Ever thought WORK WAS UNTENABLE without the SUPPORT AROUND YOU?????

[drosophila]

I work 3 days a week and DP works 5 from home. We have 2 dc. DS goes to school and DD to nursery. IF DS is sick it's fine (unless really ill) as DP can work at home with him. If dd is sick there is nobody we can ask to help and we have to juggle it between us. I have moved jobs and now have and now have quite a pressured job. I am rally beginning to feel overwhelmed and almost broke down today on the way home as dd seems to have a UTI or something.

I don't know what to do. I have got the number of the emergency nannies but not sure if they would come out to a sick child. That might not work as DP works form home and it is likely that DD would not be very quiet when faced with a strange nanny.

[Kbear]

Yes and I thank god my Mum is around to help me so much and my DH works shifts and I have a wonderful boss who completely understands when there is a crisis and I have to call in to say I won't be in.

Without these things, working would be a nightmare.

Sorry to hear you're feeling the strain.

[Anna8888]

drosophila - you are right, support is crucial.

Do you have anyone that you could build a relationship with to help you out if the children get ill?

I have had to address this issue as, going back to work part-time, I know that three or four times a year I will be away from home for a week at a time and will need nanny cover. So I have worked out who at my daughter's school is an only child with a nanny and have built relationships with those families and asked whether they would be prepared to let me "use" their nanny for a week once in a while (in return for a very good cash bonus for the nanny). It has been a very successful exercise as the families are quite keen on giving their nannies extra cash in return for little effort on their part

[drosophila]

Don't know anyone with a nanny and the friends I have made all have little kids so you can't really ask if they could look after your sick child. There would be a real fear that their child would catch whatever.

It is really getting ot me and worrying me. I have to have a wisdm tooth extracted this week and have had to do it on aworking day so that the Nursery can look after dd. If she is ill then I am buggered and I have waited a while for this apt.

[Tinker]

Hi dros. Can you amend your 3 days to be not fixed? In reality, keep them as they are but can be flexible to cover illness? I suppose this would be awkward with nursery. We are similarly stuck.

[CeciC]

Hi drosophila,
I have 2 dd, aged 7 and 3, and I have a CM for this reaon, as we don't have any relatives around to help. "Touch wood" my DDs so far have been very healthy as they only catched colds, and live doesn't stop for a cold. But if we have to, either my DH or me have to have a day unpaid or holidays. Both my husband and me work full time outside the home, but we can work at home if need it.

[drosophila]

Didn't think of asking the nursery that Tinker. I used to know people who worked shifts and I know their Nursery would be flexible.

The only issue is the Nursery is very new and whilst I think they are very good with the kids when you talk admin it seems to send them into a tail spin. Perhaps I could broach this when I have been there longer. Have you heard of Nurseries doing this?

Situation not helped by possibly losing 3 days annual leave I thought I had.

DP is saying now that he will take her to GP as early as he can tomorrow and if he has to he will try and work with her at home. I think this is impossible. When she was sick last my manager (who is very nice so far) suggested I changed my days to cover it and consequently I did an extra day this week but this costs me £50. It doesn't help that my two don't eat enough fruit and veg I'm sure. Onwards and upwards....

[drosophila]

and then I have soooo many meetings that are pre-arranged weeks in advance.

[spellbound]

It's a nightmare isn't it when this happens? DH and I work full time, and have no relatives nearby. No easy answer, although possibly a childminder might be more flexible than a nursery?

[WideWebWitch]

Blimey, from where I'm sitting that looks like a GREAT arrangement Drosophila. We both work ftoth, have one child at school and another at nursery and have no-one very nearby (i.e. same town) so if one of the children is ill one of us just has to take time off, there's no choice. Whereas you have

2 days where you don't work
5 days where your dp is at home, albeit working

that sounds great to me.

[WideWebWitch]

Sorry, realise that post didn't sound v supportive, I'm envious I suppose since we both do (very long, 13 hours atm in my case) days x 5. What about an au pair? When we buy a decent sized house I intend going down that route if pos.

[drosophila]

WWW what do you do if a crisis happens. Additional problems are caused by DS who has asthma and the first hint of a cold and we and we can end up in hosp.

Everything is relative so I can see where you are coming from but I suppose I only see the pitfalls in my situation i.e. No support in this country.

[Tinker]

Dros - yes I do know people who used nurseries when they needed but think they were able to give a month's notice re dates. Agree that a childminder might be more flexible? Busy day today though

[WideWebWitch]

Hi Dros, depends on the crisis but it would have to be me or dh. There is no-one else nearby. When exdh wasn't working then he sometimes came and looked after ds if he was ill but it was rare.

[drosophila]

Tinker , don't know what you are talking about .