It just gets worse, advice would be nice!

[threelittlepumpkins]

Following on from my thread a couple of weeks ago here I have yet again had an awful day.
My boss asked to see me in his office, to give me feedback from my observation last week. It was satisfactory, nothing more. When he raised points that he thought were badly done, I tried to answer and explain myself, but he just kept saying "well this is what I observed" so no opportunity to answer him.
Then he started to talk about the issues from the other week (apparently students in one of my classes not being happy with my teaching) and he had a typed list of a4 of points that have been made about me. He kept referring to time and classroom management as being my biggest problems. He ran through some of the points, but didnt show me the list. When I again tried to speak up for myself and answer, as some of the things said weren't true, he cut me off and said "I'll write this up and then you can respond to it"
Amongst the "accusations"- I start lessons late, finish early and leave the room for long periods during lessons. I make people face the wall. The students can't relate to me. I am not able tocontrol a class. My resources and materials are not good enough. I could go on...
I ended up getting upset in front of him, and he just looked at me, a mixture of pity and disgust. I don't know where to go from here. The worst part for me is that I had thought it was just one class, and the others are doing really well, but he claims that "most of" my students are unhappy with the way I teach.
I told him what I have been doing since my last thread/problems to try and improve myself, but that I feel unsupported and undermined. He just looked at me. He would not answer me on any point. He claims it is not formal yet! It certainly feels it
I was feeling that I had to stay for the academic year, to get my teaching qualification- now I just want to leave and never go back. I didn't think I was a bad teacher, but I am starting to wonder.
I also said I don't have the experience to be able to deal with things, and that they knew that when they employed me- again he didn't respond. Mentioned the students' behaviour- apparently I must be doing something to make them misbehave. I should be able to manage them, but when I have tried to discipline them, and got personal tutors involved, that is wrong too- I should deal with it myself. But not be confrontational. And not be too jokey about it. Basically I think he thinks I shouldn't need to manage it, because it shouldn't even arise as a problem.
What to do....... HATE myself for feeling like this about work, when I know in the grand scheme of things it isn't important, but I haven't been able to eat I have felt so sick over it. Oh and my class have been little sods today too. Have to go back tomorrow.

[threelittlepumpkins]

God sorry that is impossible to read!
It didn't look like that when I previewed, sorry

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

So, has he polled all your students then as to whether they think you are a good teacher? (Totally wrong IMO). Or have they all gone off and complained about you off their backs? (Highly unlikely, IMO).

You need to type up your own A4 list of issues, and ask questions as to how they have assessed your performance based on students comments and one afternoons observations? How are the students performing?

I think you need to find out from other teachers how they handle things ie disciplinary issues, there are loads of teachers on MN - do a separate thread.

Maybe you arent cut out for teaching, but, whether you are or not is irrelevant - you arent getting much support or backing from them at the moment.

[threelittlepumpkins]

Thanks QV, that's what I thought! And what all my friends and family are telling me, but I just have no confidence in myself atm.

Re the classroom management thing- I have tried everything that all my colleagues have suggested, and not just once. Feel that they just want me out of the job.

[threelittlepumpkins]

My mum has suggested I speak to HR,Union Rep and Occupational Health but I'm not sure what to do.

[incy]

Speak to your union rep immediately - if they are not available call the regional office. Get them to speak to HR on your behalf and arrange a meeting with yourself, HR and the union rep to discuss this problem. Your boss does not sound a sensitive/nice person and I am willing to bet that once the union get involved and start asking what he/she is doing to help you improve and what support he/she is providing you with he will back off and become nice as anything (I am a 6th form teacher and have seen this happen a million times!). Whatever you do, do not leave. Stay and complete your teaching qualification as you will probably be able to complete all the assignments/observations by Easter (I know I did). I know it is hard but you really need to start standing up for yourself via the union (let them do it - they will say all the things you want to and more, believe me.) Once you show them that you are not alone and someone else is getting involved and asking questions they will back off. Good luck and please speak to the union today - let them take this forward on your behalf.

[Pixiefish]

Personally I'd ring your union.

I'm a teacher and it's fairly common for new teacher's to have a hard time in their first term as they settle in. I think you need to come down fairly hard on the students and show them how you meant to go on.

As for your HOD I do think he's being unreasonable. He should definetly be supporting you rather than criticising you. Is this your first year teaching?

[Freckle]

Do you have a contract? Do you have a written statement of what is expected of you and what your employers will do in return? Can you see if they are doing what they are expected to do?

If you can show that they are falling down in their own areas of responsibility, it might take some of the pressure off of you.

[incy]

What happened today? Do you feel any better threelittlepumkins?

[threelittlepumpkins]

Thanks to you all for your replies! I read them quickly during my break at work, and it helped a lot.

Today has been much better. Despite not sleeping last night (a cold/teething baby/vomit inducing worry).

Went into work and chatted to a couple of colleagues- one of whom told me she is in the same position with one of her classes and had also been hauled into CM's office and had a list written about her. 'Phoned HR from staffroom- didn't care who heard- and asked for copy of contract, disciplinary procedure, grievance procedure and occupational health no (they wouldnt give me the latter but are supposedly posting the rest to me)

Lessons went very well indeed- students telling me they enjoyed both yesterday and today's classes.

