I'm turning down a job and feel bad about it, what should I say in my email

[bran]

The long story is:
I returned to work after adoption leave and asked for a reduction in my work hours (from 4 days per week to 3 days per week worked over 4 days) which was refused. I really don't like commuting so I applied for a job which is walking distance from home.

After two very long interviews I was offered the job, but 4 days a week (not 3 as I wanted).

I accepted the job by email, but when I told my current employer my director asked what he could do to make me stay with them. They have now come up with a package that suits me very well (3 days per week, 2 full and 2 half days, worked mostly from home so I only have to commute once or twice a week). I'm annoyed that they didn't do this when I first asked for it, but not annoyed enough to leave anyway out of spite.

I haven't signed the contracts with the new job and now I have to tell them that I'm not accepting the job. I do genuinely feel bad about it, they are very busy and really need an extra person and the time spent interviewing me has been wasted as it also means that they have to start again from scratch.

I tried to phone so that I could explain in person, but neither of people who interviewed me were available. I'm really bad a putting this kind of thing into writing. Advice please, should I tell them the whole story, or just keep it simple and tell them I've decided to stay with my current company?

[LittleCarlos]

Just tell that that due to unforseen circumstances you are unfortunatly unable to accept the position. Thank them for there time and apoligse for the inconvinience.

[waterfalls]

Was gonna suggest the same as LittleCarlos

[acnebride]

I would bump it up slightly and say that you are sad to miss the opportunity to work there or something like that. But don't worry, it happens all the time. If they've got any sense they should have at least one backup option on the go.

[bran]

Ok, simple and professional with a genuine sorry is the way to go then. I think if I'm honest half my wavering about telling them is that I'm not sure that I'm doing the right thing, it's a hard choice to make. There are quite a few pluses and minuses with both jobs that make it quite a complex decision, especially for someone with a tendency to dither.

[bran]

Forgot to say "Thanks" for your input.

[vitomum]

if it makes you feel better too they may not have to strat process from scratch. they may now just go to their second choice candidate - so you could be making someone's day at the same time!

[bran]

They don't have a second choice candidate, at least they did but that was me. The other candidate already knew the software but didn't want to work in the market sector they're in, I was second choice because I would have to learn the software before I would be useful to them (usually a couple of months) and they're so busy that they need someone right away. I know it's hard to get people who do what I do, which is why my current employer is making concessions that they don't want to to keep me.

[Arabica]

This is completely irrlevant but hello bran! Have you seen we have a meet-up thread for next Monday.

[bran]

I haven't been watching the meet up threads Arabica. How are you btw? Hope you're well. I'll wander over and have a look now, although I doubt I'll be able to make it as dh is working all hours atm but won't admit it. So I tell him I want to go out and offer to book a babysitter, he says babysitter not necessary as he will definitely be home in time, he comes home 2 hours late and I miss my night out. It's happened twice in the last 6 weeks.

[Arabica]

Bran, that's appalling. Why not get the babysitter and then he can work late if he wants to or go out with his friends if he doesn't.