Oh cool, you are there.
This is a long story. Basically I have been in the company 3 years and was moved into a totally different job about 18 months ago. This move was a move up but I still had/have the same boss. Before I moved into this job there were 3 guys doing 1/2 of the role I currently do - they were all made redundant or similar.
The job I was moved to has never had a job description that I can find although the job basically has evolved into splitting into 2 main bits.
Oh this is so difficult to type because I need to get my thoughts clear. Anyway, top and bottom of it is that I am going to a performance review tomorrow where I will get an official warning for underperformance - I dont think they are following the procedure properly. I am really good at what I do, but the job is impossible to do because:
- one half of my job relies on me promoting a product that we have sidelined internally, are not promoting externally and we are signing agreements with competitors
- The second half of my job no-one in the company is achieving. we are trying to sell a 2nd rate product into a full market already. Everyone else is probably at similar achievement levels.
- Lack of training and management - my manager has a total hands off approach which is really shit. He just lets me get on with it and even when I have asked directly for help, like "what single or three things would you do to be more successful if you were in my shoes" he is vague and gave me an answer such as "be less tolerant" which is not constructive or a solid practical response. He has met me less than 6 times this year, which 2 have been in the last week. I have had 0 training in this new role and there has been no mentorship or guidance - even though I Have asked. There is no single person in our whole company doing what I am doing as a role - I am overloaded with work. I am senior in the company so there is no-one I can go to other than my boss.
- Lack of assistance - I have consistently raised at every meeting (Which have been few and far between) that I end up doing other people's jobs because no-one has the bandwidth to help me. If i start something that needs say a project manager - I get told consistently that there is no-one available. If I find a lead that needs direct sales involvement - we don't have any and have not had any for 7 months. If I need finance to help me with pricing, the response is slow, crap and I end up having to chase and chase. So my boss criticised me for taking on other people's work, but if I don't, it won't get done and if it does not get done, I get sacked. Catch 22 really.
- Lack of HR - there is no local HR (well I think the new person starts today) - we have been without HR for 4 months and before then, we had a junior HR person. Our head of HR left in mid 2007 and we have never replaced this position. The junior who was working for this person took over the role, was only an admin person. I could never approach her and ask her for help as she was unable to assist. I have phoned employee helplines, but they only deal with emotional counselling, not with the practicalities of how I get beyond where I am.
- This is making me ill, after my conversation last week, I ended up in bed for 24 hours unable to stop crying. I have not been to the GP, but am sure I could get signed off with stress(have long ago history of depression)
- We all got given new contracts a couple of months ago and one of my equivalents has a longer notice period than me, his was changed from 4 wks to 12 - I thought this was unfair. I should not know about this, but I do.
- Finally, I know I am good at my job - I solicit regularly opinions from colleagues as to my performance and they all say I am doing well and that I am aiding the business greatly.
Add into that a couple of smallish sexual harrassment type incidents (1 where a colleague last December at the Christmas party was leaning over teh back of the chair and taking photos of my norks without telling me and the second where the head of the division at hte time was bang out of order in some comments about how lucky my dh was and that I am a beautiful and bright girl blah blah) and I have had enough.
I want out and I want out quickly, but I also want to make the bstrds pay for all the misery they have put me through. My job is impossible, I can never succeed, but I know for a fact that no-one else could ever succeed in my position either. they have talked about a compromise agreement and sent me the standard form to review. I have family legal cover, so can take them on if needed.
So my performance review is tomorrow, boss has invited HR person from the US who I have met once and the Ops Director who is at my level in the company. I don't know why he is there, but feel that even if I carry on, him knowing that I am under performance review would make my mission even harder.