Arranged to meet union rep after classes. Before this, course manager who had chatted to me a couple of weeks ago (in my first thread) came and had a talk with me. He wanted to let me know that it is not all the students, as knobhead curriulum mgr made out, in fact it is restricted to my difficult class. He said this should have been clarified. Well yes, because I was particularly gutted that a class I thought I had a good rapport with had complained about me, which is what cm led me to believe. He also said students who have voiced concerns have since said they are happier (big of them! but restraining myself) and others have sung my praises. It was the course mgr who compiled the list- not the students- and he couldn't understand why I had not been shown it.

Met Union Rep at v short notice, who is a lovely kindly man and gave me advice even though am not yet a union member (am about to join online in a sec). We are a v large college, so have a Bullying and Harassment Team, so he went out of his way to introduce me to one of them who has also given me lovely, kind and supportive advice and told me he will attend my next meeting with me.

Am already in process of being referred to specialist for possible metabolic stress-related condition- have got bad IBS, skin, possibly asthma etc etc so could get GP to get occy health involved as HR unwilling. Rep advised not to involve HR as have him, and other guy to help- HR really out to protect interests of the college.

Have seen CM today who has blanked me- nice. Also when I was upset yesterday he practically threw me out of his office in tears and I had to walk through department office full of students (thankfully none of mine, but they do talk)

Rep and Harassment guy both think have good case for grievance and are 100% on my side. Am feeling so much better about the whole thing now- regained some confidence from the nice feedback I have had. Course mgr obviously saw that it was important to try and give me this- not just focus on negatives.

I also did some major sticking up for myself and told course mgr I would appreciate support before a problem arises because I am not qualified, experienced or psychic(!) and my voice only waivered slightly once [proud emoticon]

DH is absolutely blazing, because it seems like my being made physically ill with worry and not sleeping yesterday could EASILY have been avoided by CM but he chose not to do that. Think he will get bollocked for that tbh. He was so focusing on the note I wrote to him and other senior tutor which involved a minor issue in my other class, that he made me think it was them too, and even when I pressed him said "it's a lot of students, not just your problem class" which I have found out to be blatantly untrue.

So....long update! But I feel much more positive. Am seeing PGCE tutor tomorrow, who is also v supportive.

Thank you thank you thank you to you all for your posts and advice- especially incy, here and on other thread- because they have really helped me so much, felt like I had some support behind me at work for once

Am off now until 6 Nov so will start a new thread then. Off to write down everything in minute detail [evil]

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

Oh that is fantastic TLP

excellent!

[alexsCURSEDMUMMY]

sounds really good 3lp. you go girl and stick up for yourself! cm sounds a right git.

[incy]

Threelittlepumkins I am so pleased you are feeling better - I have always found my teaching union to provide brilliant advice and to be very supportive - please don't hesitate to tell them (and the bulling rep) about anything else that happens. The main reason is that once the union start asking questions and coming along to meetings you will find that your curriculum manager will suddenly become much more helpful and supportive.

I know it sometimes feels a bit uncomfortable to get someone else involved as you start to worry about being seen as a 'trouble maker'or 'telling tales' but you really must involve the union as people like your curriculum manager rely on staff being too intimidated to say anything - he will just continue to be horrible you if you don't put it out in the open (he certainly won't want other people being aware of what a rubbish manager he is). As you have already seen, once you start telling other staff what has happened you will usually find that other teachers in the college will have experienced similar problems and that the majority of staff (like your course manager) will be horrified about what is going on and will want to help and sympathise.

Would completely agree with your union chap about HR (they ultimately will support the college interests). Get the union to speak to HR on your behalf if necessary as the union are familiar with the law and will know if HR are fobbing them off. Would also suggest booking an appointment with your GP about the stress and varoius symptoms you are experiencing as it will then be on your medical record - they can also refer you to occupational health and this means your work will be forced to do something about helping you with your stress levels. Frankly going to work when you are looking after a young baby is hard enough without all of this c**p at work !

Would say that if there are any future meetings with your curriculum manager then get the union rep to attend with you. They will say all the things you probably want to without you having to be seen as confrontational and I am willing to bet your curriculum manager will rapidly change his attitude once they are involved.

Please don't worry about your group - I have never known a class of 16/17 year olds to be totally happy about being in a classroom and all it involves. They do love to moan and complain however good and experienced you are - It's the hormones. They can't help being monsters !

Let us know how you get on - if you ever need to talk to someone don't hesitate to CAT me or post on here. Remember you are not alone (we have all been there!).

[lucy5]

Are you sure there is no ulterior motive? When i had my first job in Fe, a load of people had been made redundant and their posts had been covered by newbies like me on reduced contracts. They were bastards, they blanked me in the staffroom, gave me misinformation and once even said that the big boss of the college wanted to see me. After waiting an hour for her I finally met her and she had no idea who I was or why i was there.

[Pixiefish]

Hadn't realised you were still on your PGCE course. This does make a difference in that the college should be giving you MORE support not being so negative.

Do remember though that this sort of 'power' goes to some people's heads and they get power crazy. I do know some teachers who dislike/resent NQT's and student teachers as they see them as a threat.