I am the boss ..... how would you feel if your boss did this

(35 Posts)

I have a dress code for work and whilst my dh ignores it and dresses as he pleases (smartly as it happens but, for example, he doesn't wear a tie) I have always adhered to what I expect the staff to wear.
But do I have to - or, as the boss, can I get away with wearing what I like? I would be setting a bad example wouldn't I?

VivaLeBeaver Fri 19-Jul-13 19:00:21

I don't think you should expect others to do what you're not prepared to do.

Unless there is a good reason. Ie, you're not customer facing but everyone else is?

duchesse Fri 19-Jul-13 19:00:30

I think if the dress code exists you should abide by it if you want to be an effective manager, especially if you don't have to.

MissStrawberry Fri 19-Jul-13 19:02:23

What role does your DH have?

If you are cool in summer clothes while staff aren't allowed to take off a jacket, tie, cardigan etc then yes, it would piss me off.

Lonecatwithkitten Fri 19-Jul-13 19:08:10

I dress slightly smarter than I expect my staff to. If I have to bend the rules I explain for example currently my feet are so swollen only fit flops will go on normally flip flops are not allowed.

saintmerryweather Fri 19-Jul-13 19:10:00

yes you should abide by the same dress code as your staff, anything else would possibly cause bad feeling

AllThreeWays Fri 19-Jul-13 19:14:06

If your husband won't wear a tie, no one should have too.
Lead by example

Delayingtactic Fri 19-Jul-13 19:14:06

Of course you should. And so should your DH.

goodgrief54 Sat 20-Jul-13 06:23:41

Why not just change the dress code so no ill feelings and staff happy..

Carolra Sat 20-Jul-13 06:29:24

You absolutely must adhere to it. Do you let other people bend the rules for swollen feet etc? To be honest, if your DH should be adhering to it as well... You're in charge and you should be setting an example...

chickensaladagain Sat 20-Jul-13 06:34:51

What business is it that people are still wearing ties?

flowery Sat 20-Jul-13 12:14:15

I'm a bit surprised it's even occurring to you that this might be ok tbh.

If you are fine with whatever it is you want to wear being worn at work, then relax the dress code for everyone accordingly.

Yes you can "get away with it", in that no one is going to discipline you, but employees don't work effectively or productively when they are irritated by and resentful of their boss.

VBisme Sat 20-Jul-13 12:17:32

You should be dressing more smartly than you expect your staff to dress.

I would feel pissed off although I like dressing smartly for work, it helps me feel more focused although I'm faking it till I make it.

Crinkle77 Wed 24-Jul-13 16:05:48

I think you should lead by example

ResNulis Wed 24-Jul-13 16:09:23

Lead by example.

That said, in this weather it has just been sensible to allow 'heatwave adjustments'.....no ties in the office was the first on the list.

ResNulis Wed 24-Jul-13 16:09:47

X post

Ragwort Wed 24-Jul-13 16:11:12

Of course you should lead by example, as Flowery says, why are you even asking?

KatyMac Wed 24-Jul-13 16:13:06

I wear the same unless I have a meeting with an outside agency; they my team make me dress up so it's obvious I'm in charge

I encourage coolness in acceptable (non uniform) colours in this weather (so black, white, grey, lilac, blue etc not pink, peach, yellow uniform is dark purple)

I have said anyone brave enough can wear hotpants.....but as we are mostly middle aged no-one does wink

daimbardiva Wed 24-Jul-13 16:15:01

If you have standards you expect your staff to adhere to, you should adhere to them too, or even go a bit smarter to set an example. This is what I try to do but some of my team are still scruffy as scruffy can be

alwaysinamuckingfuddle Fri 26-Jul-13 00:01:07

I can't believe you're even asking this.

If you have a company dress code then you and your DH should both be abiding by it. If you didn't, I would take it with a pinch of salt personally.

CookieDoughKid Fri 26-Jul-13 20:10:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

To those who are surprised I am even asking - I totally agree. I have always tried to lead by example, and have always set a high standard for myself (higher than I expect my staff to adhere to). I have had endless arguments with dh over this - and he still doesn't 'get it'.

We have run our business for over 20 years and whilst I have strived and strived to maintain excellent standards in every aspect, dh has preferred to 'bumble along' doing as little as possible and undermining me at every turn. He even moans every time I go to work - saying he doesn't know why I work so hard!!!! I honestly don't now how we have survived thislong - business-wise and marriage-wise.

Now after 23 years, I think I have finally run out energy to keep it all going any longer. I just don't care any more - hence wanting to flout my own dress code rules!! The last 3 years have been especiially tough (we have earned less than £15 pa - which is less than even our lowest paid KP) but dh has insisted he wants to keep going - but it is only because he can't envisage doing anything else.
A few months ago he hired aBusiness Mentor to give us some guidance on how to revive business and lo and behold she told him all the things that I knew we should be doing. But dh, being dh, had chosen to ignore me. And now he has not followed through one even one single suggestion form the business mentor. That is the final straw for me.

I have been offered a job elsewhere that I KNOW I would enjoy and be good at - and I would get PAID!!!!!
oops - gotta go.

MaryBateman Fri 26-Jul-13 21:37:04

Well it all depends on what your business is and what your staff are expected to do as to how they should dress. Your post doesn't give enough details. I know that some people think that staff have to be wearing a formal business suit to act professionally but in a call centre environment it really doesn't work like that. if they're dealing with face to face contact with customers that's different again. Formal office dress does not necessarily deliver good customer service.

But yes, their senior leaders should also comply with any policies in respect of dress that they expect their staff to. Can you imagine working through the heatwave last week in a stuffy office having to wear a suit, shirt and tie or skirt, jacket, blouse and tights whilst your boss swans in wearing shorts and a t-shirt? De-motivating much?

So, I think it is pretty clear that I no longer care whether I am respected by the other members of staff. I never thought I would be saying that!!
Dh is just beginning to come round to the idea that we should try and sell up, and hopefully he will grasp that notion more firmly as my commitment to the business declines.
Another consideration is that dh can retire in 2 years time - but I have another 11 years of working life - and I may not even want to retire then. So if I am going to start in a totally new career I need to start asap, and not wait until dh retires (when I will be 58).

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