Please help with this issue I have with my nanny!

(27 Posts)
Rabbitytatttatt Thu 14-Nov-13 18:10:18

I know this sounds like a total first world problem but please bear with me.

I have a nanny that looks after my three children two days a week before and after school (all day in the hols). I pay her a good rate and overtime.

She started off well but now I feel like she is doing the bare minimum that she can get away with, when I come in at night the kids are glued to the xbox and she just says they didn't want to do their homework. The kids never tidy their rooms, make their beds etc. when she is here.

Problem is that four months after starting with me she announced she was three months pregnant. I'm a bit narked at this but I can't do anything but suck it up.

Here is the issue, I don't think she is doing a great job with the kids and if she wasn't pregnant then I could feel that I could address it with her. She is supposed to start at x time and always turns up two or three mins late which doesn't seem like a lot but I literally dash out of the car and sprint for a train.

She has now asked me twice for time off for pregnancy appointments, which legally she is allowed to have. First of all she has three other days a week that she could go for these appointments and it means I have to pay someone else to look after the children.

I don't know how to handle it for the best. I'm a single mum so its not like on the occasions when she is off I can leave work early or get a partner to look after the kids.

Where do I stand legally? As I said I know its a first world problem but having the children looked after this way actually worked out cheaper for me. And my daughter with SEN can cope with someone in the house but not going to different houses all the time as we did when I had a childminder

flowery Thu 14-Nov-13 19:23:48

Where do you stand in what sense? What do you want to do?

There's no reason her pregnancy means you can't address your concerns if that's what you're asking.

She doesn't have 3 other days to have these appointments - you turn up when the clinic is on. When I was pregnant the clinic was on a Thursday so I went then.

RandomMess Thu 14-Nov-13 19:29:35

I think you do need to address her performance issues.

I would also discuss the homework and chore things with both the children and the nanny (not nec at the same time).

TheDoctrineOfWho Thu 14-Nov-13 19:31:40

Pottering, that's not always the case though.

TheDoctrineOfWho Thu 14-Nov-13 19:33:00

Sit down to discuss timekeeping and a list of duties eg homework supervision.

BrianTheMole Thu 14-Nov-13 19:38:50

I suppose different areas do things different. When I was pg my clinic was on a thursday. I couldn't do thursdays because i was at work. So I would see the hv or the gp on a different day instead.
If you're not happy with her because of the way she is or isn't looking after the kids, then you need to say something.

FunkyBoldRibena Thu 14-Nov-13 19:39:39

How long have you employed her?
Is she self employed or do you pay her through PAYE?
Have you given her objectives to work to?

NickNacks Thu 14-Nov-13 19:40:02

And you shouldn't have made her start time so close to your train time. Where's the proper handover time?

NomDeClavier Thu 14-Nov-13 19:56:01

You can start disciplinary proceedings whether she's pregnant or not. If supervising homework is in the contract you need to point that out formally and if ate doesn't pull her socks up go down the disciplinary route.

TheDoctrineOfWho Thu 14-Nov-13 19:56:54

When I hand over my pre-schooler to daycare staff, it takes a minute. Slept well, ate breakfast, bit cranky. These are school age kids and a before school slot will only be an hour or two.

Rabbitytatttatt Thu 14-Nov-13 20:10:46

Employed for six months, when she arrives the children are in bed so there isn't much to say in terms of handover. The kids are of school age.

I can deal with the pregnancy appointments but it's the other things, I pay her through PAye, this is my first time as an employer so I don't really know how to address with her. The contract says overseeing homework.

hettienne Thu 14-Nov-13 20:15:15

Lateness, xbox, homework and tidying have nothing to do with pregnancy. Why can't you address these?

Invite her for a 6 month review, go over her job description, tell her what's going well and what isn't etc.

Rabbitytatttatt Thu 14-Nov-13 20:17:03

I guess I'm just nervous because people keep telling me I have 'to be careful because she's pregnant'. I will discuss with her.

hettienne Thu 14-Nov-13 20:25:41

Presumably you have done everything you should have in terms of risk assessments - in which case there is no problem in expecting her to do her job well.

Unexpected Thu 14-Nov-13 20:55:42

Time for a review! Sit her down and lay out what she needs to do - you are not asking her to actually make beds or do the homework herself, all she has to do is supervise so I can't see how being pregnant can affect that.

