How do I deal with this? Feeling a bit pushed out.

(5 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Wed 17-Jul-13 08:31:14

My colleague is lovely, keen and very competant. Our line manager gave us a task of setting up a programme at the school where we work just as I got jilted by ex. I was devastated but just about hung on in there at work.
My colleague got her head round the programme faster than me, got her head round it and has sort of taken charge and to give her credit, she has done a fantastic job. I have helped a fair bit and now I am over my ex, I have loads of energy back.
She just got a grip on the website a lot faster than i did when I was grieving.
I would like to get involed more and I keep asking her 'do you want me to do something?' but she just says no, does it herself and then goes to see the manager to tell her about the latest developments.
She does deserve most of the credit but now I feel practically redundant. I would like to be involved too very much as I am enthusiastic about the programme. I would also like to be involved with talks with my line manager but she just goes without telling me. Am I being unreasonable but I would like to help too?!
Shall I just sit her down and tell her that I would be more than happy to do my fair share? I have always wanted to but she has had a lot more experience than me. Politics...blurgh.

superstarheartbreaker Wed 17-Jul-13 08:32:04


HappyAsASandboy Wed 17-Jul-13 08:46:49

I really don't want to sound harsh, but if I was in your colleagues position and had carried the project for a while, I really wouldn't be putting effort into thinking of things for you to 'help' with hmm

If you want to be involved, then you need to come up with ideas and say 'I am going to/I would like to do X. I think it'd be a good thing because of Y'. You need to take responsibility for your own input, not expect her to come up with the ideas/jobs/tasks, you 'help' and then share the credit!

I realise you we're not able to contribute equally at the start, but if you want to be involved now then you need to DO something, not expect your colleague to come up with tasks for you.

I'm glad you're feeling better about the breakup.

Champagnebubble Wed 17-Jul-13 09:07:51

Why don't you ask her to brief you on what she has done to date as you want to be in charge of your own part. If she refuses reiterate it is a joint project and you aren't trying to take the credit for what she has done, you want to have your own piece of work to do. Make sure you tell her how much you appreciate her and if she's done a good job, make sure you tell her. There must be bits of work left that you can extract and make them your own. Sometimes people ate reluctant to work on a project together especially when they are into it as and she has been doing the project on her own. just be clear and firm and let her know you aren't critiquing her work, just want to do your own part of the joint project.

superstarheartbreaker Wed 17-Jul-13 18:11:39

She hasn't been doing the project alone; she has got her head round it quicker than I have but I have done visits to other institutions, written reports, designed awards etc.
I think we are starting to get somewhere as today I made some suggestions and she listened etc. I think we do work well as a team. Just feeling a bit useless.

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