I am struggling to become a manager - have I done the right thing?

[Katymac]

My deputy will be taking over my role within 6 months

I seem to be unable to delegate

I am on a course to help with 'management' stuff

They suggested setting targets (which meet an acronym
S sensible
M measurable
A acheivable
R realistic
T time (something or other but means done by a set date))

So I sat down with her and made some targets - some have dates a long way away some had dates last week and next week. The more immediate ones I suggested moviong them a week or 2 further away. But she insisted they were acheivable

She hasn't achieved the ones for last week and won't acheive the ones for next week (she has booked time off)

So what do I do now

(I should never have employed a friend)

[WideWebWitch]

The S is specific afaik!

You need to find out WHY she hasn't done them. Is it not enough time/poor time management on her part/lack of expertise to do them/other?

And then say, right, well XYZ Must be done by x date, can you agree to that? Do you have a proper contract with her? have you agreed grievance procedure? A probationary period? Does she just need some help or is she fundamentally the wrong person for the job?

[Katymac]

Oh bugger got that worng too

I think it is poor time management

I think she knows she is in trouble - but I don't know what to do now

[Millarkie]

If it is poor time management that is preventing her from reaching targets you need to discuss how she is going to overcome this..for example, you could discuss her working week and allocate time for each task (on monday you will do,,,) rather than ask for x number of tasks to be done by the end of the week...if it is a matter of something else always being more important than the long term task then having a way of becoming unavailable to 'emergencies' helps even if that means a sign saying 'Do not Disturb' on the desk.

[WideWebWitch]

Ok, so it sounds fixable then. Why don't you say, right, these are the tasks

a
b
c
etc

would it help if we agreed a time when you're going to do them and I can make sure you get that time and don't get distracted/given other tasks etc in that time.

And then say

a ok, 2 hours on monday, 9-11am or something
b ditto

and so on, and make sure she gets the time to do them. It's lovely when someone is completely WILLING to do something and hard working etc but just needs some help with prioritising and being given some time to complete stuff because you can help with that and work with it and fix it

Do that, it'll be fine. and you can do it all comppletely calmly and cheerfully and I bet you'll both be v relieved to have sorted it out. There's no need for cross ness, honestly

[WideWebWitch]

And I bet she's been worrying about it too.
You might find when you sit down and talk about how long each task will take that you don't know or that she's worried about the time for some of them or something. But it'll be fine.

[WideWebWitch]

And you can do all of it cheerfully and calmly and professionally and it can be a positive thing, it doesn't have to be confrontational at all. Good luck, let us know how you get on.

[WideWebWitch]

And you can do all of it cheerfully and calmly and professionally and it can be a positive thing, it doesn't have to be confrontational at all. Good luck, let us know how you get on.

[WideWebWitch]

Sorry, pc froze

[Katymac]

She was supposed to do 9x5 minute (possibly 2 min) tasks over 24 hrs (4x6hr days)

Taking & printing 9 photos

Plus 2 meeting with staff setting targets & associated paperwork

7x5mins done , 5 photos done (not printed) plus the meetings - but not the paperwork

I did the timetabling bit last week

Plus I had to keep saying 'have you done the meetiongs yet'

I am bad at this

[sloppysoupdragon]

HI Katymac

Hope I can help. If it it is time management that is the issue then you have to sit down with her and plan in more detail what she will be doing and by when and be really specific and be available to help / supervise

Does your employee undertand whas is expected of her? How capable is she at the tasks required to complete the job to a reasonable standard?

As you say she has not achieved these objectives it may be that her confidence and motivation need attention, and you may have to be more supportive / nurturing.

Your last comment is interesting - it is always harder to work with friends than keeping things professional. Is this change in the relationship at the root of the issue? You have to decide whether she is actually in the right job. If she is what training / development can you provide to enable her to succeed? If not you have to decide how you will enable her to move on. You will hopefully have a grievance / disciplinary policy as part of her contract of employment that you can follow if necessary. Good luck

[Katymac]

OK - Positive stuff

She keeps saying she wants the job
She is attending appropriate training (NVQ3)
She says she enjoys it
I am genuinally fond of her

Negative

She doesn't put in anything (unless coaxed)
She sits there gossiping instead of working (& encouraging others to do the same)
She says the right stuff but doesn't follow through

But unless she bucks her ideas up - I will give the management job to someone else - I can't cope with the stress

[WideWebWitch]

She doesn't put in anything (unless coaxed) - Target her on ideas, make it part of her job. This is a new business, you need enthusiasm and energy

She sits there gossiping instead of working (& encouraging others to do the same)You need to stop this right now and tell her this is unacceptable. I'd go for zero tolerance on this. Chat is fine, within reason but this sounds not ok

She says the right stuff but doesn't follow through. You need to manage her as we've suggested. If she keeps not following through you'll have to take action. Make sure you have a contract that allows for a probationary period etc.

