Boss being difficult about pregnancy and lead up to maternity leave

[CookieMonster1]

Hello everyone

I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions to help me deal with a boss who seems to be being a bit difficult about the period of time leading up to my maternity leave.

I will try and summarise as briefly as possible but basically he is a bit difficult at the best of times plus he is a bit old fashioned in his outlook and he is really not making things as easy as they could be at the moment. It's just a series of niggly things but they all add up to me feeling a bit fed up and stressed.

For example I asked him if we could revisit my objectives to take account of me going on maternity leave for part of the year. I have a very challenging full year's work in objectives assigned to me this year but because I will be on maternity leave for 4 months of the year I thought it was reasonable to review what's expected of me so I am clear on what I need to deliver before I go and so I'm not totally stressed by the feeling of having a year's worth of objectives to squeeze into 8 months. I know I will be blamed for not meeting objectives if this isn't clear. My lovely manager's response was that he disagreed my objectives need to be reduced because he is going to find someone to cover my maternity leave and they will pick up any unfinished objectives on my list.

Maybe it's me (in which case please tell me!) but isn't it reasonable to want to know what is expected of me in the time I have? Otherwise I will half kill myself trying to get everything done (not feasible or reasonable) or I will make my own judgement about what's reasonably achievable and will then get a hard time for not doing enough!

For me, he is not being helpful or reasonable. I should have one set of objectives and the person who replaces me should have a separate set so we are both clear on what's expected.

All thoughts gratefully received.

[SmileyMylee]

I would have thought that it needs to be clear what you have to achieve and what your maternity leave cover has to achieve.

Some objectives may simply be pro-rated (i.e.8/12 of any numerical targets), some may have to be removed (for example if you will not be there at the relevant time.)

However from my experience, most managers start to lose interest once you announce maternity leave re targets and objectives. They tend to concentrate on the people who will be around for longer.

[divedaisy]

Cookie - is it possible that the objectives are for your role/position rather than personnally for you? If so do what you can reasonably do and then leave the rest for the temp. Also, you need to be realistic to know that your maternity leave could start earlier than what you plan/envisage so even if you did get your objectives 'revisited' it could be a unnecessary undertaking.

Not knowing what industry you work in or haw big your firm - have you contacted your HR dept? Or if you really feel you're not being listened to you could get advice from your union. Is your Boss/Manager the 'top of the ladder' - or is there anyone else you could speak to? You have spoken to him already so its not as if you're going over his head. You could also put your concerns in writing and make your worries formal, this way he shouldn't have any course to 'blame you' because you have already raised the concern and he has failed to address it to your satisfaction.

[divedaisy]

Oh and your manager should be made aware that added stress during pregnancy is not recommended and could cause more time off - that may get him thinking more clearly!

Good Luck with your pregnancy.

[flowerybeanbag]

If your objectives are for the year and your manager is happy that anything unfinished can and will be picked up by your maternity cover I can't see much of a problem to be honest. Your manager is obviously not expecting you to finish everything before you go.

If it really bothers you not to have specific objectives just for you, then propose some yourself. Start from your objectives for the year and work out how much of it you think you can do in the time you have left, and put something forward.

[LoveBeingAMummy]

I would ensure that before you leave you ensure that your review is completed so that it is clear when you left you were at x point and then have a review when you get back to set up expectations till the end of the year.

[CookieMonster1]

Thanks for the input everyone. All good advice.

Flowery, I think what bothers me is that if I take the approach "do what I can , leave what I can't" then that leaves me open to my boss telling me when the time comes that I haven't worked hard enough to get things done - which he won't hesitate to do in a nasty way. So I just want to cover myself. This week he says he is happy for anything I don't complete to be handed on, but he won't put that in writing and I know when the time comes he won't remember saying that.

The objectives are actually part of my personal execution plan, so very definitely for me personally rather than my role generally.

I think I am going to have to go back to him and document which objectives I think are reasonable to expect me to complete and which I intend to leave. So the ball will be in his court. Doing that will definitely antagonise him though so I will get a strip torn off me for having the cheek to do that.

[CookieMonster1]

LeninGrad he is a very difficult person to approach. He reports directly to the president of our organisation so is very senior. He has a fragile ego plus as I said before, he has very old fashioned views on women's roles.

I am assertive and respectful in my dealings with him but he is aggressive by nature, hates to discuss anything and reacts on a whim without thinking things through, He sees any reasonable and assertive approaches to discuss normal things like this as me disagreeing with him or challenging his authority. This always makes him angry and turns into a verbal attack. Always verbal and one-to-one so no proof of anything untoward happening.

I don't really want to get involved in a big disagreement with him at this point because as divedaisy said, stress is not good for me right now. I just want to know what work I am expected to complete in the time I have and then I just want to get on and do it.

[fluffles]

if it were me i'd send him a list of what i propose to do before i go and what i propose my ML cover picks up (by email) and ask him to let me know if that's ok.

that way you at least have your proposal in writing even if you get no response.

[CookieMonster1]

Hello LeninGrad. He's a bully and this doesn't really fit with the official company culture, but it's my word against his so guess who will come out on top if I raise this. I don't want to end up out of a job if I can help it at the moment. The alarm bells have been ringing for a while.

Nobody else signs off on my objectives. So it's just down to him. I will take a deep breath and send the email and try and relax. I doubt he will even bother to reply.

Thanks again