Stitched myself up

(48 Posts)
LaceyLitch Tue 24-Jun-14 23:21:38

Basically I really, really hate my job. The thought of going to work makes me feel sick. I dread it and spend the hours before it counting down til I am forced to leave the house. On bad days I feel physically exhausted and keep going to the toilet discreetly to cry throughout my shift. It is not specific to the job so much but the industry, which is the only one I've ever worked in, so getting a new job won't answer the problem. I really need to go back to school/re-train, which I am looking into.

Anyway, today I really did not want to be at work and considered ringing in sick but managed to drag myself in. When I got there I realised I had left something at home which I needed to do my job, told my line manager I needed to get home to get it and he was quite angry and called me a timewaster and sent me home to get it (would take me about 20 mins to get there and back). On the way home decided I couldn't put up with going to work tonight so decided I would not return to my shift.

My work called about and 1hr later and left a voicemail which I didn't listen to. About 3 hours later I rang and said I was knocked over by a car when I was on my way home as I was rushing and didn't check the road before I crossed, that I went to hospital and I have a sprained wrist and concussion and not to work for a couple of days. Manager was sympathetic etc but asked did I get a discharge form from the hospital to which I replied no (last 2 times I've been I didn't get anything). He said I needed proof I'd been to give to HR? I just said oh yeah sure no problem.

Now what do I do?? I know this is all my own fault and doing and probably people have no sympathy for me but I need to resolve this without being found out or having to quit. I don't know what to do? Please be kind x

Wittsend13 Tue 24-Jun-14 23:25:03

Go to the doctors and get signed off. Or get a self cert. just say they didn't give you one, but doctor has signed you off for two weeks and find yourself another job pronto.

TheWorldAccordingToJC Tue 24-Jun-14 23:27:35

Oh you dafty !

Ok, call your doctor and make an appointment. Get signed off and then start thinking about how you can leave this place once and for all

WaffleWiffle Tue 24-Jun-14 23:29:47

Honestly I would say you need to hand your notice in and quit if you hate your job so much.

Your employer needs to know you can and will do your job, preferably happily, as much as you need to stay sane and happy in yourself.

Leaving would be best for you and also best for your employer. You really can't go around making up accidents and illnesses.

By all means get signed off for depression now an give yourself some time to think about what you want to do. But if you clearly hate it, then leave and find another job.

LaceyLitch Tue 24-Jun-14 23:47:42

Thank you all for your replies. I do want to quit but as I have no other skills I just end up in another similar job which I quickly hate too. In a perfect world I would quit working and go to school full time in Sept maybe working 1 or 2 days a week so I can begin a real career. I feel like I am big failure drifting from menial job to job with a ton of wasted potential. It's so upsetting. Some times I just feel like I don't want to leave my house for days at a time and hideaway from the real world.

I think the best option for me is to get signed off and look for another job. Even if I dislike the next one at least I won't have to go through the uncomfortable situation of explaining the lie. Only thing is I don't have a GP at the mo. Would I be able to register and get an appt within the next 2 days I have off do you think?

LaceyLitch Wed 25-Jun-14 15:03:27

Oh god. Work rang me twice today, first one I ignored as it was early in the morning. Second I had to answer. Another manager calling saying would I be in tomorrow, basically forced me to say yes I would come in tomorrow.

Then says our manager asked him to remind me about bringing papers from the hospital. I said I rang the hospital and they said I should have been given discharge papers and if I didn't have those then I would have to go through GP to get med notes. Explained I don't have a GP but will register today (which is true) and see if I can get them but sure its not going to be problem.

Feel like I am digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole. I really do not want to go in tomorrow or for the rest of the week. I had planned on spending tomorrow applying for new jobs. I registered with a new GP today and my appointment is on Monday. Between then and now I am supposed to work Thur, Fri and Sun, I can't handle it.

I want to just quit now and never go back, I know I could find another similar job very quickly, within the next 2-4 weeks for sure. I would have to lie to my boyfriend and say they sacked me as business is so bad there isn't enough hours for everyone and its last in first out sort of thing. He could cover the bills till I get a new job (I have enough to cover next months).

