When to tell new employer about pregnancy

(8 Posts)
CaptainWentworth Tue 09-Aug-16 07:29:47

Just that really- I have been offered a great job in that it's at the same professional level as my current role but 4 days a week and office based rather than client facing. I am finding my current job really bad for my mental health because of the lack of stability resulting from working in different places at different clients all the time, and with an ever changing team. Basically new job has most of the good bits but none of the bad bits. Because of the better work life balance in the new job, a large majority of the team are parents.

I had already handed in my notice at my current job before I even had the interview for the new one, as I couldn't stand it any longer. DH can cover the mortgage without me, so I was planning to take a bit of time out to recover and find the right role for the future.

We also started TTC in May, but expected it to take a long time, as that has been the experience of my friends in the same situation. We're both 33 and didn't want to leave it any longer. However I discovered I was in fact pregnant already last week, just after I had the final interview for the new job.

I found out I'd got it at the end of last week, and had a phone call yesterday to offer me T&Cs, which I said I was very happy with, although not signed anything yet.

I really want to take the job as it is so much more family friendly than my old one. I know I may not be entitled to much maternity pay, but I'm ok with that- I have no option anyway having given notice already.

I'm 6 weeks now, I think, although I've not even been to the doctors yet- couldn't get a booking in appointment until next week, the 18th. It doesn't feel real to me yet, and we've not told anyone at all. I feel I have a moral obligation to tell the new employer, but it feels so weird to do that when I've not even told my mum yet! We were planning to wait until 12 weeks ish to tell family- and I'm still scared it won't even last that long.

The earliest I could start new job would be 19 September, so would be around the 12 week mark then.

What would you do?

(Sorry this is so long! blush )

flowery Tue 09-Aug-16 07:54:40

What do you think/expect them to do with that information?

CaptainWentworth Tue 09-Aug-16 08:09:49

Feel reassured that I'm being honest with them? Avoid any unpleasantness once I start the job?

I googled the question in the title and found a Guardian article with loads of comments saying the moral thing to do would be tell the employer ASAP and that women who didn't were liars that were pushing employment laws to the limit...

My instinct would be to tell them at 12 ish weeks when we tell everyone else, but I'm worried that's the wrong thing to do.

BikeRunSki Tue 09-Aug-16 08:18:33

Take the job.
Tell them when you start.
You could easily not know by now, or the pg might not stick (sorry).

Good luck with job and pg.

CaptainWentworth Tue 09-Aug-16 08:20:50

Don't say sorry- I think that's the sensible approach!

Just quite disconcerted that so many people seem to think that would be a dishonest way of managing it.

Thanks for the good wishes flowers

YorkieDorkie Tue 09-Aug-16 08:32:23

You've no obligation to tell them until you know you're out of the danger zone and I'd take any employer out if they made my job uncomfortable because I didn't tell them before 12 weeks. You don't even have to tell them then! I think my employers policy was that they should be informed 11 weeks before due date or something similar.

flowery Tue 09-Aug-16 09:21:18

The people who think it would be 'dishonest' are the people who think that information is relevant before an offer of a job is made, therefore think it's ok to discriminate and not offer a job because of pregnancy.

Even if you are one of those people, an offer has already been made, so unless you think it would be ok for them to break the law and withdraw the offer, there is no reason to tell them now. You wouldn't normally tell your employer until 12 weeks anyway, so it wouldn't be 'dishonest' not to tell them sooner than you otherwise would.

if you were much further along in your pregnancy, you might choose to tell them before you start purely to give them the maximum chance of sorting out maternity cover etc. But that isn't the case so there is nothing they can do with that information.

BikeRunSki Tue 09-Aug-16 16:51:37

Think of it another way - would you tell them if you were waiting to find out if we might need medical treatment that would require a lot of time off?

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