New mother/flexible working hours/return to work/grievance advice needed please

[PavlovtheCat]

Oh dear this is long, complicated and well, impossible right now.
I shall be as brief as possible and try not to ramble.
Prior to maternity leave in June I had some disputes with a memeber of staff, and some decisions made regarding my job/position at work/materrnity leave. I spent the last year trying to resolve, before returning to work in Feb after 6 months mat leave and 6 weeks annual leave. During this time, issues developed, and things occured, which I considered to be sex discrimination on grounds of pregnancy/maternity leave. I tried on numerous occasions to resolve the issues amicably without going down formal grievance route, as time consuming/stressful, just about to have a baby, advised by union rep not to do it for these reasons.

My mum was diagnosed with cancer in April/May, confirmed as terminal in May. Baby due in July, complications with pregnany, minor but stressful nonetheless.

After LO was born, job stuff changed again, measures in place through union were ignored, but I had so much stuff going on could not face formal route. Conitnued to try to resolve amicably.

In Jan this year my mum died. I was given 10 days compassionate leave, extended from 3 after I commented on the short amount. This was added on to annual leave.

In January I also put in formal complaint, after advice from a union member (unofficial) who said that although technically out of time, I had extenuating circumstances. My complaint was not dealt with or acknowledged for a while, and then mum died so was left for a bit, then I was telephoned to say an 'investigation' was taking place and I would be placed in a specific team until investigation dealt with. Nothing in writing, nothing formal.

So. Thats were we are. So, I contacted my 'temporary' line manager and asked to meet to discuss return to work. I have been off for almost a year in total to discuss phased return (I had been promised this) and to discuss changing hours under family friendly policy/flexible working hours....

Ok, its getting too long and complicated. To cut a long story a bit shorter. I had a home visit from line manager, HR advisor who was part of my complaint and a useless union rep after being signed off sick for in total 6 weeks. I felt pressured to state that I intended to return to work at the end of this sick note, and I was told the following:
There are no legal obligations to allow me time to breastfeed my baby even though she wont take a bottle, however I will be given an hour per day and any other time I will have to make up. LO will be in nursery so I will have to take another hour per day of my own time to go and feed her.
As my position was temporary, there was no scope for me to work from home one day per week to deal with the issue of breastfeeding (nursery next to my house, only an issue one/two days per week).
There was not way of determining when I would be placed into a permanent position, as it depended on the outcome of the grivance, and if I appealed the decision it would be held up even further. I felt this to be a 'suggestion' that if I wanted it dealt with more quickly I should accept the findings. This decision was up to the ACO and no-one else.
Although I can in usual circumstances be considered for flexible working (I want to do longer hours, shorter days), this cannot really be done whilst I am in a temp team, as whatever hours are agreed might not be appropriate for another teams operational needs. I would not be able to change my hours until the grivance has been concluded.
No-one brought a copy of the family friendly policy with them.

Basically, it feels like, as I have made a complaint I will be shoved in a team that is unable to provide any flexible working for me as a new mother. It feels like that as I have complained I am being made to suffer, like they are saying, deal with the greivance quickly and you can get back to working with a permanent role, and get your working choices considered, if you appeal, you are stuck in limbo.

Any advice/ideas/guidance? Its been going on for a year now and I still have no job of my own.

[PavlovtheCat]

Sorry its stupidly long, and probably not edited properly, if it makes no sense, tell me

[PavlovtheCat]

oh and have never had anything official regarding my complaint, other than acknowledgement of letter received, and the information I have been told about interviews regarding the 'investigation' are heresay. It had been longer than the 20 days I thought grievances had to be conducted within, and it is not due to be concluded until at least May, on the assumption I do not appeal any decision.

[chocolatekimmy]

Thats a very long complicated post, not everyone may get to the end of it!

I'm very sorry about your mum, I can't imagine what you have gone throug with that. I just hope you are getting loads of pleasure out of being a mum to a lovely little girl.

Can you clarify please

What days/hours did you work before mat leave and what are you requesting now? Also the contract you have (temp?)