Frontier Wed 25-Jun-14 15:22:12

You need to sort out your whole job situation. Decide what you are going to do to change your situation and do it. Once you have a plan in place and an end in sight your current job might become more bearable. What do you do? Maybe someone can suggest some alternatives.

In the short term - if you've only been off a couple of days I don't think the company can ask you to prove you've been to the hospital. You self-certificate for up to 5 days, don't you?

I've never been given discharge papers when I've been to A & E (for me or DC)

Frontier Wed 25-Jun-14 15:23:42

Actually just read your last post again. You'd have to lie to your boyfriend? What? This runs far deeper than just not liking your job. Get yourself to the GP.

BristolRover Wed 25-Jun-14 15:24:42

try not to waste more NHS time getting yourself out of this hole you've dug though. Registering with a GP, all very necessary, but phonecalls to hospiatl A&E departments to try and fabricate your excuse isn't really on.

TheHouseatWhoCorner Wed 25-Jun-14 15:29:55

Do you have any annual leave owing?
If you do, could you book a couple of days and use them to job hunt and research what sort of career you would like to move into, and how yo do it.
At least then you could work the next few days with something positive to look forward to.

LaceyLitch Wed 25-Jun-14 15:34:51

Yes I have never been given discharge papers before but they keep insisting I need them.

I have only ever rang in sick once before because I was ill with a 24 hr bug sort of thing and the same manager kept saying I needed to go to the doctor and bring in proof that I'd been? I didn't have a doc at the time but even if I had I would not go for such a minor issue. They cannot make me give the proof if its only for 1/2 days can they?

In terms of long term job prospects, I want to get into sales and have been considering doing a marketing degree starting in September and/or applying directly to the companies I am interested in now and see if I am a suitable candidate at present.

LaceyLitch Wed 25-Jun-14 15:35:57

Frontier I didn't actually ring the hossy, just told work I had.

Lilaclily Wed 25-Jun-14 15:36:30

I would go in , say you don't have discahrge papers, have no way of getting them and that you will happily take them time as unpaid leave

all they can do then is ask you to resign which I guess is what you are planning anyway

LaceyLitch Wed 25-Jun-14 15:36:46

Sorry Bristol* not Frontier.

OffLikeADirtyShirt Wed 25-Jun-14 15:37:01

Wow, I'm gobsmacked at your attitude. So you lie to your employer because you hate working there, but won't quit because you'd rather they pay you sick leave... Then if you do quit with no notice, you want to lie to your boyfriend so he pays your bills?

It sounds like this isn't the first time you hated your job, quit, and expected him to pay for your share then.

Instead of dreaming about going to school, I think you should ask your GP for a referral to a counsellor. You seem deeply unhappy yet are looking for ways to escape instead of dealing with it. Lots of people are in jobs they hate to pay the bills. It's not that uncommon.

ThereIsIron Wed 25-Jun-14 15:38:50

Seriously, just resign, now.

LaceyLitch Wed 25-Jun-14 15:39:54

I don't know why they are insisting on knowing the ins and outs anyway as any sick days or whatever are taken as unpaid leave as it is an hourly paid job. I suspect they are asking to confirm its genuine but they have no reason not to as I have been a very good employee for them despite my feelings.

Youdontneedacriminallawyer Wed 25-Jun-14 15:40:33

Tell them you've now developed a sickness bug and you are going to self certify for the rest of the week, including the days you've already taken off. Remind them taht employees only need a fit note from a doctor after 7 days off work sick, and that you'd really prefer not to waste the NHS's valuable time as they are understaffed enough as it is already.

BigPawsBrown Wed 25-Jun-14 15:44:04

It's only 3.45pm. Use the rest of today to look for jobs/courses go to work tomorrow and until you're in a position to hand your notice in.

BristolRover Wed 25-Jun-14 15:50:13

CriminalLawyer - on what basis do you think she should lie to her employer to obtain a week's wages when she doesn't fancy going in because she doesn't like the sector she works in? how do you justify that? Would you steal several hundred pounds' worth of goods from a shop?

