DD had nasty bug Off for 2 days Work demanded i put my holidays in Advice needed

[822tinkerbell]

Hi Ladies, I need some urgent advice right now. DD (2.5 )was ill with a bug one Friday & i thought she will be alright during weekend. She refused to eat and kept pooing and by monday morning it still persisted. Took her to the doctor and put her back to nursery on the day. Doc said if she still doesn't eat next day have to take her to the hospital. Nursery told me she refused to eat and kept soiling herself so advice me to stay at home with her. i did on Tues. She won't eat and her diarrheoa didn't get any better. She hasn't ate anything friday afternoon so i took her to the hospital and they will put her on drips. I spoke to my manager every morning when i was off and he said it is ok and that family is more important than anything else. Anyway long story short i took the next day off coz hubby couldn't and there is a "special time off" rule we can take when your child is ill. After 2 days off, i went back to work,the management told me i have to put 2 days holidays to cover the 2 days i am off. I told them in the past i never have to do that and it is a known rule at work that i can leave if my child is sick and everybody practices it. My manager told me that it's ok to "leave work" if your child is sick and that i should just come into work to show my face for an hour then leave, or should have just call in sick myself. And nothing was written in our employee handbook that about this "special rule". So i don't know who is right or wrong. Since nothing was written on the manual, they can't penalised & make me the victim and change the rules whenever they like it. My manager was a nice guy really but our new director is something else. I save 2 days holidays for end of this month to do my christmas shopping and i am reluctant to give in my through no fault of mine. I am the only mother in this company, rest are fathers so they would not understand. should i give in my only 2 days holidays or is there anywhere i could prove to them i as a mother has rights when their child is sick. My manager knew very well i am not the type of person to take the mick out of the system but accordng to him, his has are tied. DD was ill before i still palmed her off to the nursery but this time she was really serious. I never thought of getting a sick note from the doctor either. Really confused and upset. Sorry for this long rambling message. Feeling down and advice from all experienced fulltime working mom will be very much appreciated. Thanks !!!

[deckthehallswithFEETofTIGERs]

Sorry your dd has been ill, hope she is feeling better now.

I have to take holidays if my dd is ill. I have never worked anywhere where this was not the case. Sounds like you had an informal arrangement re extra time off that is no longer in place. You have no legal right to take time off for a sick child. Sorry that this is probably not what you want to hear but I think it is fair, having "free" time off work, even to look after a sick child, is the sort of thing that causes resentment amongst non-parent colleagues so most workplaces won't countenance it.

[PartridgeinaRustyBearTree]

You are entitled to (unpaid) leave to make arrangements for caring for a sick dependant This page explains more.

[kittylouise]

Sorry that your dd has been ill. And as a ft working mother I know that it is absolute hell when this happens, cue guilt on all sides.

However, I have never worked anywhere where I can take (paid) time off to look after my dd. I always make sure I have a 'float' of a couple of days holiday to cover eventualities. I don't think your manager has helped with the informal arrangement, it sounds very vague and can give the wrong impression. Also a bit odd for your manager to tell you to take a sickie!

God only knows about the right to take unpaid leave to care for a sick relative. I would not opt to take unpaid leave unless I really had to.

I think you will have to bite the bullet on this one and take the time as holiday. I have worked for years in male-dominated environments, to be honest it is hard enough without people starting to think you are taking liberties/taking the piss/having special treatment because you are a woman and a mum.

[Reamhar]

PartridgeinaRustyBearTree is correct in terms of your rights. There is no legal entitlement to paid time off to care for a sick child, unless your company has a written policy that states that you do. Sorry.

Can you try to compromise by working from home or catching up on the time in some way? Your only other option instead of using your holiday maybe to offer to take unpaid leave maybe?

[822tinkerbell]

Hi girls ! Many thanks for your prompt reply. DD is on the mend now. Lost so much weight and only starts eating solid again. She was on soup for the past 2 weeks & health drinks provided by the doctor. Partridgeinarustybeartree thanks very much for your link. I am more aware now of my rights after reading the materials. Now i realised work - my manager has been really kind to me in the past 2 years - until this new director took over. DD is 2 years 5mths old. In the past when she was ill, i could leave work anytime and i took a day early this year and perhaps 2 on separate occasion last year when DD was ill. Hubby works away a lot and it's almost just Ruby & me. I have no other support network ( MIL passed away last year & i am from S'pore with no relatives here). This time it is this new director who broght it up. Kittylouise you are right,have to bite the bullet on this one ! I'll speak to my manager again this afternoon. I shouldn't really be that harsh to my manager ( was mean to him earlier ) I got paid 100% during my 6 months maternity leave .. everything was all hunky dory till this new director came along ! Was spoilt i think ... hey girls ...felt so much better ( still a bit reluctant to part with 2 days hol !! ) Thanks !!!

[Judy1234]

Yes, they are right. But why is it always women shotting their careers to pieces on threads like this and annoying their bosses. Why aren't the men at home when children are sick? Because women let it be so.