Advice please

[Wanttotalk]

Hi all,
Going to try and keep this brief 😀

I have been in my job for over 2 yrs, I work for time for a large organisation.
I have a 6 yr old autistic daughter, sometimes I need to attend iep meetings with the school etc but always make up the time.

I feel my manager is being unreasonable. She knows the situation, I always keep her informed and make the time up. I am often in work 30 mins before I am due in and regularly work through lunch. We have a flexible working policy that lots of people in my team use. They work from home due to sick children washing machine delivery etc etc... When I ask to work from home after or before an appointment it is sometimes met with I prefer you to come in or you need to be seen. I have put up with this for quite some time. Other senior managers have asked why I never work from home and I tell them my manager doesn't like it. An example would be when the whole team works from home in a Friday but I can't because I need to be seen. Recently I challenged my manager re wfh to care for my daughter for one day in the half term she eventually agreed reluctantly after I mentioned the flexible working and Carers policy. She suggested I meet with hr to understand it fully which I did. I also told hr how I felt singled out re wfh days and felt awkward asking for 20 min appointment slots st the school. Hr said the policy is there for long term time off but u should be able to work round appointments using flexible working. A day before my manager was due to meet hr she hadacomplete turn around and whilst asking to work from home she said of course it's there to make things easier and you are at a certain level where I would expect you to manage your time, you do not need to ask me for wfh days?!?!
Anyway this week I attended a one hour lunch offsite and had a Hosp appointment to attend. I had already told her about the appointment she agreed but said keep them out of hours going forward. After my appointment I logged in to an email and an invite to discuss my timekeeping! My extended lunch that I had not told her about and my leaving the office without telling her (Hosp appointment).

I feel like she is trying to intimidate me and make things difficult for me. My timekeeping is excellent. I have become so anxious and upset dreading the meeting when I have done nothing wrong. It has spoilt my whole weekend.

Any advise would be welcome

Thanks in advance.

[Becca19962014]

I suggest you emotionally keep your distance at the meeting (easier said than done!)

You need to ask why exactly you need to be seen in the office when your colleagues are allowed to work from home (I'm assuming you do similar work and there is no obvious reason for you to need to be there).

Explain in the future you will keep all communication regarding hospital appointments (explain it isn't always possible for them to be outside working hours) likewise appointments with the school and will expect them to be accepted or declined via written response and if declined with a reason for this.

Do you keep track of your working hours? I suggest you open a spreadsheet and put in there your start and finish times every day morning and afternoon. That way you can show how much you are in work and make up time/have time in lieu for appointments that cannot be arranged outside work times.

Keeping it professional and logged will mean if there are future problems you can take them to HR.

That's what I'd do anyway.

[Wanttotalk]

Thanks Becca, useful advise. I will try and keep it as calm and professional as possible when I meet her. It's stressed me out no end this weekend, I feel like just crying and going back to bed.
I sent emails whenever I have an appointment and diary invites for wfh days. That's a great suggestion re the spreadsheet I am going to start today. Hr came back and said I need to keep her informed with diary invites which I already do. It seems to becoming very petty and I just want to get on and do my job without worrying I am doing something wrong all the time

Thanks again,

[Becca19962014]

I hope it goes well!