Worried about my absence rate

[Kaylasmum49]

Hi, I have 2 jobs, 1 I've worked in for 24 years and the other one for 4 months.

I was absent from my 24 year one around the 6th of April, then again around 5th of May. Went back for one shift and was then signed off for two weeks. The first absence was a chest infection, then I had flu and now I'm suffering from anxiety. I have health anxiety and I'm having a really bad time with it. I want to get back to work but my gp has given me diazepam to help with the anxiety, I'm barely eating and have lost a considerable amount of weight in the last three weeks, almost a stone. I feel very anxious when I leave the house.

My other job is a dinner lady in a school, started there on the 11th of January. I was off around the beginning of February as my ds was unwell and I had no one to look after him. My next absence was when I had flu, back 3 days and signed off. There was one day in April that I turned up at work but was very distressed as my mentally ill ds had been admitted to the psychiatric unit and he was begging me to go and see him, my boss told me to go, that I couldn't work when I was so upset and I made up the time by going in early to work so not sure if that will count as an absence or not.

I have to see my gp tomorrow about whether I'm ok to go back, but tbh I'm not sure. I'm worried that if I go back now when I'm not ready that I'll have to be off again if I can't cope. I have been on citalopram for 12 years and my gp wants to try something different, so I'm also concerned about side effects of a new medication.

I really am worried that they could sack me and part of me is saying, "just pull yourself together and get on with it" but I want to be able to cope and if I'm bursting into tears at the slightest thing I won't be doing my jobs well.

Sorry this is a bit rambling but I'm not thinking too clearly atm

[daisychain01]

Can you have a return to work meeting with your main employer and tell them where things are at with your health, so they know you want to get back as soon as possible.

You may be able to negotiate a phased return.

Also it may help to lift the situation in terms of lowering your anxiety if you get their support and have a target to start working even if not full time?

[Kaylasmum49]

Hi,

I spoke to someone from my main job today and explained how things are but she's not a manager so it's not really up to her to say what will happen. I think I'm more concerned about the other job as I've only been there for a short while.