Told to toughen up. How do I?

[flowerfairy]

Been told this at work. Can I change and become tougher? Any advice is most welcome. TIA

[Longdistance]

In what context was it meant?

What type of industry are you in?

[ABetaDad1]

I think you might need to give us some context.

If you are a meat porter at Smithfield then the degree of 'toughening up' is likely a bit different from working on the cosmetics counter at Boots.

[flowerfairy]

Teaching. To get up to the next payscale.

[Lunar1]

Do you want to change for the role?

[TomTomKitten]

It's very easy for someone to tell you to 'toughen up' but in reality it takes time. I've toughened up a lot but it has been over a period of years and I've had to deal with some very testing work situations in the process.

My advice would be... Be who you are and play to your strengths. Do you want to do and act how you feel is appropriate to the situation. If you are trying to be someone else you will lack congruence.

[annandale]

Implies that you are currently weak in some way. Do you think that's true? Is it a kind of weakness that could be regarded as a positive, such as helping colleagues, being flexible?

[IWasHereBeforeTheHack]

I toughened up only through experience, which was having a controlling and unsupportive boss (I could do nothing right) at the same time as managing a team who thought I wasn't supporting them (I was fighting their corner and protecting them from the boss's worst excesses, but they couldn't see it) while I was having to manage one of them out the door, and trying to maintain team morale at the same time .... a great combination, I'm sure you'll agree.

Apart from that I think it's about standing up for your own standards and principles, removing the personal aspect of situations (ie it's not about you, it's not about them) and staying focused on the processes, and on the end result that you are all striving for.

[Sparklycat]

Do you mean to pass to upper pay scale? In what context did they mean toughen up? I.e does it relate to classroom management?

[waddleandtoddle]

Ive been confused by this before. I was told to get some grit, toughen up and Id get further in my career. Ultimately (and its taken a long time) I found that meant I was quiet and didnt put my ideas forward/make friends. But now I am in a company that recognises my introvert character and now I am rising the ranks fast.