Unexpected Wed 25-Jun-14 15:51:46

To the people saying go to the GP and get signed off for a few weeks, what is she supposed to be signed off with??? Remember she hasn't actually been knocked over by a car. Work are expecting to see a cert with some actual injury arising from a car accident, not something dated from next week with completely different information.

Work can ask you to self-certify when you return (they may have their own form or use a standard one) which you will sign to verify your condition and absence, thus digging yourself an even bigger hole. You are also planning on lying to your boyfriend about this? Where is it going to stop?

Unless you are willing to admit to your company that you lied, I think your only course of action now is to resign. As you talk about drifting from job to job, presumably you will be able to find another one fairly easily. If you do not resign but try to continue this charade at work, you will highly likely face disciplinary action and end up being dismissed anyway.

LaceyLitch Wed 25-Jun-14 15:56:54

I WON'T GET PAID ANY SICK LEAVE IT IS AN HOURLY PAID JOB. IT GOES DOWN AS UNPAID TIME OFF!!! For the people who keep accusing me of stealing etc.

Frontier Wed 25-Jun-14 15:58:22

Unexpected, I think op needs to go to gp because she is unwell. She made up an elaborate lie to get out of work and the only way toward she can see involves lying to her boyfriend. She does need some help. I don't think gp will cover for her existing absence but she doesn't need that - it's covered by self-certification, if she's prepared to lie in writing!

rubadubstylee Wed 25-Jun-14 16:05:54

LaceyLitch
I don't know why they are insisting on knowing the ins and outs anyway as any sick days or whatever are taken as unpaid leave as it is an hourly paid job. I suspect they are asking to confirm...

Yep they're asking because they don't believe you. You've let them down, at the start of the shift by not being prepared and then by faking an accident and not coming back. Businesses won't tolerate unreliable/untrustworthy staff.

I actually feel very sorry for you. You sound really sad and I do sympathise. Lying about lies and lying to more people is going to make you feel worse. Draw a line under the lies to work by saying you don't have discharge papers and reiterate that most people don't get them. If they want to take further it will take time - use that time to get another job, any job. Don't compound your lies by lying to your boyfriend too.

Also, much as I want to be supportive, you are unlikely to get on a degree course starting in September. Places have been offered already. There will be a few courses that will consider very late applicants or have spaces through clearing etc but you need to be realistic in how likely that is.

I'm trying not to be too harsh as you sound at a very low ebb, but you need to take control, stop lying and have a clear realistic plan of action.

Good luck.

LaceyLitch Wed 25-Jun-14 16:08:35

In the last year and a half I have begun lying A LOT to employers and flitting around from job to job. I am a good employee for around 3 months then I get really sick of it and start inventing excuses to why I can't go. When I feel they are nearly done with me I leave. Sometimes I have a job already but most of the time I don't but I usually find a job in 2-4 weeks. Before I always had savings to support me until the next job but at the moment I don't so it would mean DP would be stuck with the full rent (we 1/2 and 1/2) and the council tax (which I pay).

It really kicked off when I left uni after being raped and feeling scared, lonely and friendless in my uni town. Came to London thinking things would be better and they just got worse. Ended up pregnant after 2 months with now DP had abortion complications and ended up off work sick for a month, quit my job as didn't want to explain it all to work. Ended up homeless after our 'landlord' turned out to be a fraudster crim and we all got evicted. DP took me in in his shared house. Then got kicked out from there after housemates complained about 2 people being in one room. Then was truly homeless kipping on a friends couch until DP and I got our own place.

Was in such a bad place then, felt depressed about giving up uni and having a shitty job, was self harming regularly, felt suicidal and even planned where/how I would kill myself as I felt anything was better than my life as it was. DP knew about self harm but not suicidal thoughts and helped me through.

Now have a nice home with DP who is wonderful but I am still so unhappy, feel like I am wasting my life in a pathetic service job when I could have been something. Looked down on constantly by customers everyday, treated like dirt. Even the nice customers say 'so what's your real job' or 'are you studying' feels so degrading to have to admit this is my life so I usually lie to them too.

Been in a good frame of mind for last few months but starting to feel down again lately. Sorry for the length this is the first time I have admitted any of this to anyone (IRL or internet) so please be kind.

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