We can't continue meeting like ships in the night

[meeshy]

Let me summarise where I am right now - I am a 40 year old mum of 3 great boys aged 6, 5 and 2. I am the quintessential busy working mum with a stressful job that needs me to travel extensively in the Uk and Europe often without much notice.

Trouble is, my husband has that sort of job too and consequently we spend all our time trying to sychronise diaries and failing, with me feeling like I am having to give excuses all the time for not coming to meetings when really it is because husband is in Madrid or wherever.

So we see little of each other in the week and every other weekend he is off to see his sick dad at the other end of the country. I feel like we can;t carry on as we are but not sure how to make it right. I really don't want to give my job up as I've worked really hard to get to where I am and all the other careers I've looked at don't stack up money wise, meaning you basically spend your salary on childcare.

Advice gratefully received !

[mozhe]

How about some childcare,( even 1/2 a day a month ), on weekends.....then you and DP could have quality time together and maybe even one to one with individual children...
It's a tip from another poster on MN that I put into operation. I think it works...I also work fulltime, as does DH and we have 6 LOs....so know what you are talking about.

[meeshy]

Trouble is I feel like I have to be a proper mum on weekends and Sat/Sun are total kid time what with karate, football, parties etc., I would feel a bit guilty if i went off with dh on my own - all day drinking session is a very attractive thought though !

[Hattie05]

Is karate, football etc proper kid time? or would family picnic at the park and be proper 'family' time - this way you are altogether kids can play around and hopefully you and your dh would be more relaxed rather than stuck in traffic racing to each different club.

I am convinced that parents lives are far more stressful nowadays with the busy schedules of clubs/classes they have to ferry their children to.

I realise thats not your issue, but just thought making your weekends a bit more chilled would help with the stressful weekdays.

How many days are you normally away for when you have to fly abroad? Would it be feasible for each of you to take one end of the week. e.g. your husband arrange all his meetings mon/tues and you try and keep yours thurs/fri. This way you can both confidentally accept work without having to ring each other first. Obviously there will be occasions when it may not be doable but then those are the times you will need to communicate.

Is a career break an option until your youngest is in school? If you don't like being a sahm you could get involved in some voluntary work.

[mozhe]

YOU are a proper mum ! I don't do all that jazz....get nanny/childminder to do that and think about some fun/recharging batteries type activities for you, DH and DCs...
Don't recommend giving up work...you just need some ' down time'...like we all do.