Please help - resignation - can't get out!

(16 Posts)
ninah Mon 17-Mar-14 11:34:54

I resigned from my job recently (teacher, failing school) and have had lots of pressure put on me to reconsider. I agreed to stay but I feel sick, sick, sick. I don't think I can do it!

fascicle Mon 17-Mar-14 13:08:43

Are the reasons that led you to resign likely to be resolved/improve? Presumably something has to change (the job/working conditions/you) for you to feel happier.

ninah Mon 17-Mar-14 14:30:16

I hope they are but am really not confident! I'll just have to wait and see I suppose. Meanwhile the sick weight that lifted when I gave the letter in has settled back ....

tribpot Mon 17-Mar-14 14:32:27

A friend of mine did this same thing (not at a school). Resigned, was talked into staying and realised he'd made a horrible mistake. He resigned again.

Your gut's telling you pretty clearly to go. Do you think you agreed to stay more out of fear of the unknown than a genuine belief in change?

longtallsally2 Mon 17-Mar-14 14:37:57

Oh you poor soul! Did you meet a half term deadline for resigning? If you need to go still, then maybe someone more knowledgable could confirm, but perhaps you could simply reinstate your resignation.

If you do decide to stay, then those who put the pressure on, had jolly well better deliver the support. They owe you practical support and listening time. Any criticisms need to be turned round on them. I resigned because I didn't think we could change things. You persuaded me otherwise. So what do you have in mind to improve this situation.

Practically draw up a list of things that management could realistically do to help you. Try to avoid the totally impossible - free flight to the Seychelles at Easter - but go for a varied list: everything from a half day supply cover per week/ an hour a week from management supporting you/ down to more pencils/a cupboard door that doesn't jam shut. Make it a thorough list and be prepared to bring up items off your list whenever you can. They have a very short time to win you over, or a new letter of resignation can easily follow. You have made that decision once, not easily, I'm sure. It is up to them now to persuade you that this school want to keep you.

ninah Mon 17-Mar-14 16:15:01

tribpot yes I stayed out of pure funk.
The list is a good idea. I wrote that I'd reconsidered on the understanding issues would be addressed but I think I better be specific on paper as well as verbally.
Tricky jobshare situation, ill thought management initiatives and random change for sake of change dragging down results.
Verbally I've been very frank.
I feel I have just made a terrible decision and management mainly care that another resignation now on top of all the others looks bad.

ninah Mon 17-Mar-14 16:18:18

pure funk and also guilt, because of the children

BranchingOut Mon 17-Mar-14 16:22:50

Re-enstate your resignation, but agree to work the summer term on a supply basis?

ninah Mon 17-Mar-14 16:33:40

I'd definitely consider supply ... at other schools.
Am just going to have to hope I am wrong and it gets sorted!

tribpot Mon 17-Mar-14 16:48:13

Is it realistic to think it will get sorted? It doesn't sound like it is.

I understand you feel guilt for the children but this is your job. It sounds like the management have achieved their goal - avoiding the bad publicity of another resignation. They are unlikely to be motivated to address anything if that really was all they cared about.

I think Branching's idea is a good one - you will feel very differently about things if you know it's a temporary arrangement, it gets them out of the hole of finding someone for the summer term and makes it easier on the kids.

No. Don't hope. Say they have 3 mths to fix your issues or you will leave. The clearing of the issues results in staying. Now, if they aren't serious they will just say don't give us ultimatums, there's the door. If they are serious they will attempt to complete it. Win win!

ninah Mon 17-Mar-14 16:57:52

they will have to address it, standards are terrible and ofsted is due back ....
as supply I'd be scapegoated I reckon

flowery Mon 17-Mar-14 18:36:05

"Am just going to have to hope I am wrong and it gets sorted!"

Why? You made a considered decision to resign, the reasons for that are still the case. Stick to your decision, for the sake of your mental health by the sounds of it.

Geoff0409 Mon 17-Mar-14 19:24:49

It must be difficult as the children would undoubtedly suffer more without you. I would outline your main issues that need resolving quickly and give them a stated time - say half a term. Then more minor ones say that they need sorting by the end of that full term, otherwise you will then need to resign. Polite but professional, and make sure they know that you are staying for the children's sake as much as yours.

Loriens Tue 18-Mar-14 00:09:20

Ninah
I was on the other thread with you and I also handed my notice in without a job to go to.

I was offered a deal to stay and although I declined, it was re- offered two days before I was due to leave last week. A lot of pressure was put on me , the disruption to students was thrown in which made me feel very guilty. However, watching what was going on around me during the notice period and realising how unlikely things are going to change in the near future, I declined again. I also realised I was only considering staying for a group of students who will leave in May anyway.

Today is my first day of 'freedom' and already I feel both mentally and physically better. I would agree with previous posters; draw up a clear plan or list with a completion date and if the issues you raised have still not been addressed then you will know that you gave it your best shot and it is perhaps time for you to move on--as the children will eventually.

ninah Tue 18-Mar-14 00:32:04

Oh well done loriens, good for you, really pleased you were braver than I was and stuck by your decision, which was clearly the right one.
Children are incredibly resilient.
Congratulations on your freedom and hope I will be out soon too!

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