More of a discussion really

(8 Posts)
missingmumxox Wed 01-May-13 01:12:17

I have an amazing member of staff, self motivated, confident with managers and users of our service, can prioritise well, organised, polite, multitasker, quick learner, humourous appropriately with clients, team worker.... You get the drift.
Weeknesses needs an injection of confidence in her abilities, see above, and when I casually walk up and ask if a,b or c has happened yet, acts flustered and bumps it to the top of her list, even though I am just asking, she knows what my priorities are if important as I always set it out from the start... To be fair I have tried to stop the oh has so and so replied yet, has x been done because I could do y if it has, as I do recognised her tendency to do this. I have never had to chase her for work
Her back story is I think she is a worrier naturally, but she was bullied in her pervious job and this has left it's mark.
This is not her telling me this, I have been told this by HR and her complaint upheld, however due to how things where back then, she was managed sideways and ended up working for my predecessor and now me.
A few weeks ago in a management meeting a discussion came up and the sticking point was that the current holder was leaving, but the job only just advertised during the discussion the role of the job was discussed and I kept thinking missings admin could do that! Standing on her head.
I went back looked it up and the 2 issues I could see where the exact 2 I had, had before my role as in never been a budget holder manager of staff

missingmumxox Wed 01-May-13 01:13:10

Ahhhh! iPhone ! I will continue in a short while

missingmumxox Wed 01-May-13 01:43:11

Budget holder and Manager of staff, both of which I have found easier than I would have imagined and not just due to her being diligent, I have had 2 members of staff who where nightmares, one who was managed out despite my best efforts to help her, it was others complaints with mounted up which forced the situation.
Soooo, after a week off worrying she would take it the wrong way, thinking I am trying to get rid of her I told her about it, it is a serious promotion if she gets it, 2 grades. Over a 50% pay rise.
I was not wrong, she did worry, and personally I worry about my sanity! Why did I do this ? I suppose that in my career I have had women who have done this for me, lord knows I don't want to lose her,
There is no guarantee on this job she might not even get an interview.
So have I done the right thing pointing the job out to her? I think I am but can't help but worry that She will blame me if she gets it and hates it,
or she might really not believe me it is because I genuinely believe she is capable of more and because I respect and like her this is why have pointed her to this job.
And the biggie....what the chuff have I done! What if she gets it? I won't have her anymore...
Discuss would you have done any differently, for the record I can't get more money and she is on the top of her grade and the previous
Manager and me have both tried to get it improved and failed, me twice and from what the previous manager said she tried 2 to 3 times

goodgrief54 Wed 01-May-13 12:32:58

As a worrier myself and someone prone to paranoia in work have you thought about taking her out for a coffee and talking to her as a friend/mentor rather than as a manager? You could just be blunt and tell her how good you think she is and that you are concerned that she does not see this. Also ask if she is seeking any support with regards to her worrying. She could probably benefit from some CBT.

You have absolutely done the right, selfless thing by advising her of the role. If she got the role it would hopefully boost her confidence and allow her to start seeing her true value.

Stevie77 Wed 01-May-13 23:53:37

All I can say is, you are clearly a good manager who can see the best in staff and have done the right thing. God, I wish other managers I have come across were as selfless and considerate as you've been!

Champagnebubble Sat 04-May-13 20:40:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missingmumxox Tue 07-May-13 01:03:50

Thanks, been away so delay in that thanks
I have taken on board the comments and the out if office idea is one I will take away, we actually can't do this in this situation but a different set of circumstances, that would be the gold standard, unfortunately we are public service so time out in the day is a no no, and I have to dash out at 5 on the dot to travel the 30 miles home to pick my children up.
I do agree that most of my motivation for this is that I have been helped in most jobs, by most of my managers to get on, with the odd nasty boss thrown in, to show me what a good manager is:0)
I would say that my greatest motivator after good mentorship, was my Dad, who just after my mum died told me of his 2 greatest mistakes in life, one was constantly blocking the promotion of/not telling her if jobs he thought she could do/telling other managers she had no ambition about his PA of 15 years.
I was so shocked, as his respect of her was unfailing, she was a family friend in the end, invited to her wedding, my mum delivered her 2nd at her request, he told me she was like his other daughter the one that didn't get drunk and mess up his house smile impossible to get the humour across in that statement :0)
He said if anyone treated me that way, he would have been extremely angry.
So my mentors the good and the bad have done some good,
She has applied for the job, I await with trepidation!

Bigwuss Tue 07-May-13 06:51:42

You sound like a lovely manager. Can you help her with interview practise with someone in the group or at least find a team member to structure her answers or would that look like you are trying to get to leave?

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