mental health issues and new job

[aworldofinfinitepossibilities]

Hello everyone, looking for some advice

I recently started work after a long period of unemployment, I really needed/need the job from a financial standpoint, I'm a LP and it's the only job offer I got in 7 months, and for a job that seems like a good one so far

I lied on a form when I first started. The form asked whether there were any outstanding investigations, including mental health ones, and I put no, which wasn't true. I had seen a psychologist and was being referred to another one, and had been told that I have aspergers/adhd traits, possible personality disorder but more likely the former

I haven't said anything to my new employer since. They do seem to be positive about mental health in general, but I feel like I can't take the chance and confide in them, I don't want to jeopardise my job and I worry that if I told them about the potential diagnosis they would find a way to get me back out of the door (even if they didn't specify it was because of the aspergers/adhd), for example piling wor on me and citing performance issues

I've had to put the diagnosis on hold, because the health team only do the assessments on week days when I work and I haven't wanted to ask for time off or take sick days so early in the job. So unfortunately I couldn't attend an appointment I had waited for for months, and the local waiting list is now until about November time if I can get another appointment

What I've found in the job, is that some of my traits are showing. I'm usually ok and able to fake 'normal' at the beginning of the week, then after a few days I guess I just get tired and a bit overwhelmed by the effort it takes to process information and concentrate when interacting with people. And it's like my mask slips a little - I know I begin to come across to people as a little off/weird/stupid, probably things like my facial expressions, eye contact (or lack of), blurting little things that make me seem rather childish, talking in a monologue and getting very anxious/jittery/fidgety when talking to quite senior people. I see people notice it, the look on their faces/in their eyes changes.

My question is, what do I do, do I tell my employer anything? Do I wait and see how this pans out and affects my job/reputation at the organisation (perhaps it won't) or say something so that I can e.g. introduce myself as someone who needs more understanding (e.g. comes across as odd sometimes but please ignore my communication style and eccentricities), and hope that the organisation (a large, semi-public one)will behave in an ethical way?

Thank you

[FindoGask]

This is a tough one! How long have you been there so far? It may be that as you become more comfortable in your role, you won't find it as mentally tiring and that your jitters and fidgets gradually tail off anyway.

Telling the truth on your application should not have prevented you from getting the job, but in reality it's impossible to say whether it would have done. However if you think they are a good/ethical organisation I would seriously consider disclosing now, especially as you may need time off for future investigations. If you feel you are doing your job well then it's likely they will too, and most people would understand why you didn't feel able to disclose this when you applied.

I also just wanted to say that starting a new job can be very stressful even if you don't have a diagnosed mental disorder. I developed an appalling blushing problem when I started my last job after being mostly at home with the children for four years - it was hideous: it would happen in 1:1 situations with anyone, just because I felt under scrutiny and exposed. But that got better too, thankfully.

Good luck with it.