Is maternity leave sexist ?

[mozhe]

I think so.....surely it should be parental leave that is available to both parents,( or maybe even members of the wider family network, like grandparents ? ), and there should be financial incentives to encourage both parents to take it. What do other people think ? Instead of trying to make maternity leave longer should we not focus on supporting parents back into work sooner and providing better/cheaper/more appropriate childcare...

[nappyaddict]

obviously after the baby is born it should be parental leave, but before the baby is born definitely only maternity leave. its not the man whos pregnant after all!

[mozhe]

agree there nappyaddict !

[lyrabelacqua]

Not all mothers want to get back to work sooner though. I'd have welcomed the one year maternity leave that women get now when I had mine (i got 3 months the first time and 6 months the second time).
also, after having a baby you need time to recover and adjust (physically and emotionally).
Having said that, it would be nice if fathers could take a bit more time off, say six months each.

[nappyaddict]

i think it should be parental leave and you can split it between you how you want. so you could both have 6 months off together, or one could have 3 months and the other could have 9 months or whatever.

[ghosty]

Personally, I think pregnancy is sexist.

[ghosty]

"I demand my right, as a man, to have babies!"
The Young Ones - 1980 somthing ....

[UCM]

Doesn't matter how equally society tries to treat people, men cannot have babies or breastfeed them, so no, I don't think it's sexist.

[mozhe]

The only way that women are going to break through glass ceilings,( yes I know some of you will say that you don't want to...but if childcare was much more affordable/higher quality generally and/or your DH was caring for your baby ?), is to be more committed and present in the workplace. If the 6 months was divided equally between parents,( or other family carers..),and there were financial incentives for taking it in this way. Plus affordable/quality childcare that was available from birth ? Imo maternity leave before the birth is not always needed perhaps you should have to provide a doctor's/midwife's note to take time off beforehand...after all most people are not ill.

[Nbg]

FFS

Not everyone wants to go back to work the second they have delivered the placenta.
Some women actually want to stay at home rather than stick their kids in childcare and fuck off back to work.

[Blackduck]

So you would like to 'force' all women to work up to their due date? How about if they actually started labour whilst still at work?? FGS! I went on maturnity leave 2 days before ds was born, but that was MY choice, and I wasn't half side of house/uncomfortable or what ever.....

[Angeliz]

It would be if men could get pregnant but until then, this is the daftest thread title i've ever read!

[kslatts]

I agree nbg that not all women want to go back to work while they have young children, but shouldn't fathers have the same right when they have young children.

I think maternity leave should be parental leave giving parents the choice, if I decide to have another child then I think it would ge great to spend 6 months off and then dh spend 6 months off.

[twentypence]

It's called parental leave here (NZ) and either parent can take it, or you can split it and have some each. I think this reflects better that different families will have different needs, for instance if you adopt then breastfeeding and recovering from a birth would not be an issue.

It does depend on the mother being employed though - so in that way it is sexist. Same sex couples are not subject to the same rule, nor are adoptive parents I don't think.

[Nbg]

Oh yes, I agree that fathers should have the same choice. If they want to stay at home or it is better for that family to do so then ys, it should be able to happen.

Its the attitude that we should go back to work asap.

Its a load of shit.

[Blackduck]

Dino - same here - I went back after four months....needs must and all that......

[twentypence]

So mazhe - in answer to your question - no, making it available for dads makes little difference to what actually happens. Dh did take 6 weeks leave (unpaid as I had lost my job at 17 weeks pg) and his company kept trying to put it through as holiday. He had to keep sending emails to point out he wanted to keep his holiday for a holiday.

[hippmummy]

"Instead of trying to make maternity leave longer should we not focus on supporting parents back into work sooner and providing better/cheaper/more appropriate childcare..."

I don't understand why it has to be either/or. Both options should be available so people can do whatever they choose to do.

[kslatts]

dinosaur - not all women choose to breastfeed

angeliz - obviously a couple could not have a baby and the woman not take any maternity leave, but if it was parental leave the mother could take some time off and the father could then take time off when she returns to work

It would give parents more choices

[Angeliz]

Yes i hadn't thought it through. Point taken (but the thread title still seems mad )

[mozhe]

That's a very angry post nbg....
Why shouldn't women work up until their due date ? Would it be so terrible if labour started at work,( it's rarely very dramatic at the beginning...), two of mine have.You can take it a bit easier,( but still get some work done ),but afterall you don't take sick leave because you are anticipating an illness....I have never taken a single day off before the birth, however one person in my team took about 3 months as she ended up having it 3 weeks late.It was ridiculous as she was a perfectly healthy/first baby...and annoyingly popped in virtually every day just for some company !
Also you can breastfeed and work fulltime, I have done it and many others too....a combination of expressing and feeding more at weekends is usually pretty sufficient.There's far too much hogwash/mystery around breastfeeding...it is an easy, natural thing to do.I always say to myself,' there is no other alternative so you've got to make it work '. You also have to eat/drink properly too.It is not difficult, you do not need yeras off,lying around on a heap of pillows in order to breastfeed properly...

[Eleusis]

Moze, I agree with you here. I think men should also get 6 weeks at 90%. So long as men don't get paternity leave paid at the same right women get maternity leave paid, they will not take it. And not until they start taking the same amount of time off for a new baby, will women be treated equally at work.

[Nbg]

Mozhe, sorry but your posts really are getting to me.

To make a blazhe comment that "breastfeeding is easy", well bollocks to that.
It is not easy.

As for your colleague, well if she wanted to take time off then so what. That is what she wanted to do. Women have the choice of taking their leave from 28 weeks. If thats what they want, then so be it.

Fact of life and I said this on the SAHM/WOHM thread thats going atm.

Some women are fortuante to stay off work and bring their children up, some are not and have to work. Some people actually want to go back to work.
Either way it is a good thing now that women have this option. They decide what is best for their family.


But all I'm hearing off you Mozhe is that women should be going to work not staying at home.

[thehairybabysmum]

Not sure about breastfeeding being easy!!? Not the case for everyone, think yourseld lucky if this was the case for you.

My understanding of the recent changes to parental leave is that out of the 9 months paid leave now given, fathers are entitled to take 3 months of this (paid also). Surely this is the government at least trying to make things parental rather than maternal focused.

However given that women do physically give birth/feed then i think they should get longer off then men in the initital weeks/months.

Surely we should just be thankful to live in a country where we do have a lot of choice and that you are allowed a decent amount of time off that is protected in law. Obviously if you wish to return to work 2 weeks after the birth and forgo time at home with the new baby then you are perfectly entitled to do this too.