It sounds as though you need to make a formal grievance, in writing, as per the company policy. You should list in order, each event giving as much description as possible.

You also need to have in your mind a resolution - an outcome of what you want done in light of what has happened.

Ask yourself the questions

Are some of the historical things still relevant - do they really need to be dealt with

Would an acknowledgement be suffice in some areas.

What action do you think could be taken to help resolve the issues

At this stage I think you both need to draw a line in the sand about how things have (or have not) been dealt with in the past year. Seriously think about what is affecting your role/relationships at work now (pending your return). Think of what you will accept and be realistic with your expectations. You have to be practical about what can be done to really resolve it and let you move forward.

They sound like they have been pretty crap in dealing with things.

In addition to this, ensure you make a correct application under flexible working - this should be dealt with as a separate issue.

They are correct to say they don't have to give time off to allow you to breastfeed - they are being extemely reasonable allowing you an hour a day, not to mention allowing you other unpaid time to go and breastfeed.

My first wouldnt' take a bottle, I even had a bit of a breakdown over it (was the final straw amongst other things)after about 5 days of refusing to bf her at certain feeds and chucked loads of precious expressed milk out. Finally got there but went through hell.

Bear in mind that at this age and as she gets older her feeds in the day will reduce gradually and she can have cows milk as a drink at about a year. I have a similar dilema in that I am due back to work and don't want to use formula for the 2 whole days I am at work. Advice from hv and on here is that she will probably be better off (and cope easily) without milk during the day - just to feed her last thing when I drop her off and as soon as I pick up and make sure she has cheese/milky puddings/yoghurt ect in the day and water to drink. I would say don't get too hung up on it as she gets older. Alternatively, if its so crucial to you, you will have to consider not returning to work which will mean you will probably have to resign and look for alternative employment in the future.

[PavlovtheCat]

chocolate - thanks for your response, you are right, it is far too long winded, I just got so stressed by it, think I needed to write it down. I have actually spoken to ACAS yesterday afternoon who gave me some good advice. As in fact I have not actually been given the opp to request flexible working in writing according to the correct procedures (as you say I need to also), I need to request that this been done as matter of urgency. It has been 'suggested' that if they are refusing to allow flexible working to be considered on the basis of being in a temp team, due to grievance being put in, this cannot be done, they have to consider my request in the same manner as any other mother returning to work. The fact that I may appeal is irrelevant snd I shuld not be made to feel this is a 'threat', that nothing can be put in place until greivance is resolved, ie done quickr if I do not appeal. Therefore, if I put my request in writing, I can then have formal meeting to discuss and official reasons need to be given as to why my hours might not suit/discussion to see if alterntives can be made that we are all happy with.
So, I have done this now, via my union, requested that the forms be sent asap so I can do this officially.

With regards to the breastfeeding. I did another thread yesterday actually about how much formula my LO should have, and as you said, lots of people said that my LO might not actually need formula in the day anyway. She started, yesterday to take around 3oz twice, from a grippy bottle (v independent girl). So if this is likely to be enough, it may be that we can forgo on the need to BF during the day completely, thus resolving one issue at least. Not counting our chickens as she has done this before then stopped again, but will see how it goes.

I cannot afford to leave work. bought a house prior to finding out I was pregnant, maxed out financially, and earn far more than my DP (although are considering him reducing to 2 days, possibly).

Thank you so much for your response. I know it was hard to read, and I promise no more long posts after this one!!!

Fingers crossed it gets resolved soon, and good luck yourself with returning to work

[PavlovtheCat]

oh sorry and to clarify - I was on 37 hours previously, and have requested that initialy I do 37 hours over 4 days, with a view to considering reducing to 30-32 over 3 - 3.5 days (or 36 over 3 days, but that is pushing it!).

[Tamdin]

hi pav. Found you on here.What a hard time you've had. So sorry about your mum. you must miss her very much.
I'm not much use with work situation other then to say choc's advice seems sensible. you need to put everything you want from them in writing and take it from there.
Thinking of you. See you on SIFTW soon x

[chocolatekimmy]

Good to hear you sounding a bit more positive today.

