own force with whom im a special is saying not for the next few years.
the force i just had the disaster with are saying they will have a bank of PCs now to call on,
it was through good luck rather than good management i got an application form with this force - they didnt advertise, not even on their website.
ive no idea how i reapply to a force thats not taking applications.

think i need some sleep! didnt sleep well last night (got sum total of 41/2 hours which wont have helped in todays debacle)

off to bite my pillow....

[Doodlez]

Hi Vicar - did you get a good sleep?

Look, the force you just applied to hadn't advertised had they? They were recruiting by stealth! It happens within all forces.

Chalk this one up to experience and try again with fresh head and fresh eyes in a few months.

You want it - you go for it!

[VicarInaBooTu]

cheers doodlez!

am trying to remain positive and see this as my practice run.
found out that my own force will be recruiting internally, not yet but thats ok, gives me time to let the 6month waiting time to expire before i can re apply!

am trying to remember the old adage that what doesnt kill you makes you stronger...

i just wish i could stop feeling so stupid i woke up this morning with about a million things i should have said wafting through my head! it was only 24 hours too late!