in the wrong job, have no idea what im meant to do in life

(1 Post)
diamond457 Fri 20-May-16 17:53:58

What a mess. I walked out of my job in Feb due to horrendous bullying and harassment. I couldn't face it anymore. I saw a lawyer but I couldn't take them for constructive dismissal due to lack of proof, it was my boss who was the bully so she hid things very well. I'm gutted. She used to set me up to fail, ignore me and talk down about me behind my back and leave me with a massive work load knowing I couldn't complete the work.
Fast forward to now I took the first job I got offered. I took on a care job and thought I'd be able to do it fine because I have been good at working with people. Today made me realise I'm not a good fit, I had to take someone out with dementia and learning problems and it was just awful, I hated it.
I'm in tears because he was so lovely and deserved to have someone well suited and a people person but I failed.
I felt embarrassed when he shouted in the shops and he kept putting his arm around me and wanting to play, I found it really uncomfortable. I feel awful about it, I really do.
I obviously know I'm not for this job, the pay is rubbish and I keep having to fork out for petrol to far away places with no allowance, insure car for business has cost me an extra tenner a month. It's not worth it.

I have no idea where to turn or what to do. The job I had before was the only family suitable job in my trained field. I need to retrain but I don't have the money to do so. I'm totally stuck.
I know walking out was totally my fault but it really was the straw that broke the camels back that day. I can't claim benefits or sign on because my partner earns over the threshold but I need to work!! Or we will be skint.

I'm so upset and dreading going back to the care job because I feel I'm just not the right person and I felt at the time that I would manage fine but I couldn't cope and it will only get worse.
I feel like such a failure, trapped and upset that I don't even have the ability to work with vulrenable people who are none the less lovely.
I feel like I've lost myself, don't know who I am or what I'm meant to be.

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