Can my employer insist... ?

(35 Posts)
CalvinHobbesMum Tue 30-Jul-13 18:29:11

First I have NameChanged for this. Second, I will change some details, but hopefully it will still make sense.

I have worked at xxx for nearly 7 years. I work part-time 5 days a week. My manager wants me to change to full-time 3 days a week (still the same number of hours). The reason is we have a colleague who is on long-term sick, probably for another 6 months, we have to shuffle various people around to spread the load and he thinks this is the best way to do it.

I don't want to. Maybe I should have just said 'No' after all its none of his business what my reasons were. But stupidly I told him why I didn't want to (childcare) and he is really pushing me to re-arrange my hours.

Incidentally, there is someone else who could do what he wants more conveniently instead of me - I can't give details without outing myself -but I would feel awkward pointing that out, without making it seem like I'm being difficult and unco-operative.

He has said that after kids are 5 years old, the employer no longer has to be 'flexible' with work cover hmm This sounds like nonsense to me! (and anyway I'm not asking them to be flexible - I'm just trying to continue with my current agreed hours).

I really don't want to seem unhelpful but my boss has said he "insists" we talk about it again next week. So my question is, can he 'insist' ? DH says to just tell them 'No' ... but how to do that without everyone then thinking I'm not a 'team player' ???

To anyone who managed to wade through all of that - thank you.

flowery Sun 04-Aug-13 21:43:41

What have your in laws got to do with it and why do you need to be concerned about keeping them happy? confused

CalvinHobbesMum Sun 04-Aug-13 22:27:21

I don't know... confused

Snog Mon 05-Aug-13 06:12:55

i think if there is a business need then effectively your employer can insist.
the boys are growing up though and could handle more independence
it might be nice for you to have 2 free days?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 05-Aug-13 06:25:20

Calvin, there is absolutely nothing in this thread about what you want.

What do YOU want?

Three full days would mean that you have two days at home (during school hours) to pursue your own interests. Personally that sounds ideal to me - with children as old as yours, I'd much prefer that. But maybe it's important to you to have those hours supervising homework and shuttling them to classes, is it? I mean, for your own sake, do you enjoy that time with them?

Would you actually like to have a career again? You say that you've accepted that yours will never be much of a priority...but again, your kids are 10 and 12, so if you wanted to go proper fulltime, you can if you want. Maybe these three full days would be a good starting point for that?

What do YOU want? Not your in-laws, not your husband, not all the people who think it's 1950 and you're working for pin money. You. What do you want?

SoWorriedPleaseHelp Mon 05-Aug-13 07:43:22

sorry if I missed this part - but are your children in senior school?

I can understand your concerns about leaving them alone as this is a possibility that we are going to have to consider next year when DS1 goes to senior school and formal after school childcare stops. DS1 is August born and so young for the academic year and also autistic.

We looked at senior schools a year early to gage what they can over him and it is apparent that even though there are not formal childcare facilities there are a vast amount of after school clubs that he could attend for free. Is this a possibility for your children?

SoWorriedPleaseHelp Mon 05-Aug-13 07:44:38

"over him" = offer him hmm

CalvinHobbesMum Mon 05-Aug-13 10:45:13

Sorry, that confused was to flowery

Tortoise I'm glad you noticed that - I do feel they are bit young (again August born, immature etc) but I also want to keep everybody happy. What have the in-laws got to do with it, oh just pressure to do the right thing - whatever that is.

soworried Yes I'm talking about senior school, and I'm sure there are after-school clubs but I've looked on their website and can't see anything yet. That would be ideal.

Thanks everyone for suggestions and advice.

SoWorriedPleaseHelp Mon 05-Aug-13 11:00:01

As much as you don't want to rely on friends etc, is there another parent whose children are at the same school that you could "double up" with?

Or a college student/6th former that would come and sit in the house with them just for "pocket" money?

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 05-Aug-13 12:12:48

Calvin, okay, but you still haven't told me what YOU want. I mean, for your own life. Totally selfishly. Let's assume that the boys will be fine either way, that your DH will step up when required to, etc. What do you want to be doing with your days?

CalvinHobbesMum Mon 05-Aug-13 14:05:25

For me, personally I would prefer sticking to my current days - but I don't mind changing too much if it helps out the boss.

If I was 100% confident about making the right decision, I would tell parents/in-laws without worrying. But at the moment I'm just not sure. An after school club would bring a different set of issues, because I still wouldn't be back in time to pick them up - and then they'd have to get home in the dark.

What I want is to keep everybody happy, which makes my life easier! Oh damn, I've just had another thought - the dog. Why is life so complicated.

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