[Katymac]

I know

Do you think that subconsiously I want her to read this on MN and get her finger out?

[sloppysoupdragon]

It sounds to me that it is less to do with capability ( she could do the task/s if she really wanted to ) and more either a motivation or a confidence thing. If you can rule out one then it is something to do with the other.

I agree with Wickedwaterwitch you need to be specific about what the expectations are and I would go further and say you need to write them down send them to her and keep a copy for yourself. This may be useful as you may later need to show that you are being reasonable as an employer in your management of this person, it may also encourage her to take you more seriously as her employer. You do not say if you have a proper job description / contract of employment / disciplinary grievance procedure. This is important, as you may need to follow this if you decide that you need to formally performance manage her by taking her down the disciplinary route. I wonder if she is taking advantage of her relationship with you. You cannot afford for her her attitude to rub off on the team or you will get no work out of any of them.

[Katymac]

If I am out of the setting for a day nothing gets done

They left an activity halfway through & didn't let all the children participate and didn't clear up while I was on a course

I am wondering if she is just plain lazy

[sloppysoupdragon]

Hi Katymac. I sounds as if she is not supporting you at all. What would happen if you got an OFSTED inspection or a parent decided to drop in?

[WideWebWitch]

Hmm, I would be worried about this. You should be able to trust your deputy in your absence.

[Journey]

I'd do following:

1. Arrange a meeting with her.
   
   
2. At the start of the meeting ask her for her feedback on how she is progressing with the tasks. (This stage is VITAL so don't rush it).
   
   
3. After she has given her feedback ask open open question e.g. "since you have missed the target how do you plan to get back on track"; "to make up the time what support/help do you need?" etc etc.
   
   
4. Ask her what she thinks is the impact of not meeting the targets. Explain and expand where necessary. Inform her next time that you would like to be told as soon as possible when she is aware that she is not going to make a future target. Make this an objective so it is documented e.g. "communicate to my manager in a timely and effective manner...."
   
   
5. It is also essential to probe to find out if she needs any training/development to achieve the tasks. For instance, she may not have wanted to admit her shortcoming at the start incase she didn't get the job!
   
   6)Reprioritse the tasks where necessary and agree on new SMART objectives.
   
   If this person is going to be a manager it important that the conversation is not a tell session. Be supporting and encouraging but keep the end goal in sight.

[Katymac]

I do wish emotions weren't part of it

I am so much better on-line

[SueW]

Is she 'one of the troops'?

Some people find it v difficult to move from 'one of them' to 'one of us' or vice versa depending on where you are standing. It can be difficult to move away from being one of the crowd to supervising the crowd but if she wants to move on, that's what she has to do.

If she wasn't formerly one of the crowd, she needs to understand there's a diff between getting to know your staff and being one of them.

[Katymac]

I think that might be some of it

I think I am getting insights into how to improve things

[EachPeachPearMum]

Katymac, I struggle with this kind of thing myself. I hate delegating (110% perfectionist moi!) and I hate talking to people, and I hate asking them to do stuff, I also hate checking it and making sure they do it!

You really need to put the personal friendships away the minute you step into work. YOU are paying her a salary, SHE is working for YOU, therefore she owes you a decent day's work for her decent day's salary- employment obligations are a 2-way thing.

At the end of the day, she is taking advantage of your good nature, and the relationship you have, to claim a salary without doing all of the work- if she wasn't a friend, you would probably thinking right now 'hang on a minute? that's theft!'

You need to nip it in the bud now! The situation is going to deteriorate, and she will cease to be your friend. I really think that if you are going to remain friends, she cannot work for you, sorry, but friends cannot have financial obligations to each other. That's not friendship. If you think she is truly right for the job, then keep her, but end the personal relationship.

I know this is harsh, but I think from your posts, you already know this is the way its going to go. From what I've read your business sounds wonderful, and I really hope its a very successful one, but in order for that to happen everyone involved needs to put in their fair share of the work.

Be honest with her- tell her how you see the situation. It may be she genuinely feels there is not enough time to complete those tasks, in which case she should be having some input into the time allowed etc. If she is a real friend, she will admit things have to change too. GL {hugs}

[Katymac]

Apparently there are reasons why she didn't meet her targets

But I said how important it was to meet them next time and tried to explain the consequences (don't know if that worked)