You don't have to wait for forms or anything for flex working. Any written format must be accepted by them - letter or e-mail - so long as you clearly state that you are formally applying under flexible working and that you have child under 6 and the reason for the request is to care for that child. They also don't have to give you an opportunity or tell you that you can apply - it is your responsibility to apply if you wish.

They don't have the right to delay it because of the grievance, it should be kept completely separately. They can ask for the time limits to be extended but you have to agree and that would be if someone was on holiday or off sick or something.

So why don't you go ahead and write a letter and send it in. They can't reject it. They then have 28 days from the day they recieve it to hold a meeting with you to discuss it and then after the meeting 14 days to let you know their decision so it could be at least 6 weeks for an answer then there is 14 days appeal and 14 days for them to arrange another meeting and so it can drag on.

There is loads of advice on dss and acas and places like that for drafting and what you need to cover. Try and justify how it could be accomodated in your view, i.e.: how will they cover the work in the times you are not there.

[PavlovtheCat]

thanks for this. Easy to get how theybwould work cover whe I am not there,...I see clients, so if I am not there, I dont book them in. full time would mean I would do the work in the hours I am in the office. Lots of paperwork too so no biggie if office is closed!

Its not that they have not given me the opp to apply, its more that they are trying to put me off aplying, they know that I have little information about how it works, and as such they are sort of 'moving' me in the direction that suis them. However, now I know that I can apply for it without the forms, I will do so.

Also, just out of interest, to see what you think...
I would like to do 12 hour days x 3, therefor poss drop 1 hour per week. My work is made up appointments and paperwork generated from these appts. The office is closed at 6:00pm on a monday and 7pm other days, so 12 hours at work would not be poss. There is remote access option as other people work from home. Do you think it is a long shot to request they consider leting me work say three hours a day, for two days, at home? I can, and they can evidence that there would sufficient work to do in this time (to be honest I would get more done in the evening if no-one around to hassle me).
So say,
Mon 8am - 6:00pm at work (9.5hrs), then 2.5 hours working from home in the evening
Tues & Wed 8am - 7pm (10.5 hours), then 1.5 hrs working from home.
Before I went on maternity leave, I often spent the following morning catching up from late night appts anyway, so I could do this at home

A thought, that would be nice to get some ideas on whether this is expecting too much?

[PavlovtheCat]

oh, and 6 weeks aint so bad, as I am on a phased return for 5 weeks anyway.

[PavlovtheCat]

OMG, so, I fired off a couple of emails, requesting someinfo, clarifcation, letting them know I intended to bypass their proposals and apply for return to work now not in 5 weeks. I also 'suggested' that I would not be bullied into making a decision re an appeal against my greivance, in order to get a team sorted more quickly, and to get flexible working hours.

|S. I just had a call from union. I have been offered a position, within the team i originaly requested, a good strong team with excellent line management and staff, phased return applies, flexible working arrangements apply (as we aleady know!) and it is permanent.
So, hard ball. pays off in the end. The right will win in the end. {smug emoticon needed].

[Cloudhopper]

I was just feeling really concerned that I couldn't really get the gist of your OP to respond, and then I got to the end and you have resolved it positively.

Well done - really pleased it has worked out

[PavlovtheCat]

cloud, it was too long winded to expect people to reply, was sounding off more than anything , thanks for responding tho, appreciated .
Not there yet, not counting chickens and all, but so far, so good!

[chocolatekimmy]

That sounds good news. Let me know if you need any more help.

The proposal you suggested for your hours (36 pw) and some work from home sounded ok. If you can justify how the work can be managed around that they will find it difficult to reject it. Just think about travel time home and also if you can manage a day that is that long.

[PavlovtheCatthatgottheCremeEgg]

chocolate - I think I can do the long hours. bI used to work 12-13 hours, as although office is tehcnically shut, often some would stay behind and lock up to get work finshed, thats why I know there is the work to do at home. The tying up of lose ends. I will see what happens!