My DH and his new boss... this could be a big whine!

[ELF1981]

DH has been working at his place of employement for three years now. Originally he was training to be an engineer. While I was on maternity leave (our dd is 15 months old now) he transferred from the tools to the office as a salesman.

A few months ago, the current boss (my dad, which kind of complicated matters a little!) stepped down (retiring this year) and a new boss was brought in.

Obviously I hear things from both my dad and DH, but I really feel that this woman is over stepping the line and treating my DH unfairly.

She has:

• refused to let him have half a day off work to meet the insurance company after we were burgled without having it unpaid, but let another member of staff 'work from home' when his house was broken into (DH wasn't even offered this but the other guy was).
  
• rearrange meetings so that they clash for when he is due to pick me/dd up.
  
• requested that he pick dd up and return back to the office with her to discuss matters after standard work hours as it suited her.
  
• kicked him out the office when he was eating chips, but didn't bat an eyelid at the two members of staff eating chips the following day.
  
  Among other things.
  
  Today he has told me that on Thursday he might not be able to pick dd up from the cm as she has rearranged a meeting which will now not finish until six, and has question section after so he may not get home until seven. This is on a day that she knows I am at college, and on top of that it is two hours past his finishing time (when he went into the office he negotiated hours to work eight til half four, as I work eight til four and walk down to meet him).
  
  I cannot skip college on Thurs as it is a week before my devolved assessment and I cannot afford the time off (forgive spelling mistakes in this as I should be studying and not time to proof read properly!!). She has told DH that we should have some emergency facilities to look after dd (my mum works shifts, my dad works at the same place as dh, my sisters work shifts, dh's family not always that reliable) and that my dh should be at the meeting regardless of what I / DD need.
  
  While I appreciate that he should be attending meetings I feel that she maybe does not understand what it is like to have a family or a young child (she lives alone).
  
  DH cannot work out if he is being over sensitive. I feel that she is out of line somtimes.
  
  Am I being too sensitive? What would you suggest?

[ELF1981]

ooops, didn't realise this was so long!
I will check back later, must study for a bit!

[dassie]

Is there an HR department he can speak to? Sounds a little like bullying - could she resent him because her predecessor was your Dad? Maybe she is trying to get him to 'prove' himself because of it.

[ELF1981]

Thanks for reading.

I have suggested to DH that he goes to HR about it. He says that he is going to see how it goes, but I would prefer him to do something before it blows up in his face iyswim

[dassie]

These things can escalate if left too long. What do his colleagues think?

He should also document the times he feels she has asked him to do something unreasonable (like the chips) and details of all meetings, what he said and what she replied.

Just because he is a man doesn't mean he doesn't have family responsibilities. if the genders were reversed I think people would consider it sexist (not that I'm suggesting your husband goes down that route).

[ELF1981]

she has also told him he is "stupid" because he struggles with his writing, and when he said no when she suggested a night course, she called him lazy. He pointed out that I'm at college / studying four nights a week, but she said he was just making excuses.

other colleagues has picked up on it too

[dassie]

He should definitely see HR and ask his colleagues if they will back him up.

Has he been doing the job for long? Criticising his writing style seems odd if he has done the job with no problems for a while. It looks to me like she is building a list of things to hold against him (not willing to work late, poor writing etc).

He needs to see HR before she messes up his career prospects. Could he ask to transfer to a different department?

[Carmenere]

I would guess that this woman is keen to stamp her own mark on the new job and that she sees your dh as an example of the 'past' because of his relationship to the ex boss. I would guess that she wants rid of him and is hoping to make him ask for a transfer.
I think he should write down everything she has done that he thinks is unfair and go and discuss the problem with hr.

[dassie]

Any update?

[ELF1981]

dassie - huge update
looks like dh will be forced out the job
drafted a letter for mn's to see if it's okay, will post a link

[ELF1981]

here