Of course the children will say they don't want to do their homework, but if you make it clear to both them and her that it is part of the daily routine and must be done, then they really have to get on with it. You could also ban TV/Xbox until either homework is done or until a certain time of day.

You probably can't do anything about her appointments as many pregnancy clinics only run at certain times. You could ask her if it is possible to get appointments on other days but if she sas no, then you will have to live with it.

Being constantly late by 2-3 mins is irritating but it sounds very stressful if you are bolting out the door as soon as she arrives and the extra 2-3 mins is really not enough time for you to handover to each other in any case. If you want more time, you will probably have to ask her to start 15 mins earlier and pay her appropriately. I use to pay my after-school nanny until 6.45 although I arrived home at 6.30 or shortly after. The extra 15 mins meant that I didn't spend most train journeys home fretting every time the train stopped at a red signal or left the station 5 mins late. Over the year those 15 mins added up but what price my peace of mind? And when I was genuinely stuck on the train and 15 mins late, my nanny was fine about it because she appreciated that most of the time she was leaving 10 mins early anyway.

FunkyBoldRibena Thu 14-Nov-13 22:28:30

are you aware that you will have to pay her maternity pay as well as pay for her cover whilst on maternity?

Have you done a risk assessment since finding out she was pregnant?

I'd say as part of the risk assessment, that overseeing the homework is low risk so that part of the role will be unchanged and you will expect homework to be supervised and completed each day.

FunkyBoldRibena Thu 14-Nov-13 22:30:13

And I would pick her up on the lateness...just because for her safety you haven't got time to hand over and explain things that might affect her.

Unexpected Thu 14-Nov-13 23:51:37

You will have to pay for alternative childcare while she is on ML but her maternity pay will be refunded to you by the government plus a small percentage on top so you will not lose out financially. Has she given any indication yet of what she would like to do after ML? It's obviously early days and she doesn't have to indicate her wishes but she is not entitled to bring her baby to work with her afterwards unless you agree so you may well find that she doesn't wish to return.

Rabbitytatttatt Fri 15-Nov-13 07:36:50

This is my first time employing anyone. When I read up on 'what happens when the nanny is pregnant' there was nothing about a risk assessment! What assessment do I have to make? She does nothing high risk she doesn't have to physically lift anyone, tidy rooms, clean all she has to do if oversee the children.

With regards to maternity pay I was told the government pay me that. I am trying to find a cover for her replacement so I know I have to pay for that.

I don't think she will return after maternity leave, I think it will be near on impossible for her to look after three children and a baby and I don't think she will want too. Plus would that mean I have to baby proof my house? As I'm not sure I want to do all that again at my own expense for someone who hasn't been that great.

TheDoctrineOfWho Fri 15-Nov-13 07:43:30

Rabbity, you don't have to allow her to bring her baby to work after maternity leave. If she has alternate child care for the baby and wants to come back, that's different.

Wishihadabs Fri 15-Nov-13 07:51:37

Sympathies. How old are the dcs ? Our nanny/housekeeper isn't that great at putting her foot down and overseeing homework. That joy falls to me. However the house is spotless and she is a brilliant cook so I am not going to act up about making the dcs do it. Tonight I have told Ds (yr 5) that I expect homework done on my return and will check it. Would that work for you ? Or is it too late, are you running around clearing up. I can only do this because when I get in the house is clean and tidy and dinner is cooked.

Blu Fri 15-Nov-13 08:02:17

Your friends are scaremongering and your nanny is taking the piss.
Have a proper six month review meeting.
Go through her job description and point out areas where you would like to see things done more to your expectations. Tell her you need her to be ready to start by the agreed start time and what effect the few minutes have on your day.

Ask for her feedback on any issues she wishes to discuss. Set targets: homework done, arrival time sorted, etc.

You are paying her with your money, you have rights and a right to get done the job you are paying for.

Rabbitytatttatt Fri 15-Nov-13 08:21:30

They are 11, 8 and 6. She clears away the dinner things but her contract says she should ensure the children keep their rooms tidy and clear away after them. She also never ensures they brush their teeth, I had no idea about this until I took my eldest to the dentist and he has to have a load of fillings and I said doesn't xxx make you brush your teeth and he said no. I'm not saying its her fault about the teeth brushing as he is a pain about it but I thought basic things like that should be enforced.

NomDeClavier Fri 15-Nov-13 08:33:46

You might find this useful - it's aimed at nannies but has a lot about the employment legalities too.

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