Am I being paranoid? Concern about colleague, what to do?

(21 Posts)
maimai67 Sat 19-Oct-13 22:45:16

I am a primary school teacher and have worked in my current school for only a few months. I was telling my husband about our Reception teacher, who is male, and how he is in charge of ICT in the school and uses an online learning journey for the parent to see. He is out ICT troubleshooter and is an expert on computers, the internet etc. He films and photographs the children and puts evidence on the blog for the parents to see and has also set up the school's website. My husband, who is a social worker, said alarm bells were ringing for him, since a man who was working with children and such an expert in ICT fitted the profile for an abuser. They know how to hide evidence and delet files. I dismissed this, saying how nice he was, how friendly and good with the kids. But the seed of doubt has been sown and now I see him differently.
Almost the next day he came to see me about a girl in my class, who is a vulnerable child and has social workers involved in her family. He said that she was playing inappropriately with some of the boys in Reception and he implied that she 'knew what she was doing' and was 'loving the attention'. I was shocked at his implied sexualisation of this girl and reminded him that she is only 6 and extremely vulnerable. When I investigated further, there was hugging and hand holding going on in the playground but nothing particularly inappropriate. He wanted me to ban her from playing with these boys.
Tonight I looked at his profile on google. He has in his circles a ladyboy from Bangkok. This struck me as really weird. It's not his work google mail account (we use google mail for work emails) but it was an address that he sometimes contacts me from at home.
Basically, I am now a bit suspicious of him. I am wondering if he might be sending images of children to people on the web. Am I being a busybody or what? Does anyone have any advice? I suddenly don't trust him.

Katkins1 Sat 19-Oct-13 22:49:44

He is entitled to be friends with who he wants online. The fact that he wants to ban the girl from playing with the boys, rather than talking to the children, and his comments, ring alarm bells. I'd report that.

MrPricklepants Sat 19-Oct-13 22:52:10

He's male, works with children and knows computers.... My God he MUST be a paedophile. Your social worker DH is correct, no doubt. Jesus Christ!

You (a primary school teacher) and your DH (a social worker) need to stop gossiping and guessing, you both sound ridiculous.

ZangelbertBingeldac Sat 19-Oct-13 22:53:55

The comments he made about the girl would worry me.

The rest (what your DH said and who his friends are) would not be something I would raise with anyone else.

ZangelbertBingeldac Sat 19-Oct-13 22:55:49

Actually, thinking about what he said about the girl - inappropriate sexualised behaviour can be an indicator of abuse - do you think that's what he was trying to raise with you? Because I think that'd be a perfectly valid concern (if there was indeed inappropriate or sexualised behaviour).

ZangelbertBingeldac Sat 19-Oct-13 22:56:34

To be clear - was he trying to tell you that he's worried she is being abused (by someone else - not him)

Littlefish Sat 19-Oct-13 22:56:43

If you have concerns, then you should be discussing those with your safeguarding officer at school.

However, many, many schools use online programmes to record learning journeys. Many, many schools have teachers who are very IT literate. Many, many schools use blogs to keep parents informed.

Comments like those from your husband, based only on the first set of information you gave us is extremely unhelpful and Discriminatory against men in childcare or Teaching. Would he be saying those things if it was a female teacher?

I agree that his comments about the young girl do seem unwise, so he should be spoken to about the language he uses to describe the behaviour he has seen.

It is absolutely none of your business who he has in his "circles".

You are casting huge aspersions on this man's character based on nothing.

If you have concerns, then for goodness sake act in a professional manner and speak to someone at school, rather than discussing it on here.

MrPricklepants Sat 19-Oct-13 22:56:53

He didn't make those comments about the girl. The OP said he 'implied', did he really imply or did you interpret it this way because of your previous judgment of him.

If you have concerns you need to speak to your HT. Not start gossipy threads on MN.

BranchingOut Sat 19-Oct-13 22:58:00

If you are concerned about the child then you MUST speak to the person in charge of safeguarding.

If you are concerned about the way your colleague spoke about the incident then you MUST speak to the person in charge of safeguarding.

That is your professional responsibility. I do not advise asking for opinions on this matter on an open online forum.

BillyBanter Sat 19-Oct-13 23:00:38

Let's survey the evidence.

He's a man. obviously quite suspicious right from the off!

He knows how to work computers. massive red flag!

He works with children. men shouldn't really be allowed!

He has flagged up a concern over the behaviour of a girl who is already known to SS. blatant double bluff!

He has a varied mix of friends. ladyboys are without exception child porn consumers! true fact!

Definitely report him!!!!!!!!!

I don't really think you have enough to go on here.

ubik Sat 19-Oct-13 23:03:23

Look either you are concerned or you are not. If you are genuinely concerned that this man is abusing children then you need to take the advice above.

cafecito Sat 19-Oct-13 23:05:41

You are being very very unreasonable - stop looking for a problem with him.

TSSDNCOP Sat 19-Oct-13 23:17:00

If Mumsnet didn't exist what would you do?

Do that.

You are a teacher in a school that must surely have appropriate escalation processes. If your suspicions are such that you are concerned you should raise them in the appropriate manner.

Don't they teach you that?

Katkins1 Sat 19-Oct-13 23:23:41

Thinking again, the comments thing.... yes, he could be saying he's concerned about the girl. Unless your DH is a child protection worker, he probably knows very little on the issue (training is different). It strikes me as odd that alarm bells only rang after your DH said something. That's not really evidence. But report to a senior about the comments.

ilovemountains Sat 19-Oct-13 23:24:08

It is ridiculous to suggest that because he is male, works with children and is good at IT he fits the profile of an abuser. These days loads of people are very competent at IT.

BillyBanter Sat 19-Oct-13 23:27:24

I can't see his comments about the girl as anything other than concern that she may be behaving inappropriately for her age.

ConfusedandDazed24 Sat 19-Oct-13 23:30:22

Flag it with someone ASAP if you're genuinely concerned.

Wow! I hope neither of you work in my local authority as my DB - teacher, IT expert - would basically be fucked, putty due to supposition and prejudice.

Purely, not putty.

ProphetOfDoom Sat 19-Oct-13 23:48:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now